Security Authors
by Wherever Girl
Summary: Mickey hires authors, WG and Fanatic, to be security guards at the House of Mouse. How hard can it be?
1. Ep 1, Now Hiring Part One

And now for another story of which I shall try to update while working on others and dealing with the pressures of life. Enjoy! :D

Summary: WG and Fanatic are hired as security guards for the House of Mouse. How hard could guarding a club full of DISNEY characters be? …This is where we find out.

And disclaimer claims neither I nor Fanatic97 own any of the Disney, Transformers, Calvin and Hobbes, or Kingdom Hearts characters that will appear in this story.

My Kitty: Meow. *Translation: "This is going to be trippy."

Ignore my sarcastic cat who just lost her catnip mouse privileges, and LETS GET THIS STORY ROLLING!

*o*

It was a typical night at the House of Mouse. Beloved Disney stars pulled up to the club for a night of entertainment, watching a few Mickey Mouse cartoons, and seeing O'Mally and the Ally Cats perform (hoping the band wouldn't get cancelled or delayed THIS time). Everything was going smoothly: The cartoons were good, none of the villains were causing too much trouble, and Goofy only goofed up five times. It was all well…

*KA-BOOM!*

…up until the security guard got blasted back by Vinny's dynamite, regardless that his comrades from the Atlantis journey told him time and time again to leave it at home. When the security guard had tried to confiscate it, he only ended up hitting the detonator, which was the reason why he was planted against the brick, plastered wall.

"That's it! I QUIT!" The security guard shouted, prying himself off the wall and heading for the exit.

"Wait, don't go!" Mickey cried, rushing up in front of him. "I know this isn't the easiest job in the city, but you have to understand-"

"No, YOU have to understand, Mouse! I've been electrocuted, set on fire, pied in the face FIVE TIMES, hit on by two evil stepsisters, caught an allergic reaction to pixie-dust, not to mention that waiter of yours spilled ten plates of spaghetti on me all at once… AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE AN HOUR!" he pushed Mickey aside and stormed out the door. "And in case you haven't noticed, I'M NOT SUICIDAL!"

…he said this as he stood in the middle of the street, only to get hit by a bus.

Mickey stood outside the front door with Minnie at his side, hanging his head low. "Oh, Mickey, what are we going to do?" Minnie asked, laying a hand on his shoulder. "That was the 37th security guard this month!"

"I guess they don't make them like they used to," Max said, trying to lighten things up.

"Ah, that guy was a wimp anyway," Donald scoffed. "I'd do a better job watching this place!"

"So who's next on the list?" Daisy asked.

"No one, that was the last one the agency said they would send us," Mickey sighed, shaking his head.

Suddenly, Pete drove up, smirking. "Not having any problems with security, are you, Mouse?" he asked, slyly. "Because you know what I told you before…"

_~Flashback~_

Pete and Mickey stood outside the House of Mouse, a month prior. "Alright, Mouse, I've been noticing a lack of security around here, lately. Either you find yourself a good security guard, or this place gets shut down!" Pete was demanding.

Mickey shrugged. "Security Guard? That will be easy," he said.

"You'd think that, wouldn't you? Word on the street that there's been quite a few loonies running around… and if I find out there's been anything dangerous happening in or around this club, you can kiss this place goodbye! Do we understand each other?"

"Don't worry about it. I hire only the best!"

_~Present~_

Mickey's shoulders slumped. "Um, well, we've been looking into it, but haven't found anyone suitable for the job JUST yet- but we've still got plenty of resources, so don't try anything just yet!" he lied.

Pete burst out laughing. "HA! I've seen the guys leaving this place! Only a complete MANIAC, filled with every kind of INSANITY, who was absolutely PSYCHO, would sign up for the job!" he teased.

*descending whistle*

A large shadow covered Pete's car just then. "What the…?" he looked up.

*CRASH!*

A giant safe landed on the car (Pete included), and the door opened, revealing the two authors, Wherever Girl and Fanatic97. "Did someone say 'psycho'?" Fanatic boasted.

"And insanity?" WG added.

"AND MANIAC?" They exclaimed together.

"Oh no…" Max groaned, covering his face. "It's my brother's crazy girlfriend, and one of her even crazier friends."

"Thank you, Max… for that MARVELOUS introduction," WG said with a smirk, then turned to the reader. "Anyone who can guess where that quote comes from gets a cookie-"

"OH! Hocus Pocus!" Fanatic exclaimed, sticking his hand in the air.

"DARN IT, FANATIC! THAT WAS FOR THE READER!"

"Sorry. …Do I still get a cookie?"

"Um, who exactly ARE you kids?" Mickey asked, a bit confused and startled.

"We're just two authors looking for a job…" WG said, smiling while rocking on her heels.

"And from the sounds of it, you've got a position open!" Fanatic added, while munching on a cookie.

"Well, are you sure you're qualified?" Minnie asked. "This job is a tad, er, hazardous."

"Are you kidding? They just dropped out of the sky in a SAFE!" Donald snapped.

"…What the heck was that all about, anyway?" Max asked, looking at the safe.

"Lets just say, the employees at Wal-Mart don't like to be messed with after 3 AM with loony antics," Fanatic answered.

WG rubbed her hands together. "So! When can we begin?" she asked. "Because I'm saving up for a college tuition and need the cash, and babysitting is getting me nowhere."

"Uh, lets start with an interview, first. Right this way," Mickey said, albeit nervously, as he and the others showed the two authors the way in.

Pete stuck his hand out from under the safe, waving it wildly. "Hey! Someone get this thing off me!" he shouted in a muffled voice.

*o*

After an interview, going over a few references, and going over a few rules, Mickey decided to hire the two authors… mostly out of desperation, considering they were his only solution. "I'm glad you guys are willing to work here," the famous mouse said to them, shaking their hands. "Now, are you sure you'll be willing to handle the hours, let alone any oncoming mayhem?"

"Hey, we've dealt with worse," Fanatic assured.

"Yeah, there's nothing we can't handle," WG said… then her eyes bugged out. "OH MY GOSH! IS THAT BELLE AND THE BEAST?!" she then whipped out a ridiculously large autograph book, rushing to the table.

"…except WG's heart-rate,"

Mickey watched the crazed authoress run from table to table, getting autographs from her favorite characters, villains, and sidekicks, up until Fanatic threw a net over her and dragged her back. "…Why do I get the feeling this was a bad idea?" he moaned, then went to his dressing room.

Fanatic dragged WG to the front door. "Calm down, woman, we're only on the first chapter for Lord's sake!"

"Sorry… my nostalgic inner-Disney fan kicked in," WG said, shrugging. "You should've seen it when I first ran into the Fangface gang,"

"Yeah, it was all over Fox News… where on earth did you get the machete, anyway?"

"Amazon. …So are we going to start guarding or what? Because I'm already up to four pages and nothing interesting has happened yet! When is the action going to start?!"

"Don't ask ME! You're the one writing the story!"

"Well YOU'RE the co-author, and this whole story was YOUR idea!"

Fanatic sneered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Not MY fault you're losing your touch…"

"Oh, THAT'S IT!"

The two authors got into a brawl…

…not noticing two shadowed figures sneak into the building.

_Meanwhile in the building…_

Mickey stood on stage. "And now, here's a cartoon, starring our friend, Goofy!" he introduced. As the lights dimmed and the cartoon started, he stepped off the stage, meeting the others backstage. "Well, how are things going?"

"So far, not too bad…" Minnie answered, though heard the sound of the authoress being thrown through a window. "For the most part… Mickey, are you sure hiring those two was a good idea? Max said they're sort of… goofy."

"That's ridiculous!" Goofy scoffed. "Everyone knows I'M Goofy!"

Mickey and Minnie exchanged looks. "Well… they're the only ones who were willing to work, and if they can pull it off, it'll keep Pete off our backs," Mickey answered. "We just have to give them a chance,"

"Lets just hope nothing goes wrong," Daisy sighed.

*o*

A/N: Next chapter… will the authors manage to keep the job? (I hope so, I've got a college fund at stake here!)

Also, special thanks to my co-author, Fanatic97, for this idea.

Please review, but don't flame. Seriously- I carry dynamite by the stacks! (wow, I am insane, aren't I?)


	2. Ep 1b, Now Hiring Part Two

Now to see how well Fanatic and I do on the job :D

**Reviewer Thanks**

**Scoobycool9 and Luckycool9: **Lets hope so. And yes, this shall be interesting.

**Fanatic97: **Good choice.

0o0

_Later that night…_

It took a while, but WG and Fanatic managed to break out of their brawl, calling a truce, and getting back to the job. "So… see any good movies, lately?" WG asked, deciding to start a conversation.

"Not since we got locked in that safe and catapulted across the country," Fanatic answered.

"Ah."

It was quiet then, for a couple seconds.

"MAN this is boring! You'd think being a security guard in the tooniverse would be more exciting!"

"Give it time, WG, we've only been here for like…" Fanatic looked at his watch. "Three hours. …How late does this place stay open, anyway?"

"I dunno. But I'm not just going to stand around here and do nothing- even IF that's what being a security guard is all about." she turned and started heading for the building. "I'm going to go check around, make sure no nut-jobs snuck in while we weren't looking."

"Oh, no you don't! You're staying guard right out here!" Fanatic pulled her back.

"What?! Why?!"

"Because you and I BOTH know that, if you went in there, you'd see one of your favorite Disney stars, go wacky, and bring up a bunch of ideas for spin-offs or sequel-remakes! …And that doesn't come until later! I'LL go on patrol, you just stay put!"

"Aww… you never let me have any fun."

While WG sat there and pouted, Fanatic went inside the building.

*o*

_Meanwhile, on the roof…_

"This is it, once we're inside, no one can stop us!"

"What about the security guards?"

"Pffft, don't worry about them. They wouldn't have the nerve!"

"Did you not notice that one of them was CARRYING A MACHETE?!"

"Yeah, but she never does any harm with it…"

"…you obviously never been to the New Years Eve party last year,"

"And YOU have?!"

"…um, no. But from what I've heard, I'm glad I hadn't. What are we doing at this place, anyway?"

"Simple. We're going to make this club have a night no one shall ever forget! Mwuahahaha! …now help me shimmy down this air-duct."

"If you say so…"

*push*

"Not so faaaAAAAAAST!"

*Clank! Clink! Clunk! Clonk!*

"ow…."

"Ooh, they're going to have a fit about all those dents in that duct,"

*o*

Fanatic paused, hearing the clanging sounds in the air-vents. "Either this place has air-conditioning problems, or we're about to get a cameo appearance," he said to himself.

As he walked by, Jasmine and Aladdin looked at him. "Is that one of Mickey's new security guards?" she whispered.

"Yeah, looks like he just got out of a brawl with WG," Aladdin replied. "Chances are, with them on guard, nothing dangerous will enter this place,"

"Oh, sure, and maybe we'll get our network back from those pop-star brats," Iago huffed, flying onto their table. "If you ask me, this place is going to be a time-bomb waiting to go off with them around! You know how psychotic WG is… and her friend looks even more crazy!"

"Iago, how can you say that?" Jasmine scolded.

"You mean besides one of them made a human-shaped crater in the middle of the floor?" He thumbed over at a hole shaped suspiciously like Fanatic… which Goofy accidentally fell into. "I'm telling you, those kids might be trouble!"

Aladdin and Jasmine shook their heads. However, Iago wasn't the only one with a negative opinion about the new security guards. "Smee, I'm telling you, those two lads may be the death of us yet!" Captain Hook was ranting. "That blonde boy asked if he could try on my hook- next thing you know, he may be stealing my OTHER hand!"

"Er, actually, Captain… the blonde one is a girl," Smee answered.

"Nonetheless, they're still too rambunctious to- did you say girl? That be odd…"

"I don't see why they hired those two psychotic kids, when they have me here!" Gaston was boasting to the triplet girls who swooned over him. "No one's a better security guard than Gaston!"

"If he got the job, this club would be in the toilet," The Reluctant dragon huffed to Elliot, who chuckled.

Safe to say, not many of the Disney stars thought having WG and Fanatic around decreased their chances of danger- rather, they felt their presence increased it. And the staff could feel the tension rising. "Sheesh, they've only been here three hours, and already everyone's complaining about the security," Daisy scoffed.

"Well can you blame them? Those kids are nuts!" Donald sneered.

"Oh, just give them a chance," Minnie said. "I'm sure, once they see how useful they can be, everyone will change their minds about them,"

"Yeah, WG is a nice girl- even if she knows how to make holes in the floor with someone else's body." Goofy said. "And Fanatic is purty nice too, even if he does launch crazy girls out a window,"

"Not too reassuring, Goofy," Clarabelle replied.

WG walked in just then. "The perimeter outside is clear," she said. "Only problem is that Pete-pancake that won't shut up about that safe on his head."

"Where's Fanatic?" Minnie asked.

"He came inside to check around, make sure no one came inside during our brawl. …Hey, speak of Churnabog, there he is now."

Fanatic was walking over, but froze, taking out a cross and holding it up in defense. "CHURNABOG?! WHERE?!" he gasped. "WG, quick, hand me some holy water!"

"It was an expression, Fanatic! Your soul is safe!"

"Oh… I knew that. (ahem) Well, everything is clear in here. No problems as far as the eye can-"

*Zap!*

The lights went out just then. "As far as the eye can WHAT, Fanatic?" Daisy asked, cynically.

"As far as the eyes can… smell!" Fanatic said quickly. "And since eyes clearly can't smell, I meant there IS something going on! C'mon, WG!"

"Right behind ya, Fanatic!" WG said.

"Actually, you're in front of me."

"Oh. Well, c'mon then!" With that, the authors maneuvered their way around the dark.

"Everybody, calm down, please!" Mickey called to the crowd, holding a flashlight. "We're just having a power-out, nothing to worry about!"

"I bet one of those authors caused it!" Timon called. "I saw one of them wanting a souvenir lightening bolt from Zeus!"

"They probably smashed the other against the circuit-box!" Cruella sneered.

"Or they made us all go BLIND!" Drizzella shrieked.

"EVERYONE, LISTEN!" Mickey called. "It's just. A power. Outage! Nothing dangerous!"

Suddenly, the screen came on, showing a giant, glowing skeletal face, cackling. "Hello, House of Mouse patrons!" it said in an electric voice. "Say hello to your new guest!"

Mickey stared in shock. _Or… maybe so. _he thought, gulping.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

**right now.**

The giant skull on the screen cackled, while the crowd stared in shock and fear. "What's going on?! Who are you?!" Mickey demanded. "What do you want?"

"One question at a time!" The skull snapped. "First, this is known as 'crashing the party'. Second, I am your new guest… and what I want is for you to heed my demands!"

Mickey crossed his arms. "Why should we listen to you?!" Immediately, a sand-bag from the rafters dropped, inches from crushing him.

"Any more questions? Good. NOW LISTEN UP! First, I want all these cutesy Disney characters out of here- THAT MEANS YOU, BIG-EYES!"

Bambi cringed, ducking behind his table.

"Second, let the villains run this place- they're the ones who REALLY make the movies good!"

"I don't know who this guy is, but so far his demands sound… acceptable," Jafar said with a smirk… but got hit with a tomato. "WHO THREW THAT?!"

"Third, I demand a different set of cartoons in this place… say, in the comic genre!"

While the skull was listing his demands, Fanatic and WG were sneaking through the dark, hearing a voice that sounded like the skull's coming from behind the curtains. "Pssst, Mickey! Over here!" Fanatic whispered, motioning Mickey and the rest of the staff over.

WG saw the power-switch and turned the lights back on, making the skull on the screen a little hard to see. "HEY! Turn off the lights! No one can see how scary I look!" Fanatic pulled back the curtain…

Where they saw Calvin and Hobbes, the six-year-old nuisance wearing a glow-in-the-dark skull mask and standing in front of a camera, which projected his image on the screen. "Um, Calvin?" Hobbes whispered, standing behind the camera.

"(Not now, Hobbes! I still have more demands) …As I was saying, I want to see comic characters- specifically ones about a brave, hansom boy genius who has a tiger companion…" Calvin was boasting, speaking into one of those toy microphones that disguises one's voice.

"Calvin…"

"(I said not now, stripe-butt!)"

"CALVIN!" Hobbes pointed behind him.

"WHAT?!" Calvin bitterly spun around… his eyes going wide when he saw WG and Fanatic looming over him. "…oh."

***BOOT!***

"YEEEEOOOOOOW!" Calvin and Hobbes screamed once they were kicked out of the House of Mouse.

"Sheesh, cameos- always gotta crash a party," WG scoffed.

"Wow, who would have guessed it was a six-year-old brat and a stuffed tiger trying to freak us out?" Max said.

"At least the guests are relieved, now." Minnie said. "They're still not too sure how well you'll work out, but I think if you keep up the effort- and stop brawling so much- they'll start to like you."

"I'm sure they will… after all, it's only Chapter 2," Fanatic said with a shrug.

"Yep, so far, we're off to a good start," WG said, then rubbed her chin. "Though… why do I get the feeling we've forgotten something?"

*o*

_Meanwhile outside…_

"Hey!" Pete called from underneath the safe. "Someone get this thing off me already!"

*o*

"Ah, probably wasn't important," Fanatic replied.

Mickey stood onstage. "Thank you all for coming. See you all again real soon!" he called. All the guests left, though not many acknowledged the authors…

…at least, almost no one. "Thanks for getting rid of that skull," Mowgli said to them. "You guys are pretty cool."

WG and Fanatic looked at each other smiled. If one Disney star saw some good in them, chances were the rest would too, soon enough.

**End of Episode 1**

*o*

A/N: Next episode, Calvin and Hobbes attempt to sneak back in… along with some so-called 'princesses' who may cause trouble.

Please review. No flames or I shall put on the skull mask and haunt your dreams until the end of time.


	3. Ep 2, Rip Off Princess Prima Donnas

**This chapter (and possibly some future chapters) was written by Fanatic97. Thanks for the help, man!**

Disclaimer: We still own nothing!

*o*

It was our average normal night at the House of mouse…well okay normal meaning the place had yet to be blown into a thousand bits and pieces.

Inside the Club everything was running fine as usual…okay so O'Mally and the Ally Cats got cancelled again, but that was expected nowadays by well…pretty much everyone.

All the guests were having a GREAT time, chatting, socializing, and brawling…on the off chance that Pain and Panic annoyed Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum…again.

"We're telling you OUR MOVIE IS…" Snapped Twiddle Dee.

"…Better than yours by a long shot!" ended Twiddle Dum . "In fact, yours has been considered…"

"…One of Disney's worst EVER, and that is saying something considering the sequels!" ended Twiddle Dee.

"OH YEAH?" Snapped Panic. "Well, at least OURS wasn't replaced by a TIM BUTRON AND JOHNNY DEPP FLICK!"

"You take that back!" Dee and Dum yelled out.

"NEVER!" Pain and Panic replied.

They both lunged at each other, with the intent to tear the other Limb from Limb. Until that is, Out of Nowhere.

"**SMASH!" **

"**CRASH!" **

All four of them were laying on the ground, Pain and Panic, hit with a baseball bat, and Dee, and Dum had been hit with a shovel.

Fanatic looked at WG. "I TOLD Mickey that he should buy us tasers!" he snapped.

WG looked back at him. "Yeah well he said that they were too violent." she scoffed.

Belle, who had been sitting next to the fight, was staring at them. "And what you guys just did wasn't violent?" she questioned, arching an eyebrow.

WG looked at Belle, and her eyes swelled up at the fact that she was speaking to her, but Fanatic shoved her aside and spoke for her.

"Well Mickey said keep the peace in the club, and we are. " he said, earning a glare from his co-author.

Just then, Goofy, walked into the Fanatic shaped hole from the last episode. "YAHOWIE!" He yelled out.

WG and Fanatic looked at each other and then Fanatic said, "Your turn this time WG."

The Authoress groaned as she grabbed a fishing rod and then reeled goofy out of the hole.

As she did this, and Fanatic dragged Pain, Panic, Dee and Dum, out of the club. Club rules state that brawling isn't allowed after what happened with Chernabog and Zeus, of which they are not allowed to talk about it., Mickey leapt up on stage to do the intro.

"And now your host, the biggest eared, friendliest Mouse you'll ever meet, MICKEY MOUSE!" Mike yelled out.

As he said this, Mickey Mouse Leapt out onto the stage. "Ha, Ha, Evening Everyone, tonight we've got something REALLY juicy up our sleeves."

As he said this, he lowered his arm, and a galleon of Orange Juice fell out of the sleeve and burst all over the stage.

Mickey, stared at the jug then he blushed. "Heh, heh… just a little humor on my part folks. Anyway, tonight is, Adaptation Night!"

As he said this, on the screen, appeared The Duck Knight Returns Comic Book Cover Image., followed by the Ducktails Comic Book Cover Rightful Owners.

"So sit back Everyone as we revisit both Duckburg, and ST Canard ALL IN ONE NIGHT!"

Mickey, then ran off Stage, as Rightful Owners began playing, and Found WG in the back. "WG, security Report?"

WG, snapped off a salute like a sailor, and then began speaking in a gruff sailor voice.

"COMMANDER MICKEY SIR! NO SIGNS OF UNAUTHORIZED PERSONEL OR GUESTS SIR! ONLY BREACH IN SECRUITY WAS A BRAWL BETWEEN TWO SIDE KICKS FROM HERCULES AND ALICE IN WONDER LAND, THE NINETEN- FIFTY ONE!"

Mickey gave a blank stare at her. "You know how much I hate that."

WG looked at him. "Really? Fanatic told me that you loved it."

Mickey groaned, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. Just then, Minnie ran in. "Mickey, are Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan, and Jasmine present in the club?"

Mickey looked at her. "I think so, why do you ask?"

Minnie looked at him, and then put her hand to her chin. "Well,"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o

"Come on." A whiney female voice moaned to Fanatic. "You have to let us in."

Fanatic stared at the newcomers. Three of them looked like Cinderella, Snow White, and Jasmine, the one that looked like Jasmine was the most accurate, but it was also inaccurate as well.

The Other one was this Chinese looking little girl that looked like she was trying to pull off a Mulan, but failing …..Miserably.

"FOR THE LAST TIME NO!" Fanatic Snapped. The one that looked like Jasmine looked up at him.

"Oh Come on you have to believe us, we ARE Cinderella, Snow White, Jasmine, and Mulan, we just got turned into little kids!"

Fanatic stared blankly at them. "I'll believe it, when a Transformers Show gets a FULL fourth season."

At that, the one that looked like Cinderella, pulled out an Ipad rip off, and then searched up . "OFFICIAL!" Fanatic snapped once again. The Girl put her Ipad knock off back.

Mickey, Minnie, WG, and Goofy, who was still attached to the fishing line, came running up to them.

"Alright what is the problem here?" Mickey asked. Then he saw the girls. "And who are they?"

Before any of them could say more than we, Fanatic spoke up. "Cindy, Bianca, Hemi, and Zagi."

Mickey looked at him. "Who?"

"A group of Knockoffs of Disney Princesses. There movie, Little Princess School, is infamous on the Internet."

WG stared at him. "You mean to tell me that you watched a Movie called Little Princess School willingly?"

Fanatic cringed. "Eew, to heck no! I found a commentary on it! They also did _the Magic_ _Voyage _and _the Animated Titanic_ Movies." He looked back at the girls. "They just tired to get into the Club, by pretending to be Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan, and Jasmine, there is also a Tiana Knockoff, but I do not see her."

Minnie, looked at him. "How did those two Comic Characters get in again?" she asked.

"The Vents but I got something up there for them." WG said, smirking.

Right as she said this, Calvin and Hobbes were heard screaming, as a pack of Rabid Calvin and Hobbes Fan girls chased them off the Roof and Down the Street. "NO! NO! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR COOTIES! MOMMY!" Calvin screamed.

"I always dreamed of being chased by girls, but this is ridiculous!" Hobbes cried.

Everyone stared after them. "They have Fan girls?" Max asked.

"Yep, Shocked me too." Replied WG.

Mickey walked ahead of everyone and looked at the four look a likes. He wanted to be fair, and not harsh. "Alright you can come in." he said.

"WHAT!?" Everyone else cried out.

"YAY!" The Girls shouted.

"If you can answer these Questions correctly." Mickey ended. He then pointed at Cindy. "How Long was Cinderella's Running time and what year was it released. "

Cindy looked at him, and then gulped. "Um, The Running time is an…Hour and Fifty Minutes, and the year was, um, 1984?"

"Nope sorry, the Answer was, One Hour and Fourteen Minutes, and the year was 1950."

"But that's not fair!" Snapped Cindy.

"Well if you were Cinderella you would know that." He then Moved onto Bianca. "Which Came First: Fantasia, Snow White, or Me?"

Bianca, looked at him, mumbling for a second, she responded with, "Umm, Snow White?"

"Oh, I'm Sorry, It was me."

"Ego Answer." Muttered WG. Minnie kicked her in the knee. "OUCH! "

Mickey then moved onto Zagi. "Who was Jafar's partner?"

"Um… Starscream?" Zagi answered, dumbly.

Mickey looked at her dead panned. "We do not even own Starscream's name!"

Fanatic looked at him. "Well she was close, both his Generation One incarnation and Iago's voice sound like someone who sucked on Helium for several years is just now getting their voice back to normal."

"I HEARD THAT!" Iago yelled, who was flying past.

Mickey, then Moved onto the last one Hemi. "What was the name of your Dragon Partner?"

"Eww, Dragons are gross." Hemi sneered.

At that point, she was suddenly scorched by fire. Everyone looked up to see a Large Metallic Dragon fly overhead, it screeched as it flew off into the night.

Fanatic triedd to charge on after it, but was caught by WG. "You can chase him down and get him to sign your MISB Version of his figure later Fanatic." she said.

"MISB, I NEVER LEAVE MY TRANSFORMERS MISB! I want his Autograph!" Fanatic wailed.

Wg looked at him. "And to think you had to do this to me in the first Episode.'"

Mickey looked at them. "Well then, I'm sorry girls, but you can't come in, Disney Characters allowed only at this point and time." he told the girls.

Cindy looked at him angrily. "JUST YOU WAIT, WE SHALL RETURN AND GET INTO THIS CLUB!" She snapped. And then with them all, carrying Hemi, they…bounced on their butts, away.

Everyone stared after them, and WG let Fanatic go….Big mistake as he took off down the street running like the Road runner.

Soon everyone was looking after him. Goofy chuckled. "Wow, he sure can run fast, and uh, why did we kick out Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan, and Jasmine again?" he asked, not knowing the other girls were actually fakes.

"I'll explain later." WG said. "Right now I've got to stop Fanatic before he-"

Off in the Distance, a crashing sound was heard Followed by a roar. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" a voice yelled out.

"JUST SIGN THE STINKING PAPER!" Fanatic's voice called. WG sighed and then took off running down the street.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o

Meanwhile with the Knockoffs they arrived at a ally way, where their friend Iria, a Tiana Rip off, with an Afro, was waiting.

"Well how did it go?" she asked.

"Not good." Zagi, replied. "They kicked us out, by making us answer very hard questions."

"Do not worry girls, I have a plan." Cindy said. "We must not give up, we will show that we can rise above the rest of the low life's who try to break in, and GET INTO THAT CLUB!

"But how?" Asked Bianca, They have tight Security."

"Remind me again did you just vie up or were you kicked out?" Iria asked.

"Okay so we gave up, but they sicked a giant Robo Dragon on US!"

"Maybe we could hire a lawyer."

"SO what, we are going up against Disney, they can sue us back, and then take away EVERYTHING!"

"Come on girls, I know a way, all we have to do is just trust me." Cindy said. "Besides we always get what we want/need/have to do, we do it all the time in our movie!"

She's right, it does happen a lot." Zagi, said.

"Come one girls let's get a move on!" Cindy said.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Max stared at the singed Fanatic, who clutched a piece of paper, that was mostly burned and scratched.

"Um Fanatic, you know he didn't sign it right?"

"WHO CARES MAX, HE STILL CLAWED AT IT AND BREATHED FIRE ON IT!" he exclaimed.

WG sighed. "I'll go check the perimeter."

"Um Shouldn't Fanatic do that?" Max asked.

"Well, he's going all Fanboy over some burnt paper, so I would hate to spoil his moment."

"Yes but, Mickey said HE patrols inside after what happened when you did it."

"All I wanted was to borrow and test out Jafar's snake-staff on my hyperactive nieces." WG said Lamely. "Besides it still wasn't THAT BAD."

"Then Explain why LAUNCHPAD MCQUACK is staying away for a few weeks due to some Mental and Emotional Problems."

"… No Comment." WG said. "But I promise Max, it will not be that bad this time."

She walked into the club, and then made her way to the entrance of the kitchen.

As she walked into the door, she heard a voice.

"Hey Security guard!"

WG looked up, to see Cindy, holding some Boiling Water in a pan, and then she proceeded to dump it on her.

"YEOW! YOU LITTLE BRAT! THAT BURNS!" WG cried, as she stumbled Backwards.

As she stumbled, She fell over a bean placed by Hemi, and then fell into a crate, which then, Bianca's Animal Friends carried it off into the prop Basement Staircase landing, and then ran back into the club, and then slammed the door shut.

"Well, this is a problem." WG put bluntly.

"Speak for yourself, I've been living in this crate for a few years now, and you're the first person to ever find me, now, want to help me Review Escape from Planet Earth?" a certain Bum asked.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o

Meanwhile, at the Club Entrance, the Five Knock Offs, were about to go in. "This is t girls, our moment of truth, once we go in, we make HISTORY!" Cindy said.

"EEEEE!" The other girls said. And then….bounced in.

Iago, looked around, half expecting to see either WG or Fanatic walk past, he hoped for the latter, when he saw Zagi. He blinked and then Rubbed his eyes. "Am I seeing double?" He asked, then looked at Jasmine and then he noticed that Abu, was giving him the same look.

"You thinking What I'm thinking Monkey?" Iago asked him.

"Ummm." Abu said, then Shrugged.

"Alright, Get me Mushu, Cricket, Ray, Louis, and Rajah, I'll go round up Jaq, Gus , and the Rest of the Animals."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o

The Knockoff's bounced around, giggling and laughing.

"I can't Believe that no one has spotted us yet." Zagi said.

"That's why were keeping to the back," Said Cindy. "We don't want anyone seeing us."

"Too late." Iago said.

They all looked up, to see the assorted Allies of Tiana, Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan, and Jasmine in front of them.

Mushu, breathed a breath of fire. "Alright girls, he/she who messes or infringes on my girls copyright, get a nice round of FLAME!"

"AHHHHHH!" The girls screamed and charged out the door, with them all following.

Tiana, Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan and Jasmine stared after them, from their Respective Tables.

Tiana looked at them. "I don't know about you girls, but I think that it's weird that despite them SOUNDING scared, they NEVER stopped Smiling. "

Mulan cringed. "Ugh tell me about it, and my own Knock off, couldn't even open her eyes."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o

The Knock off's ran, as fast as they could, which isn't saying much considering that they were bouncing on their butts.

As they ran, they came to end as a door to the Prop Room was flung open, out First came Chester. A. Bum.

"LOOOK OUT CRAZY WOMAN ON THE LOOSE!" He cried as he ran. Out next came WG.

She was red in the Face, her eyes LITERALLY had fire in them, steam was pouring from her Nostrils, Flaming Ear wax Spewed from her Ears, and Molten Lava seeped through her teeth.

The Princess Knock Off's looked around, Animals to the South, WG to the North, Mickey, Minnie, and the Still; brunt Fanatic to the Right, and…Chester . A/ Bum Waving hello to the left.

"Gulp." They all said.

"**POW!"**

IN less than a Second they had been booted from the Club.

WG, and Fanatic both watched them go/bounce away screaming and crying.

Fanatic looked at her. "Yeesh, I would hate to see you REALLY get Angry."

As he said this, WG whipped away the Ketchup from her teeth, and Removed the Flame Throwers from behind her ears., and then pulled out the contacts with Holographic fire on them out of her eyes.

Max sighed. "Well at least nothing Relatively REALLY bad happened here tonight."

Inside Goofy walked with a Hundred Plates full of Bugs. "Okay who ordered the Bug Special!?" He called out.

"OOH, THAT'S US!" Timon called out.

"All Right then!" Goofy said, and then fell into the Hole Once again.

"YAHOWIE!" As he did, the Plates full of Bugs flew into the air.

"Huh Boy." Said Timon, and then Hid Behind Pumba.

**CRASH!" **

From inside could be heard screaming and yelling from all the Bugs landing on everyone and Everything.

"Your Turn Fanatic." WG said. Fanatic groaned, as he grabbed some Bug Spray, and a Fishing Rod, and then Ran inside the Club.

**End of Episode 3**

*o*

A/N: Special thanks goes to Fanatic for this chapter. No flames or the knock-offs come back! (okay we're not THAT cruel, but it won't be pretty!)


	4. Ep 3, Babysitting Pains EDITED

We do not own the House of Mouse, or Any Characters used here… (And thank God that only Disney owns Baby Shelby)

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was yet another average night in Toontown…..in fact it was less average, only three buildings had blown up that day. (This meant poor business for the competing Construction Companies in Toon Town.)

At Disney's House of Mouse things were working out as usual… actually not, no one had shown up to cause trouble, the Villains were behaving after what happened with WG and the blender, and Fanatic and the missile launcher, and the cartoons were some new ones as well.

(Rumor has it that in order for them to be, Mickey hired some Authors)

Meanwhile outside the club, our Favorite,(COUGH COUGH!), Authors were standing Outside with Max, as these Episodes shall Probably begin to start out now.

Fanatic was moving one of his arms in a swishing motion. "THIS IS HOW A WIND SHEILD WIPER WORKS, Swish!"

"Oh." Said WG, who then took notes in a tiny notepad.

Max stared at them incredulously. "What are you guys doing?"

"Killing time until the Plot shows up." WG responded, and then she proceeded to hit a watch with a mallet with the word Plot on it.

"Let's hope that speeds up the Process, if not then maybe someone shall make a cameo."

Suddenly "HEY YOU TWO SECURITY GUARDS!" A voice yelled blowing both WG and Fanatic into a wall.

"Hey it DID WORK!" Fanatic cheered as they peeled themselves off of the wall.

They both looked up to see Mrs. Turtle, and in her arms was her son Baby Shelby.

"Oh no," Max groaned. "Not her again."

Mrs. Turtle ignored him and then walked over to WG, plopping Shelby down in her arms.

"I'm going into the club to have a good time, but my little baby Shelby doesn't want to go inside with me, so YOU TWO have to watch him."

"US?!" Cried WG. "Why us?! Why can't you just hire a baby sitter?! I took this job to get OUT of babysitting!"

"BECAUSE I DON"T TRUST PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW!" Mrs. Turtle yelled.

"But… you don't know us." Fanatic pointed out.

"Yes, but you two are SECURITY GUARDS, thereby I can trust you both with my son- OTHERWISE IT MEANS AN EARLY GRAVE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!" Then she patted Shelby on the head. "Be good sweetie, oh and remember, if anyone harms him in anyway, then this club is gonna be looking for two Security guards!"

And with that she stomped off into the club.

The authors looked down at Shelby, who looked at them and then began pointing and laughing.

"Well sucks to be you WG, I'm off to patrol the Perimeter." Fanatic said, and then tried to make a run for it.

"UH NO!" WG cried and then grabbed Fanatic's shirt collar. "You're sticking around here!"

"But YOU'RE a professional babysitter, you can handle this!" Fanatic yelled out in Retaliation.

"Too bad, so sad, you're staying- otherwise you can kiss your Transformers cameos goodbye." WG said, and then plopped Fanatic back outside.

Baby Shelby, began laughing his head off. "Yeah, Yuck it up you little squirt." Fanatic grumbled.

"This sucks… What could be worse?"

Calvin and Hobbes then came up, a wagon full of water-balloons. "Alright, guys, we demand entrance into the club, otherwise you'll be soaked until the year 2020!" the six-year-old demanded.

Fanatic arched an eyebrow. "She said what could be WORSE, not what could be more annoying." he said.

"Ooooh, stuck babysitting that bratty little turtle, huh?" Hobbes asked, in which Shelby blew a raspberry at him.

WG looked at Shelby. "Well on the Plus side, we have both seen the Cartoons with him, so that means that we KNOW he will try to escape and that way we can counter act him."

Then, Shelby reached into his shell, and then held something up over his head.

"Where did you get that Grand Piano?" WG asked.

"CRASH!"

"AH, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Shelby laughed as he ran inside.

The two authors burst from the Piano, and then Fanatic screamed, "GET BACK HERE OR SO HELP ME, I'LL TURN YOU INTO SOUP!"

And with that they ran off after him.

Max looked at Calvin and Hobbes. "Um, are you going to help them?" he asked.

"Why should we?" Calvin said, snobbishly.

"Maybe if we help them, they'll let us into the club." Hobbes suggested.

Before Calvin could reply, WG ran back, and then dragged them away.

"…Plus I don't think we have much of a choice."

0o0o0o0op0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o

Inside the Club, Mickey was on stage preparing for the next Cartoon.

"Alright everyone, put your hands, Tentacles, Hooves Paws, and Feet together it's time for a another Cartoo-"

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!"

"OUT OF THE WAY BOSS!"

SMACK!

Mickey stumbled up after getting run over by WG, dragging Fanatic.

"uhh, give it up for a Donald Cartoon." He then passed out on the stage.

"HIT IT HORACE!" Minnie yelled as she ran to drag Mickey off stage.

Up in the Sound booth, Horace, rolled up his sleeve.

"HORACE PPPPUUUUUNNNCH!", Yelled out the Projector as he punched it, causing a giant flash of light, as the Cartoon played on the screen.

Minnie dragged Mickey backstage, as Shelby ran past.

…Followed by WG, who had just let go of Fanatic.

"GET BACK HERE!" She called out.

Fanatic walked up to Minnie.

Minnie looked at him. "Let me Guess, Mrs. Turtle didn't want to hire a babysitter again?"

"Yep." Fanatic said, rubbing his head.

"And what doesn't/ does want to happen to Shelby this time?"

"Get injured."

Donald, who had been watching sighed. "Phew, at least it's not me this time."

"OUTTA THE WAY DONALD!"

CRASH!

"AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHH A"

Donald now lay on the Floor, flatter than Jeff Globules acting.

"Oh phooey, spoke too soon."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Calvin and Hobbes chased Shelby into the kitchen, where they had seen him coming.

"Come on Shelby where are you, Mommy's going to be upset if you get hurt, and then we're going to get hurt worse if she hurts the authors," Calvin whispered.

"Yeah, kid… it ain't worth the suicidal stunts- take it from a tiger who gets dragged into them." Hobbes said.

Calvin gave him a look. "What's THAT supposed to mean?!"

Hobbes looked up, and then saw Shelby standing on a cabinet, about to jump into a sink, that was full of Knives. "GAH! THERE HE IS!"

Calvin gasped, and then almost tore his own face off as he jumped.

"HA HA HA HA HA!" Shelby laughed.

Calvin Dove forward, and then jumped onto the counter, butt landing in the sink. His hands raised out to catch Shelby, who landed safely in Hobbes arms as the tiger ran next to the sink, having stretched them over the sink so to avoid getting stabbified. "Whew! That was close."

Shelby laughed and then looked at Calvin, a look of sheer pain on his face. He then laughed, and then hopped out of Hobbes' hands and then took off running again.

"I hate that kid." Calvin said through his teeth, as he ran off after him, at the same time pulling knives out of his…you know what. "…just end scene and go to the next.. END SCENE DANG IT!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o

Shelby laughed as he ran up the stairs and to the catwalks above the club. He looked down and saw the tables with toon characters.

HE then climbed u onto the railings and then began to saw back and Forth.

WG, ran up onto the catwalks which began to shake. She gasped as Shelby began to act like he was going to fall.

"AH, NO DON'T!" She cried running toward him.

Shelby jumped off, and WG jumped to grab him, only then Noticing WHAT side he jumped onto, and she went sailing over the railing.

She looked back at Shelby who waved and then laughed. "I HATE YOU!" She yelled as she crashed into a table.

She looked up and saw Mrs. Turtle.

"And how is my little baby doing?"

"Just Fine, Mrs. T, I'm just handling a little Security Problem., that's all."

"WHO CARES ABOUT THE SECURITY GET BACK TO MY BABY OR ELSE!"

WG was then blown onstage by the scream.

She looked at the Audience, and then chuckled weakly.

"Um… AND NOW A GOOFY CARTOON!" And then she ran off stage.

Minnie, who was still trying to Revive Mickey yelled out, "HORACE!"

WG charged backstage, and then saw, much to her dismay, Shelby….about to stick a fork into an electrical socket.

"GET AWAY FROM THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE REPTILE!" She yelled out, right as she grabbed the fork and then shoved it into the socket.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" WG screamed and lit up like a Christmas Tree on fire.

"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Shelby laughed, and then proceeded to grab two wires out of the nearest Power box.

As WG stopped being electrified she groaned, and Fanatic ran over. "The ol' fork in the electric socket gag again?" he asked.

"Just… go… get… that…. kid…" WG growled, standing up. "I gotta go chip off my burnt skin."

Fanatic turned to look at the reader. "I know what's going to happen, and you know what's going to happen, but if I don't do this he will harm himself… and it would kill the slapstick."

He ran onto the roof, and found Shelby, about to jump off the building. He turned and then waved Bye Bye.

Fanatic sighed, and then ran towards him, and then… as expected, he stepped aside and he went sailing over the edge.

"Thank goodness I am on Cartoon Logic!" Fanatic yelled out, as he hit the pavement, with enough force to actually cause some of it to collapse into the sewers.

"HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!"

Fanatic got up, and then stormed into the building. Max watched him go in, and blinked. "I should help, but my insurance wouldn't cover it." he said to the reader.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o

Shelby ran into the club itself, and then hid under a table, where Mulan and Sheng were sitting.

Mulan, feeling Shelby on her foot, looked under the table, just as Calvin crashed into her foot.

"AH!" Mulan yelled out, drawing out her feet. Calvin looked up at her. "Sorry." And then he saw Shelby, going onto captain Hook's seat, and then sitting next to his side.

"Ah Mr. Smee, are the crew behaving themselves, as to not break any rules?" He said Nervously.

"Oh course captain, no rule breaking here." Smee said.

"Excellent, with any luck we shalt have to put up with any funny goings on with those two "Security Guards" as Mickey calls them."

He said this, right as Hobbes crashed into his side.

"AH SMEE, A TIGER IS TRYING TO KILL ME! SAVE ME SMEE!"

Everyone looked towards both Raja and Sher Kahn "Don't look at us!" Sher Kahn snapped.

"Sorry, Mr. Hook." Hobbes said

"SORRY? SORRY!? You just VIOLATED MY PERIMETER I SHOULD CUT YOU DOWN TO SIZE!"

HE then drew his sword and then pointed it at Hobbe's throat.

Calvin then popped up. "HEY, LOOK! Jack Sparrow is winning the 'Greatest Pirate Of All Time' award!" he shouted, pointing in some random direction.

"WHAT?!" Captain Hook turned, giving the two cartoons a chance to amscray.

They checked, under Chernaboug's foot, inside Gaston's gun, King Triton's beard, The Reluctant Dragon's mouth, Under Ursula's tentacles, Behind, under and over, ALL 101 Dalmatians, Under Giselle's Wedding Dress (the thing could hold a circus) In Ralph's fist, Calhoun's blaster, Simba's mane, Genie's lamp, Jafar's hat, The Mad Hatters hat, one of Belle's books, inside the Beast's fur and even checked the Seven Dwarfs for an answer.

"WHERE IN THE WORLD IS HE!?" Calvin shouted.

"Where is who?"

Calvin looked and saw that he had been standing right next to Mrs. Turtle. "Oh, um Fanatic's pet cat Tiger, got lost. Hobbes and I are just looking for him."

"Ah… and do you know how well a job those security authors are doing with Shelby?"

"Um, we're too busy looking for the cat." Hobbes said meekly.

"WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAT MAKE SURE MY BABY IS SAFE!"

Calvin and Hobbes were blown clear…. Into a brick wall.

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH AHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHH!"

"GET BACK HERE!" Calvin shouted, and he and Hobbes pulled themselves off the wall and raced after the little shelled spawn of Hades.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o000o

Shelby, ran into the Prop basement, with WG and Fanatic following behind him.

"Come on Baby Shelby, Mommy will KILL us if this continues!" Fanatic called.

Shelby just laughed, and then he ran through the Wardrobes, and WG still ran after him, each time ending up in some Characters outfit.

Shelby, looked like a Monkey, and WG was dressed up like Jane, as they through a Tarzan set.

Another Wardrobe Run, she ended up looking like Magica, while Shelby looked like Mr. Poe.

Jessie, and Buzz, Kanga and Roo, Calhoun and Fix it Felix, Princess Lea, and Darth Vader, Darkwing and Gosalyn, Kim and Rufus, and so on and So Forth.

Soon, Shelby, who looked like some Weird Mix Between Piglet, Roo, Vader, Felix and a Monkey, stood atop a cliff of Assorted Props.

He looked down, and then grinned. He turned around and then saw WG, who looked like a strange Mix of All the Disney Princesses, Jane, Darkwing, Magica, Kim, as well has holding Jafar's Snake Staff Replica, running toward him.

"Hold it, let me take a picture!" Fanatic exclaimed, holding up his cell phone. The two paused, smiling, and he clicked a picture.

"Come on Shelby, Don't jump off the cliff, don't!" She cried out.

Shelby grinned at her and then jumped.

"NO!" Both yelled, and ran and leapt… only to see that he had grabbed onto a crate, safely, hanging on.

"Well, what am I falling into this time?" Fanatic asked. They looked down and saw…all the fireworks ever used by the Disney Parks.

"I REALLY HATE THAT BRAT!" WG yelled.

"DITTO!" Fanatic screamed.

BOOM!"

Shelby stood atop the "cliff" And Saluted like an American Soldier at the site of the Fireworks.

They all went off in bright Colors, that lit up the prop room beautifully.

WG, climbed back up the cliff, clothes shredded and Brunt, her Hair was charred black, and she was Covered in ash. Fanatic looked just the same.

Calvin and Hobbes came running in. "What smells like toast?" Hobbes asked.

"Drop dead, Hobbes." WG sneered.

"How the heck are we going to get that kid to behave?! He's uncontrollable!" Fanatic whined.

"Yeah, he's more trouble than I am- and that's really saying something!" Calvin added.

"I think I have a way." Hobbes said, then walked over to Baby Shelby, who was readying a crate of explosives. "Ahem."

Shelby looked at him.

"How about a deal, Shelby? You behave, and you can go riding downhill in a wagon with Calvin all summer, and you can steer him off a cliff."

"WHAT?!" Calvin shouted.

Shelby rubbed his chin, mockingly considering it.

Hobbes held up a giant lollipop. "I'll give you candy, too."

"Ha ha ha!" Shelby laughed, then jumped into the tiger's arms.

"See? Simple."

The two authors and Calvin stared, then collapsed.

Hobbes sighed. "Some people just can't handle kids."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Later Mrs. Turtle had come backstage to collect her son.

"WEHRE IS HE!?" She yelled.

Max raised his arms up. "In My defense, you need to hire an actual babysitter!" he whimpered.

Just then, the Prop room door burst open, and our heroes trudged out, Hobbes carrying baby Shelby, who was unharmed.

But Fanatic, WG, and Calvin looked like a mess, as stated before, they were burnt, and charred, covered in bandages, one each of their eyes was black, their hands had a large amount of Paper cuts on them, and for some reason an entire tree was in Calvin's hair…somehow.

"OH MY LITTLE BABY THNAK GOODNESS YOUR ALRIGHT!" Mrs. Tuttle Cried happily.

They collapsed onto the ground. Again.

"Oh thank you for taking care of my baby so well, in fact I'm going to make you his official baby sitter every time I come here!"

Wg looked up, her eyes wider than the moon. "Do we at least get paid?" she asked.

"NO, BABYSITTERS DO NOT NEEED MONEY THEY SHOULD FEEL GOOD JUST FOR DOING A GOOD JOB!"

"Tell that to Rosalyn," Calvin scoffed.

And with that Mrs. Turtle left the Club.

WG's right eye began twitching. And then her face went red.

"Uh, oh… I've seen her this way when her sister ticked her off after babysitting!" Hobbes yelped.

"Oh GOSH, HIT THE DECK!" Yelled Fanatic, who then ran into a closet.

Mickey's eyes went wide, and then he dragged Minnie off to his dressing room.

They shut the door just in time.

(a/n: We had to censor out my outburst because it included a lot of naughty language.)

Outside the Club, the glass in the doors shattered, and they fell down, the tables tipped over inside the club, the screen cracked, Doors were blown apart, the wall paper cracked and peeled, The pipes burst, and goofy fell into the Fanatic shaped hole… again

Fanatic, Mickey and Minnie stared at the Devastation that had been caused, and then they dare to look at WG.

The area around her had no color what so ever, it had all been scared away by her scream, and what was left was a cracked damaged mass of Black and White. Calvin and Hobbes were imprinted into the wall, Hobbes' stripes blown off and Calvin in his underwear.

WG still looked the same as before, except now she had calmed down.

"If anyone needs me, I'm going to be napping." she said.

And with that she trudged away.

Then Daisy walked in. "What the heck Happened Mickey, it looks like a nuclear scream bomb went off, and the Magic Mirror's glass is cracked."

"Daisy, from now on, put in regulations that parents who bring their own children into the club are to keep an eye on them at ALL TIMES… and unattended children will be sent to Never Land." Mickey groaned, then went back to the stage.

"Why?"

"Lets just say… babysitting is NOT REQUIRED A SECURITY GUARD'S JOB!" Fanatic shouted, then walked off. "I'm going to go take a nap too. Hold my calls."

"…can we come into the club since we were a big help?" Hobbes asked.

"Well… just for tonight, just to pay you back for all you've gone through."

Calvin and Hobbes whooped and ran in. "At last, we're finally going to hang out in the-" Calvin began.

"Thanks for coming everybody! See you again next week!" Mickey announced, then the clubs lights went out, signifying it was closed.

Calvin's eyes went wide, and Hobbes gulped. "Wuh-oh, not again!" he said, then grabbed Calvin and put him inside a sound-sealed glass dome. From the way the six-year-old was thrashing and yelling, Hobbes should be given a Medal of Honor for sparing everyone from another conniption explosion. Once Calvin had calmed down, Hobbes took him out. "C'mon, bud, lets go home. We'll try again next week."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Are you sure he will be safe in here?" Mrs. Turtle asked a couple days later. They were all standing outside a building across the street from the club, titled 'Neverland Play House, Open 24 Hours.'

"Of Course Mrs. Turtle just drop him into the slide, and he will go right to the play area- our kiddy-club is the safest place around." Daisy said.

Mrs. Turtle, put Shelby in the slide, and he slid into the play area. "Oh thank you, now I don't have to worry about other people taking care of him."

If looks could kill she would have been killed by Donald, Fanatic and WG.

"Well," Daisy said. "It looks like we will have no more troubles with Shelby."

"Thank goodness." Fanatic, WG and Donald said, right as Shelby reveled that he had crawled up the slide, and was now running off into the club!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAH!" He laughed as he ran off.

Everyone gaped, then slapped their foreheads. "Anyone got the number for Child Services?" WG asked.

"Should we go after him? I mean, Mrs. Turtle will kill us!" Fanatic stammered.

"Nah… all children are under the responsibility of the owners of THIS place,"

Right as she said that, the cast of Jimmy Two-Shoes came running out. "Ah, man! I TOLD you guys running a 24-Hour daycare was a stupid idea!" Heloise snapped.

"Well, don't just stand there, we've got to stop that kid before his mom finds out!" Jimmy exclaimed. "Lets go!"

"Can't we get a snack first?" Beezy asked, and Heloise dragged him off.

Everyone looked at WG. "Meh. Wanted to give them a cameo. Lets go eat." she said, then skipped off (omg it's the apocalypse, she's skipping! aaaggh!)

They all shrugged. Baby Shelby then popped up and slapped a sticker on the screen that said:

END.

0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0

A/N: *No authors were harmed during the making of this fic… but if you're wondering why Turtle Soup is on the menu, don't think too hard*

Review. Flame and you experience a fate worse than death- in other words, babysitting Shelby.


	5. Ep 4, The One With The Chicken

GEEZ, sorry for the long wait, guys! But, here's the new chapter of Security Authors! And with April Fool's Day not too far off, here's an episode full of random laughs for you all.

Disclaimer: CONFOUND IT! WE STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING! GAAAAHHHH!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was yet ANOTHER typical night at the House of Mouse- Guests came, Mickey hosted a few cartoons, O'Maly and the Ally Cats failed to show up again, and Goofy goofed up during his shift again, this time spilling water on Hades' head when he was flirting with Maleficent, putting out that flame of hair of his and making him look ridiculous in front of the villainess.

With our two security authors, everything was going well… though WG was still sore from the last chapter, which was undergoing an immediate rewrite. "Oh c'mon, WG, watching Baby Shelby on your own wasn't that bad, was it?" Fanatic asked.

WG gripped him by the throat. "You'll find out once YOU participate!" she snarled.

Fanatic gulped. "But… won't the readers who haven't read it yet get confused after reading this?"

"They'll just have to deal with it- half of this plot is confusing anyway."

"Eh, true. Speaking of which, what's in store for everyone in this chapter? (Please don't let it be Baby Shelby, please don't let it be Baby Shelby…)"

"Ah, don't worry about it, Fanatic- I convinced Mrs. Turtle that spending lots of time with her child was required in parenthood in order for them to grow up to be successful and caring."

"And she believed it?"

"Yep. I used Max as an example of such parenting from Goofy- who we all can agree is one of the best fathers in the cartoon world. …And when that didn't work, I showed her an example of what happens when parents don't spend enough time with their kids."

"What example was that?"

"Calvin."

"HEY!" came an offensive shout from a certain comic-character. "I RESENT THAT!"

"PIPE DOWN, CALVIN! YOU'RE NOT IN THIS CHAPTER!"

"Why not?" Fanatic asked.

"Oh the script called for a new set of cameos from different cartoon industries."

Fanatic gasped excitedly. "You mean we finally got the rights to include the Marvel Avengers in our story?"

WG looked at him weird. "No… but I'm still talking to my agent about it."

Fanatic arched an eyebrow. "Who's your agent?"

(Quick glimpse of the authoress' kitty sitting on a desk wearing a tie, licking her paws while the phones are ringing)

He slapped his forehead. "I'm sorry I asked."

"Yeah? Who's YOUR agent?" WG scoffed.

(We get a view of the co-author's kitty sitting at a desk, sleeping while the phones are ringing)

Fanatic blinked. "Nevermind." he said quickly. "So… when's the plot going to begin?"

"You know the story." WG answered sighing… while a chicken was walking by. "We spend the time making up filler with one-liners that people will probably use themselves, until something… did a chicken just walk into the club?"

Fanatic looked over, seeing that, indeed, a chicken was walking in, passing Donald. "Must be tonight's dinner special."

"C'mon, we'd better grab it," They ran inside, seeing that the chicken was sitting on Daisy's desk, as she was looking through her autograph book, while Donald was trying to learn how to work a touch-screen iphone.

"Darn these things…" Donald grumbled, trying to put in numbers for his contact list, but instead kept pulling up annoying apps that were all over the screen. "Grrrr!"

"Hey, someone grab that chicken!" Fanatic called.

Daisy was still looking over the list of autographs she had received since the club opened. "Chicken? What chicken?" she asked.

"That chicken right on the desk!" WG said.

Donald and Daisy looked… but the chicken had disappeared without a trace. The two ducks arched eyebrows at the two authors. "Are you guys crazy? There's no chicken here!" Donald scoffed, then went back to working with his impossible phone.

"It must have wandered into the club,"

"I'll check around the dining area. You check the kitchen," Fanatic ordered.

"Oh, no way man! The last time I entered the kitchen, I got stabbed in the rear with knives, and the time before that, a snotty princess knock-off poured boiling water on my face, and the time before THAT, the chef whacked me with a frying pan! (though that was because I was trying to sneak some scones into my pockets)… Anyway, I'LL check the dining area, and YOU can check the kitchen!"

"Girl, please! Every time you're out in the dining area, you go all fan-crazy! …Or did you FORGET the night Jim Hawkins visited and you took his solar-surfer for a joyride?"

"Hey, he knows me personally!"

"…that would explain the restraining order against you," Daisy whispered.

"Alright, alright, alright, how about if we BOTH check the dining area?" WG suggested.

"Okay!" Fanatic agreed, and they rushed off.

"Wait, who's going to be guarding the door?!" Donald demanded.

"Don't worry, we've got it covered!"

(Two cardboard copies of WG and Fanatic are standing out front… one of them falls over.)

Daisy let out a heavy sigh while Donald only face-palmed, shaking his head. "Oh brother…" he muttered.

What no one noticed were three figures tip-toeing quickly into the club… BUT more on that later!

0o0o0o0o0o0

Through the vision of a pair of binoculars, we see a view of the dining area. "Anything yet?"

"I see Cruella measuring Scar for size… Bernard and Bianca are discussing their engagement with the mice from Cinderella… Shanti and Tiger Lilly looking at a magazine issue featuring the hottest Disney guys- HOLD IT! 'Aladdin no longer number one, replaced by Flynn Ryder'?! What kind of crap is that?!"

"Wherever Girl, FOCUS!"

"Oh, sorry… wait, I see it!" WG lowered her hands… which she was holding up like a pair of binoculars… and pointed ahead. "Over there, by Gaston's table!"

"Lets go!"

The chicken, indeed, was sitting at Gaston's table, pecking at some crackers that were placed by a large bowl of soup- oh you can tell where THIS will lead. "Yes, but it's true- no one can hunt like Gast-" the villain was boasting to the triplets that constantly surrounded him- with his nose high in the air proudly and the girls keeping their gazes on him, none of them noticed the chicken.

*CRASH! SPLOOSH!*

The authors had dove, trying to grab the chicken… but only ended up crashing on the table, splashing soup in Gaston's face. The chicken, who landed on the floor, only shook its feathers, then walked away. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Sorry, we're chasing after that chicken!" Fanatic answered, pointing to where the chicken last was, but once again disappeared.

"Are you crazy?!" One of the triplets snapped.

"There is no chicken here!" The second added.

"He's still gorgeous…" The third swooned, referring to Gaston.

"C'mon, it couldn't have gotten far!" WG said, and they took off.

Fanatic returned. "By the way, you have something on your face," he told Gaston, who only fumed.

"No one's going to kill those authors like Gaston!" The villain snarled, grabbing his gun and taking aim… but when he squeezed the trigger, it jammed. "Huh?"

Like your basic idiot, he looked into the barrel of the gun…

*BOOM!*

*SPLOT!*

…and out a pie in his face. Behind the booth, three silhouettes snickered, then snuck off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fanatic looked out from behind a door to the left, while WG looked out one to the right, and both went back in.

Fanatic then popped up from behind a crate while WG peeked out from a cardboard box, and both ducked back down.

WG rose out from a trap door, while Fanatic lowered himself upside-down from the ceiling… and fell to the floor with a thud. "Ow."

"What are we doing backstage, again?" WG asked.

"…filler." Fanatic answered, then pointed ahead. "HEY! There's the chicken, on stage!"

The chicken stood on stage- and surprisingly NO ONE noticed- just minding its own business.

They ran out, just as Mickey was stepping on… but WG tripped over a wire (typical) and fell in front of Fanatic, who tripped over her and both of them tumbled and rolled across the stage, crashing into Hewey, Dewey, and Louie's band equipment. "Uh… and now a Donald cartoon!" he announced, then stormed over to the authors. "What are you guys doing?!"

"There's a chicken loose in the club, it's on the stage!" WG answered, pointing over at the stage… but ONCE AGAIN the chicken had vanished!

"Are you crazy?! There isn't a chicken here! Now fix up this mess and get back to guarding the door- who knows what kind of kooks have snuck in!"

The two authors stood up. "The only thing that's gotten past us was that chicken. We'd better catch it before it makes us cause any more trouble!" Fanatic scoffed, brushing himself off.

"Yeah… we can get ourselves into trouble just fine," WG added, setting the drums back up, then the two authors went back to chicken-chasing.

One of the three figures rose up from behind the drums, then did that 'tiddy-boom' skit.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

All the staff gathered backstage minutes later in an important meeting. "Mickey, news on the street is that some hi-jinx have been going on!" Clarabelle stated. "Gaston was pied in the face, someone erased all 101 Dalmatians of their spots, put Sher Kahn's stripes on Mufasa, switched Jim Hawkins' solar surfer with Aladdin's flying carpet, snuck one of Yzma's animal potions into Grumpy's drink and made a monkey out of him, and took the headless horseman's head and replaced it with Cinderella's pumpkin!"

(We get a view of Gaston with pie-cream still on his face, 101 pure-white Dalmatians, Mufasa with tiger-stripes sitting beside a blank-orange Sher Kahn, Jim and Aladdin in crashed-positions with Carpet and a solar surfer beside them, a Grumpy-looking ape, and a regular pumpkin on the Headless Horseman's head- which suddenly turned into a carriage, crushing him).

"And someone raided all the desserts in the kitchen!" Goofy added.

"And have been messing with our instruments!" Hewey, Dewey, and Louie snapped.

"And doodled all over my autograph book!" Daisy growled, holding up her autograph book which was full of goofy-looking drawings.

"Who could be doing all of this?!" Minnie asked.

"A better question is, how did they get past those security guards?" Donald questioned.

"Better yet, how did they get past the security guards?" Goofy pondered, scratching his head.

"That's what I just said!"

"Where ARE Fanatic and WG, anyway?" Max demanded.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Meanwhile in the basement…_

"Marco!" WG called.

"Polo!" Fanatic responded, a way's off.

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Cluck!" went the chicken.

"THERE!" The two authors exclaimed, leaping to where the chicken was at-

*KONK!*

…their heads colliding when the chicken hopped down off the crate it was on, disappearing once again.

"Okay… time for plan 'B'…" Fanatic groaned.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Minutes later back upstairs, after creating a make-shift female chicken out of toilet paper, a waffle-cone, a feather-duster, and a pair of forks. The chicken walked by, and upon seeing there was a female chicken present…

…it kept on walking.

"Um, dude? I think the chicken is a female," WG said.

Fanatic slapped his forehead. "I knew I should have kept those blueprints for that make-shift rooster design!" he grumbled.

Mickey and Minnie came running up just then. "THERE you are! You guys had better get to work- someone, or something, has snuck into the club and is causing havoc!" Minnie ordered. "What have you been doing all night?!"

"Trying to catch that-" WG began to say, but paused, realizing the running gag. "Never mind. We're on it, Minnie! Just tell us what we're up against!"

"Whoever's been throwing pies, whistling at the Disney princesses, and doing all these insane tricks!"

The authors rubbed their chins, considering all these options… and the authoress gasped. "I think I know who it is!"

"The random chicken will have to wait!" Fanatic declared, and the authors got down to business.

"The random what?" Minnie questioned.

"Don't ask," Micky sighed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The three silhouettes were up in the rafters, preparing to drop a giant water-balloon on the Firebird…

"(ahem)" came a voice, and they looked over… seeing an incredible attractive harem girl with a veil over her face.

Two of the figures' tongues dropped out, their hearts pounded against their chests, and their eyeballs did flips. "Hel-LO nurse!" they exclaimed.

"Boys. Go fig," the third one sighed… then noticed a studly boy in a leather jacket, jeans, with a cap pulled over his face, standing next to the girl. "Hel-LO nurse!"

They all leaped-

*SLAM!*

The boy and girl- who were obviously WG and Fanatic in crafty disguises- slammed a crate over the three figures, then launched it out of the club and towards another studio. "Well, that oughtta keep them out for a while," Fanatic said, taking off the harem veil.

"Yeah. They weren't supposed to make a cameo until the end of the season," WG added, adjusting the leather jacket. "…Well, I'd better give Jim's outfit back to him. Any fan-girls hear he's standing around in his underwear, and we'll have to put up one heck of a fight to keep them out."

"Right, and I'd better put this outfit back in Jasmine's closet before she notices it's missing," Fanatic then paused. "Waaaaaaiiiiiiiiit a minute, WG… how come I had to dress up like a girl and you dressed up as a boy?!"

"Comedic twist?" WG shrugged.

"Oh. Okay. Speaking of comedic twists, here's another one…" Fanatic yanked a rope.

*WHAM!* an anvil fell on WG.

"…should've seen that coming…" WG groaned.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

After the club closed and the guests started to leave, the staff met up by the door. "So, who were those pranksters, anyway?" Daisy asked.

"That's for us and the reader to know, and you guys to not find out until the end of the season," WG answered, and everyone shook their heads.

"Well, see you guys next week," Fanatic said as he and WG began to walk out…

The chicken following them. This time, the staff noticed it. "Hey! Where'd that chicken come from?" Mickey asked.

Fanatic and WG looked behind them, just as the chicken walked passed them and out the door, looked at each other, and scratched their heads. "Are you guys crazy?" Fanatic scoffed.

"There's no chicken around here," WG answered.

With that, they left… leaving the others puzzled.

**End of episode 4**

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: *cluck*


	6. Ep 5a, WG the Host?

We still own nothing. On with the randomness!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

WG sighed as she stared at the sunset as night began to fall.

"Another day has passed us yet again, and now night has befallen us once more; A wondrous night as it usually is, as I now work at this workplace; the House of Mouse is where my paycheck resides, and it is here that I say farewell day, and hello night."

She looked over at Fanatic, who, along with Max, help up scorecards of 10's.

"Another great poem WG, at this rate you could get on stage at the club!" Max said.

WG's face turned red. "Ah come on guys. You know how well I do onstage- I panic without the right amount of rehearsal, not to mention I'm afraid of making an idiot of myself- like what always happens."

"Oh come on, so it's a bunch of Toons, what is the worst thing that can happen if you mess up?" Fanatic asked.

Tthat depends, remember YOUR attempt to provide entertainment a few nights ago?" Max asked. "If I remember, you did the Tapioca Dance, which involved you dancing in Tapioca, while covered in cheese."

"HEY IT GOT THEM LAUGHING!" Fanatic retorted.

"No, everyone wither passed out, went into shock, or vomited, the only one who laughed was was the March Hare and Mad Hatter… but that's only because they LAUGH AT EVERYTHING!"

"It's true Fantic, watch," WG said. "HEY GUYS," ,she shouted out to the two insane Wonderland characters.

"Yes?" Hatter asked, pouring some tea into a cup full of holes, having it pour through the holes and into several tiny cups beneath it.

"Waffles."

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH!" Hatter and the Hare guffawed.

"See Fantaic?" Max asked.

Fanatic only rolled his eyes.

x0x

Inside the club, everyone was seated and ready for the show to start, as Mike started it off.

"Get ready folks, because here he comes, the biggest eared, most famous mouse of all, MICKEY MOUSE!"

"Ha ha, hey there everyone, we've got a great show planned tonight, But first, here is a demonstration from our very own, Ludwig von-"

Suddenly, Gyro Gearloose ran on stage, and then whispered something into Mickey's ear.

Mickey's eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped. "Um sorry folks, it appears that Ludwig was just involved in an accident involving his piano, so it appears that he has sent Gyro in his place, so give it up for GYRO GEARLOOSE!"

The crowed, clapped awkwardly, at the sight of Gyro, walking on stage, with a large cylinder shaped machine, with a keyboard coming out of the right side.

"Hello everybody, the name's Gyro, and tonight I have a really great invention to show you, my teleporter device! Observe," he said. He then set an apple into the Machine. "I place the apple here into he teleporter, and then I come over here and type in where I want to send it."

He typed something into the Keyboard, and then in a flash of light, the apple was gone, and then in a flash it reappeared, on the wicked Queens table.

She looked at it. "If this is a joke, it's not funny." she sneered.

Gyro, then smiled as the other toons cheered that his machine worked. "And now, I would like a volunteer from the audience to test it on themselves."

At that moment the whole club went silent.

Gyro sighed, "Aw come on everyone, I have teleported other people before, Scrooge to his Money Bin, Launchpad to a plane, Huey, Duey and Luey to a Jr. Woodchucks meeting,"

Still no one was willing to go up and then Mickey stepped up to the Machine.

"Aw shucks Gyrro, I'll try it out for ya!" the mouse offered.

"Oh thank you Mickey you are a true friend." Gyro said, smiling.

Mickey then stepped into the teleporter, and then he stood still.

"Alright Gyro, beam me up somewhere,." Mickey waited, but nothing happened. "um Gyro?"

Outside, Gyro was now in a panic. He had tried setting it to Mickey's Dressing room, but it had suddenly set itself to Mexico, and he couldn't set the coordinates back! "MICKEY GET OUT, YOU'RE GOING TO MEXICO!" Gyro yelled out.

Before MIckey could say anything, there was a bright flash of light, and then suddenly, Mickey Mouse was gone from the teleporter.

Everyone gasped in shock, and Gyro frantically tried to recall Mickey back, but nothing was working.

Minnie gasped, and then turned around into her Walkie-Talkie. "HORACE!" she yelled.

Up in the sound booth, Horace hit the projector with a Mallet, and then a Daisy Duck Cartoon began to Play

0o0o0o0o0

Gyro stood backstage, with Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy, WG and Fanatic looking over his teleporter."I just don't know what went wrong guys. really, I tested it out a few times just today." the inventor told them.

Fanatic poked around the Machine, looking for anything that could have caused the machine to go haywire like it did.

He looked at the Keyboard and then, he saw that- attached to the keyboard-there was…

"Nachos?" he inquired as he peeled them off of the bottom of the keyboard. He looked at the nachos (which had began to grow blue-white-and-green mold on the cheese and chips) and felt like vomiting.

"GYRO, how long have these been here?" WG grimaced.

Gyro walked around and gasped. "I've been looking for those for over a week!" he exclaimed.

"What do we do, we can't have a club without a host!" Minnie cried. "We need a host, and Daisy can't do it because we made her promise she wouldn't!"

"Hey," Daisy said. "I didn't do THAT bad of a job!"

Minnie gave her a blank stare. "YOU BLEW THE SIGN OFF AND IT FELL INTO OHIO!"

"If you want it, it's in my basement." Fanatic replied. He then looked at WG. "Maybe WG can host it."

Donald did a spit-take. "WHAT?!" he cried.

"I'm with the duck- WHAT!?" She cried, jumping ten feet.

"Sure, you do a fine sonnet and singing voice, and your a comedy genius!" Fanatic complimented.

"ARE YOU FRICKIN' KIDDING ME?! I FLUNKED CHOIR AFTER MAKING THE TEACHER'S EARS EXPLODE AND LAST TIME I TRIED STAND-UP COMEDY, THE MANAGER WILLINGLY SET FIRE TO THE STAGE JUST TO MAKE SURE I DIDN'T CRACK A SINGLE JOKE AGAIN!"

"Says the girl who had several people laughing with her 'Invading Treasure Planet', 'Pugs Gets Prankified', and every [deleted] Calvin and Hobbes story she's ever written, including the Wal-Mart one."

WG arched an eyebrow. "…Are you trying to hint at something?"

Fanatic hid several documents with saved files of the Calvin and Hobbes stories behind his back, innocently rolling his eyes. "Maaaaaaayyyybee."

Everyone looked at Fanatic and then they all turned back to WG. "1,000 ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart?" Minnie guessed.

"It's how I meet Fanatic in the frist place, he gave me the idea, long story… oh, wait, that wasn't long at all." WG replied.

Fanatic grinned, "And look where it got you now WG," he said grinning.

WG gave him a deadpanned look. "Yeah- having to keep up with my stories, all the while keeping a bunch of crackpots out of the club, and dealing with stress without the held of meds. Somebody call the 'Fun' police,"

A bunch of cops ran up just then, having the word 'Fun' printed on their uniforms. "You call us, miss?" one of them asked.

"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!"

The cop rolled his eyes. "Darn it. C'mon boys, another false-alarm," they took off, grumbling.

"I think you're suffering from lack of self-esteem. This might help with it!" Fanatic said.

"Dude, my self-esteem isn't going to improve until someone straps Baby Shelby to a rocket, and I get the chance to pound you into the concrete for writing that chapter." WG sneered.

Fanatic cringed. "Alright, that wasn't very nice."

"Neither was that chapter!"

"So it's alright for YOU to write a story about tormenting Puggsy, but one little chapter about you getting harassed isn't?"

"That's different- the loudmouth deserves it!"

"Do not!" came an off-screen shout from a certain loudmouth.

"SHUT UP, PUGS! YOU'RE NOT IN THIS STORY!" WG then developed a mischievous grin. "…yet."

"See? SEE?! You're plotting something nasty right now!" Fanatic pointed out.

"Uh, guys? Can we get back to the PLOT, please?" Daisy asked.

"Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, we still need a host for the show!" Minnie added.

Fanatic turned back to WG. "C'mon, WG! Just do it- it'll be fun… and I won't stop bugging you until you do."

"FINE." WG snarled. "But I'd better get a raise for all this!"

Minnie smiled a her. "Of course. Mickey would probably give you anything you want for this!" she said.

"Extra pay, a free all expense-paid trip to Bavaria, fifty gallons of grape soda, and an official Fangface DVD signed by the cast?"

"OH! OH! And I want to direct the next Transformers/Beast Wars movie with a starring role, and get my collection signed by all the cast of the original series, and get to host a review with the Nostalgia Critic!" Fanatic added excitedly.

Minnie blinked. "Um… yes… whatever you say."

"WE'LL DO IT!" The two authors exclaimed.

"Getting back on topic," Fanatic said. "Gyro can you get the teleporter working?"

Gyro looked up. "The mold has gotten into the circuits, so it will take a while for me to get it running again- that and I think I may have a slight bowel problem…"

"Why…?" WG asked, then noticed the nachos were missing. "Ew, Gyro tell me you didn't…"

He then ran off towards the bathroom, at the speed of light. "EXCUSE ME!"

WG face-palmed. "I can expect something like this from Beezy, but Gyro?!"

"Okay then," Fanatic said. He then pulled out a Walkie Talkie. "Hunter Team, this is Leader, come in Hunter team."

A robotic voice came out of the other end, "This in Hunter Team member Road Hazard, what do you need leader?"

"Fire up the space bridge, me and Minnie Mouse need to go to Mexico to retrieve Mickey Mouse, do you copy?"

"I Copy Leader, I will pick up in five minutes."

Fanatic turned to Minnie, who glared at him. "Okay WHAT WAS THAT!? Why rope me into this?" she demanded.

"AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HELP ME HOST!" WG snapped.

"Because Mickey's your boyfriend, Minnie. And it'll take an Author to get Mickey back in a flash." Daisy said, pushing Minnie and Fanatic over to the door, "Now go out and retrieve OUR MOUSE!"

"Wait-" Minnie tried to say.

*SLAM!*

Daisy slammed the door shut and then ran over to WG, "So, I was thinking FASHION SHOW hosted by WG, what do you think?"

WG gave her a glare. "I'd rather chug cyanide." she groused.

Daisy cringed. "I'll take that as a 'no'…"

Donald only face-palmed. "This isn't going to end well…" he muttered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fanatic and Minnie, stood outside with Max, who was looking down the street with them.

"So, what are we looking for again?" Max asked.

"An Orange Porsche with hazard colored stripes running the length of the body, and a black sideskirt."Fanatic said.

Max and Minnie looked at him. "Well that's specific." Minnie said.

Just then, a Porsche with that exact same coloration drove up to them, with an Autobot insignia on it's hood but with the words, 'Universal Squad 1' in gold letters under it.

"Road Hazard reporting for duty," Road Hazard said.

Fanatic climbed into the drivers seat. "Got the space bridge fired up?"

"Head Case, and Brain Wave are already working on it, it should be ready for you guys by the time we get there."

"Excellent, Minnie get in." Fanatic said. Minnie looked at Road Hazard suspiciously , and then slowly got into the passenger seat. "Road Hazard get us to the base."

"You got it boss." Road Hazard said. "HOLD ONTO YOUR SKIN!"

Before Minnie or Fanatic could say anything, Road Hazard had hit the gas, and then, in less than a millisecond, they went flying down the road, and off into the distance.

Max watched until they disappeared. He then leaned back and sighed. "At least, nothing bad has happened tonight outside of that."

*SMASH!*

Max fell over, with stars circling around his head.

Cindy, put her mallet back where it came from. "Alright girls, our plan worked, the guards are no longer any Problem." she announced.

The rest of the Little Princesses came out from the shadows.

"Excellent, soon we can sit in our rightful place with the other Disney Characters!" Zagi said.

"YAY!" All the girls cheered.

0o0o0o0o0

WG looked at the large crowd of Disney Characters, that were waiting for either Mickey or someone else to begin hosting again.

She toke in a deep breath and then stepped out onto the stage.

"H, hello everyone… uh… Mickey… um… can't be here, b- but we are, um, in the process of getting him back."

She looked at the crowd and saw that everyone was glaring at her. She gulped.

"So, I have taken over duties as host for the time being, and if any of you have any complaints, come see either me or Daisy."

"NO!" The crowd yelled at the top of their lungs.

WG smirked and then continued. "So if any of you have any complaints I'll gladly give my hosting duties over to Daisy.

Another loud "NO!" sounded from the crowd.

"Alright then… um… (Daisy, could you give me help, here?)"

She stepped to the side to avoid knives and swords being thrown at her from Captain Hook's crew, and a jar of dirt thrown by Captain Jack Sparrow, and fire thrown at her from Chernabog.

"So here's a cartoon from our Favorite Duck, during his naval years!"

WG then hopped on a mini-motorcycle and rode off the stage, much to the confusion and enjoyment of the crowd, as the Cartoon began to play. She then walked over to Daisy, who stood with her arms crossed.

"Well, how's the crowd? By the sounds of it, they weren't pleased to hear my name." Daisy said.

"Sorry Daisy, but hey at least it got a laugh, from more people than the Hatter and Hare." WG said.

As she was talking, Cindy, Bianca, Hemi, Iria, and Zagi, all snuck back behind a nearby by door.

"Okay so the She-Author beast is hosting the club, and with the other guy gone, all we have to do is take her out and we'll be set to stay in here for the night, and possibly future nights!" Bianca said.

"Girls," Cindy said. "At very long last, we get what's coming to us." Cindy added, smirking.

While the princesses were plotting, two comic-characters snuck in. "Heh heh, with WG under so much pressure, she won't notice us in the club until we're rocking the place!" Calvin whispered.

"But the last time someone messed with WG while she was under-pressure, they ended up with a machete in their-" Hobbes began to say, but paused. "Er, wait… what rating is this story under, again?"

"Relax, ol' buddy! No one will get in the way THIS time," Calvin then grinned his trademark evil-grin, which Hobbes (as well as everyone else) knew only meant trouble.

TO BE CONTINUED…

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kitty (standing in for authors): Mew. *review.* Mew mew. *don't flame or you'll die.*


	7. Ep 5b, WG the Host?

Disclaimer: WHY DO WE OWN NOTHING!?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o00oo0o0o

"Road Hazard Minnie is going to murder you."

The Porsche Transformed into his robot mode and then he looked over towards the gas Station where Minnie had run into after he had stopped. "Do you think she'll be alright?"

From within the bathroom another loud, "BAAARRRRRRFFF!" was heard, which was quite strange considering that they were nowhere near the bathroom.

"Well she should be fine after…about three more vomits."

"She'd better Fanatic, I don't want to have to stop again, we've still got at least thirty more minutes of travel time."

"BBBBBBBBAARRRRRF!"

Fanatic turned to face the Audience, "We're not leaving anytime soon here folks, how about you just go back to WG at the club and see whether or not it's in a smoldering ruin."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 o

Back at the Club things were running as smoothly as WG could make them, after the cartoon was finished she leapt up on stage dressed in a sailor suit.

"AHOY EVERYONE and welcome back to the House of Mouse, at this time we must ask you to refrain from dropping anything on anyone's head…..THAT MEANS YOU GUYS TOO!"

From within the crowd, Chip and Dale hid the safe that they were going to drop on Donald as he walked by.

"Anyway back to the show. We now have a little treat for you all ," WG said, tearing off the sailor suit revealing a copy of Belle's gown. "From deep within the Disney Vault, I give you all…..Beauty and the Beast the Animated Series EPISODE 4!"

Belle looked at the Beast confused and shocked. "How did SHE find those tapes?" she gasped.

The Beast shrugged and then sighed, "I knew we should have invested in a safe that had a tighter security system."

"You did!" Snapped one of the Queens of Hearts cards, "But it was red colored sooooooo… yeah sorry."

"ON WITH THE SHOW!" WG cried out and then tried to leap offstage and then ending up face planting. "CURSE THIS COSTUME!" she roared and then stormed off, as the cartoon began playing.

WG stormed off stage and then walked up to Daisy, grumbling. "I had no idea that Mickey did this sometimes." She then pulled off the costume and then folded it up into a really small square and then stuck it into her pocket.

"Well on the on/off occasion he does," Daisy explained, lying as she said so. "No then I know the perfect outfit for you to wear when you go up onstage next!"

BAM!

"Durrr never mind."

THUMP!

Goofy looked down at the now unconscious Daisy Duck. "Gosh WG, that is smart I don't think anyone has ever thought to do that before!"

WG looked down at Daisy, a frying pan clutched in her hands. "It had to be done at some point, you know. Fanatic described Daisy and Pete as Starscream if he got a fat dog and a Duck pregnant."

Goofy, Clarabelle and Donald all stared at her with extremely wide eyes, Donald broke the silence. "WHAAAAAT!?"

"It's true Donald," Max pointed out. "They both are making constant bids to make the club the way THEY want it."

"WHY I OUGHTTA WWWWWAAAAAHHH!" Donald cried out in a rage, and then charged toward WG, who pulled out a red cloth, and then she moved it aside as he ran…into 5 anvils, 6 Safes, the Titanic and a pie with each *swish!*

"Ole!" WG exclaimed.

"I surrender." Donald slurred as he passed out.

"Okay so now we are down four club employees."

"Try Five." Max said as he stumbled in with a large bump on his head.

"MAX!" Goofy cried out in horror and he raced over towards his son. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YA!?"

"Princess,…..knock off, Knockout, GO TEAM GO!, Rah rah, mickey mouse, DONALD DUCK!, JET, TANK!"

THUD!

Everyone watched as Max passed out, leading to the ever growing pile of employees on the floor. WG looked at Goofy. "Okay so we're down to you myself, Clarabelle and Horace, the cooks and other waiters, who are never named and a bunch of Knock Off's are running around."

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?" Goofy asked in horror, "If any of us leave, then we lose the audience members!"

"Don't worry." Said WG standing in a dramatic pose, "I"VE GOT A PLAN!"

_Three Seconds Later._

"YOU"VE GOT TO HELP US!" WG pleaded, "WE'RE BEGGING YOU!"

Drake Mallard looked down at the authoress. "There's only one of you here." he said.

"I CAN MAKE UP AN ENTIRE BEGGING ARMY!" WG snapped.

Drake crossed his arms. "And why should I help you again?"

"Fanatic's got a Darkwing Duck the Movie Fanfic going on which he is suffering Writers Block on how to deal with it, so I will let you help him write the thing."

_ZIP! _

In less than a second Drake had ran off and he had returned as Darkwing Duck. "You've got yourself a deal." he then struck a dramatic pose. "Now… Lets. Get. Dangerous."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0

"YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Minnie was screaming.

Fanatic face palmed. "MINNIE SHUT UP WERE ONLY GOING ONE MILE OVER THE SPEED LIMIT!"

Minnie turned to look at him. "I don't see how you can act so, so, CALM about driving around in an out of control hotshot!"

"Hey don't hate on me, I was the closest to the House of Mouse at the time." Road Hazard said.

Fanatic looked at readout of energy signals. "Then why does it say, 'YOU MORON SKYRIM WAS THE CLOSEST DON'T BELIEVE HIM!'?" he questioned.

"Ummmm OH LOOK WERE HERE!" Road Hazard yelled and then swerved off onto a side road, which lead to a cliff face.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Minnie began screaming once again as Road Hazard showed no signs of slowing down at all.

Fanatic opened up a can of Root Beer and chugged it down as if there was nothing going on. Then they drove through the cliff face into a nice looking futuristic chrome colored base. (ooh, shiny!)

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Minnie still screamed until Fanatic stuffed a HUGE chunk of cheese into her mouth.

"Pipe down we're here already, now eat your cheese."

Minnie pulled out the cheese and glared at him. "Fanatic I'm not doing anything until I get-"

Fanatic then got so close to Minnie that she could see his retinas clear as day. "CHEESE!" He bellowed and then returned to normal.

They drove into the base which was like every secret base in a cave ever made combined into one only Chrome colored.

They drove into the main room where about two other Transformers stood around a large round structure, one of them was a communications truck by the parts all over his body, the other one, was a missile truck.

The missile truck, who gave off a gruff military General WWII type guy looked at Road Hazard with Fanatic and Minnie. "Evening commander." he said, spit out a wad of tar in the process all over the floor. "Sorry 'bout the delay but Brain Wave had to leave, said somethin' 'bout some guy who got crushed under some rocks and he wanted to observe a dying tree."

Minnie raised an eyebrow and Fanatic said. "I don't get him sometimes." He looked over at the other Transformer. "Well Head Case?"

The Transformer turned to him reveling that he looked like a giant robotic Doc Brown in a lab coat, "Ah yes my dear boy, it's ready to send you to Mickey's location." he said.

Minnie blanched. "But how on earth do you know his location, it should have taken you a few hours alone just to get to where he teleported!" she questioned.

Fanatic looked at her. "You're dealing with Authors and OC's created by said author in a story fu;l of randomness Minnie- you might as well accept that myself, WG and a majority of our OC's are probably crazy… as well as any upcoming authors coming around Season 2 in this story, but more on that later."

Minnie sighed in defeat, as the portal opened. As they began to walk into Fanatic turned to them. "Keep the portal open, I have a feeling that we won't be too long, and then re direct it to the House of Mouse."

And with that he and Minnie walked through ready to face what lay beyond the other side.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile back at the club, Calvin and Hobbes were looking down from the walkway at the tables with the Disney Princesses.

Hobbes was just staring with wide eyes at them and drooling, mostly due to where he was (oh brother), while Calvin was holding a bucket of Water Balloons.

"Heh, Heh, These Princesses won't know what hit them."

Hobbes looked over at Calvin. "I don't know, they could get mad, and if WG finds out… and is something on fire?" he said, smelling smoke.

Calvin was about to respond when he looked around, smoke was pouring over them and then a voice called out: "I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT! I AM THE BOOK THAT CANNOT BE READ!" Darkwing stood in the smoke his arm extended and his gas gun in hand. "I AM DARKWING DUCK!"

*SPLASH*

"HEY!"

*SPLOSH!*

"STOP THAT!"

*SPLASH!*

"I MEAN IT!"

*SPLISH!*

Darkwing growled and then fired his gas gun at Calvin, which then hit him in the head and then released a Knockout Gas, and then Calvin fell into his bucket of Water Balloons .

"And to think Launchpad told me that buying the Six year old Knock Out gas cartridges was a waste of money." He then turned top face Hobbes. "Now, am I gonna have to gas you, or…?"

Before he finished, Hobbes was picking up Calvin and then walking down the stairs. "I'll let myself out, thank you!" he called back, breaking into a sprint.

Darkwing sighed happily. "It's always nice when they go quietly."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Later Darkwing went up to WG who was… for some reason… now dressed as Belle again."Well that's taken care of." he proudly said.

WG looked at him shocked. "You caught the princesses?" she asked.

Darkwing arched and eyebrow. "The Princesses? No I got rid of Calvin and Hobbes, though all I did was gas Calvin. Hobbes, just walked away."

WG smirked. "Well that takes care of that short sub plot, now I have to enact my own plan to get rid of the Knockoffs."

"How?' Darkwing inquired.

WG put on a Belle wig. "Simple."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0

The Knockoffs were walking through the club in the back ways.

"This is it girls, we'll make history." Zagi said.

"OHHH I CANNOT WAIT!" Hemi cried out.

Suddenly a figure in a bright yellow gown appeared in front of them. "Oh hello there girls." "Belle" said with a smile.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" The Knock offs shrieked still smiling, until 'Belle' shushed them.

"Relax girl's I'm not going to kick you out."

They all looked up at her. "You're not?"

"No in fact I have a really special surprise for you." "Belle" said handing them a book.

"Oh what is it?" Iria asked like an idiot.

"I Think it's a book, and look at the cover." Cindy said with a gasp. "On it was crudely drawn paper that said, 'How to Become a Disney Princess'!"

"Belle" smirked at the idiots. "Yes and there is a very special page." She said, bending down and opening the book up to a page with a button. "This button makes you an official Princess."

They all gasped, and then, like idiots pressed the button, and then a giant boxing glove fist burst out, punching them off into the sky, and off into the distance.

WG smirked and then pulled off the wig, and then held up the book, peeling off the paper reveling the actual cover to be, _"The Warner Siblings Book of Buttons That Cause Pranks On Annoying Antagonists- Special Collectors Edition."_

Then a space bridge portal opened and Mickey, and a ticked off Minnie and Fanatic walked through.

"We're back." Fanatic muttered bitterly. "And nice costume WG, looks like you raided the prop basement."

"Did more then raid I took every single thing related to Beauty and the Beast down there, and… Micky, why do you and Minnie looked as peeved as I am at Fanatic for writing me into a belle costume and the Chapter with Baby Shelby?"

Mickey sighed. "I had no idea I have so many fans down in Mexico my arms hurt from writing so many autographs." he said.

"There's your answer." Fanatic said bitterly. "Now, boss…GET YOUR BUTT ON THAT STAGE NOW!" and with that he hurled Mickey on stage.

Minnie sighed as she walked away. "I am NEVER going on another road trip again!"

Fanatic looked at WG. "So how did hosting go?" he asked.

"Not so bad, I got some help with Darkwing to get rid of the Knock offs and Calvin and Hobbes, whom Calvin got gassed into submission by Darkwing and Hobbes just walked away , and those Knock Offs I fooled with this book."

WG then held up the book which now had a picture of Optimus Prime on the cover, with the title, _Transformer Revenge of the Dark Moon._

Fanatic gasped…"WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT!?"

"A transformers book, here," WG said opening it to another page with a button. "This will play the story out as a hologram… like that book in Treasure Planet."

"EPIC!" Fanatic said and then slammed his fist down onto the button. In a millisecond, Fanatic was crushed by a eighteen ton Steel Mallet.

"And that was for putting me in a Belle costume." WG snapped.

"Note to self…never mess with WG like that ever again." Fanatic muttered. "…and also never trust a book with buttons written by Warner's."

"And now you know." WG said and then walked away. As Fanatic got up Darkwing approached him.

"Hey is what WG said true about you writing a Darkwing Duck Movie story?"

"oh gosh." Fanatic said, his eyes wider than his co-authoress was when she first saw a Fangface DVD.

"I take that as a yes… now then I was thinking about what if at the end Morgana and I finally tie the knot after defeating Nega Duck and the Fearsome Five once and for all in an epic battle to the death."

Fanatic twitched… not what he was expecting.

WG stood outside with Max. "So all's well that ends well right?" Maz asked.

WG smirked. "Yep and Fanatic is finally getting his comeuppance."

Fanatic ran outside and then spoke through gritted teeth. "YOU ARE GONNA PAY!" and with that he ran inside once again.

WG and Max watched him. "Shouldn't you be worried about him WG?"

"What why should I, besides the fact..that..he's…..writing…most..of….the chapters…of…this…fanfic."

She suddenly tore into the club after him, with an apology at the ready.

Max sighed. "I don't think things are ever going to get back to normal around here."

From in an alleyway nearby a figure watched WG, Max and Fanatic until it was just Max.

"Oh you don't know the half of it, muhahahhahaahahh." And with that the figure faded back into the shadows.

**End of episode.**

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0oo0o0

A/N: (runs out with stacks of Transformers stuff, all the volumes of Darkwing Duck, and all the Nostalgia Critic DVDs) …The things I do to make my co-authors happy. Hope you all enjoyed! (runs off) FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M SORRY! IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!

Fanatic: WORSE?! HOW?!

Me: Well…. there could have been a reference to that awful book-series that I will NOT mention. …That and we could have gotten spammed.

Fanatic: True…

Me: …I'll let you throttle all the flamers, no mercy required.

Fanatic: :D OKAY! (runs off with weapons)

Me: (to readers) In other words, FLAMERS, BEWARE!


	8. Ep 6, The Clone Cliche

Well, peeps, as you can tell I've finally returned to a steady writing-pace. I'll be trying to do my updates every Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday, but forgive me if I miss a day for there's a lot I'm trying to work on, such as writing a book, going to see my brother get married next week, babysitting, and trying to find time to myself without any pressure… as well as stop a legion of psychotic squirrels from taking over New Hampshire. Wish me luck!

I'd like to give a big thanks to my co-author, Fanatic97, for working on the last few chapters while I was busy and for the ideas that helped feed the inspiration. Many cupcakes for you, my friend!

And now I present to you the first chapter I've written on my own in a while.

Disclaimer: We don't own anything, WHICH MAKES THIS CRUEL WORLD EVEN MORE HARD TO DEAL WITH! (…k, time to take my meds)

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Blah blah blah, typical night, yadda yadda, House of Mouse, doo doo doo, no O'Mally and the alley cats, ni ni ni… security authors out front.

Max looked up at the paragraph above. "Speeding things along tonight?" he asked Fanatic, who stepped out.

"Well, yeah, we had a off-set situation and didn't have much time to give all the details." Fanatic answered.

"What was the situation?"

Suddenly, WG came running out, holding up a bunch of squealing girls and chucking them across the street. "FOR THE LAST TIME, NO FAN-GIRLS CAN ENTER! HALF THE GUYS ARE EITHER TAKEN OR TOO YOUNG, AND JIM ISN'T LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP NOW! IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT AGAIN, YOU CAN KISS THOSE OC BASED OFF YOURSELVES GOODBYE!" she screamed, then turned to her friends, all calm-like. "Well, that takes care of that. Anyone up for some crab rangoons?"

"WHAT?!" Sebastian cried out.

"No offense, dude!" WG shook her head. "Man, it's hard to bring up food considering half the club consists of animals."

"That would explain why the Three Little Pigs had strokes after seeing Fanatic eating bacon the other night." Max commented.

"Hey, I missed dinner, and I doubt it was anyone they knew!" Fanatic sneered, then held his stomach, eyes wide. "At least… I HOPE it wasn't."

Max rolled his eyes. "So… what's the plot going to consist of tonight?"

"Meh, probably something cliché yet worthwhile… BUT what are the chances of THAT happening?" WG said, sarcastically.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_**MEANWHILE!**_

A car went speeding down the street, and at the wheel was a character wearing a black mask, striped orange-and-black shirt, green ski-cap… and looking similar to Goofy. In the backseat of the car were bags filled with tons of stolen cash, jewels, gold, and the new Kingdom Hearts III game. Behind him, a squad car pursued, driven by a fat man with brown hair and a mustache wearing a tan shirt and tie, and an orange bobcat wearing a police uniform. "There he is, Lucky! We've almost got him!" The bobcat exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

"We're gonna lose him if you don't bouncing like a maniac!" Lucky snapped.

"You'll never take me alive, coppers!" The thief shouted at them.

"WOW! I haven't heard that cliché line in years!" The bobcat exclaimed.

The thief made a sharp turn down a street and the squad car followed, then he took another turn, then another, then another…

On a map we see red and blue dotted lines that show where the cars are driving, going around every block possible… the red one suddenly writing 'Eat At Joe's' on Mainstreet.

Finally, the criminal took a sharp turn down an alley, getting out of the car and grabbing the bags of loot, making a run on foot… but not before grabbing a cute little kitten and throwing it in the lane, and running off snickering.

"There's his car! It looks like he took off on foot. We'll have to-" Lucky began to say.

"WATCH OUT! KITTEN IN THE ROAD!" The bobcat screamed, and grabbed the steering wheel.

The kitten crouched and covered its eyes, though the car went on two wheels and swerved around it. It looked over its shoulder and wiped its forehead.

*CRASH!*

The squad-car smashed into the criminal's car, Lucky crashed through the back and front windshields, while the bobcat somehow ended up in the glove box. "Bonkers…" he growled.

"Hey, at least no one got hurt…" Bonkers said… though the airbag went off and squished him into the seat, and he pulled out a pin to deflate it.

"Speak for yourself… and that criminal got away!"

*POP!*

Bonkers shook his head, and looked out the window. "Not so, Lucky- he left some footprints behind! And he's heading straight for that club!"

"Well, c'mon! Lets go get him!"

"Right!" Bonkers took off… leaving Lucky still stuck.

"BONKERS!"

"Whoops! Forgot something!" he pried Lucky out and they took off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The criminal, meanwhile, snuck into the alley behind the House of Mouse. "Gotta find a place to hide from those dimwits!" he said to himself… then noticed Goofy walking out with a trash-bag. "And I think I know just how to blend in!"

Goofy threw the trash away, humming along… until he was yanked behind a dumpster. "Yow!" he cried.

*Bink! Bank! Bonk! Boing!*

The criminal stepped out, now dressed like Goofy. "Good luck with the cops, doofus," he snickered, then entered the club.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fanatic paused. "What is it?" WG asked, knowing that sudden pauses always meant stuff was about to go down.

"Ever have the feeling the plot is about to run into you?" he answered.

*BAM!*

Bonkers and Lucky were running down the street until they tripped at the curb, crashing into the Security Guards. "…yes…" WG grunted. "Um, excuse me sirs, but you're kind of crushing my pancreas, and my friend's liver…"

Fanatic held up a plate that had liver on it. "Actually, it's for Tiger- I hate liver." he said. "HEY TIGER!"

The co-author's cat then ran up, eating the liver.

"WAIT A MINUTE! I KNOW YOU GUYS!"

"I KNOW THEM TOO!" WG exclaimed.

"WELL I RECOGNIZED THEM FIRST!"

"I'VE WATCHED THEM LONGER THAN YOU HAVE!"

"YEAH… WELL… I'VE GOT CHOCOLATE PREZTELS, SO NYAH!"

WG snapped her fingers. "Darn it!"

"What's that got to do with anything?" Lucky asked.

"Chocolate pretzels beat any argument… only way to beat them is with cream-puffs."

Lucky sighed, shaking his head. "Look, we don't have time for this. We're looking for a dangerous criminal who goes by the name of Odd-Rod," he held up a picture of the thief. "Seen him?"

Once everyone saw the picture, their eyes widened. "Well, we can all certainly see where THIS chapter is going!" WG said, crossing her arms.

"Yep- look alike comes along, causes trouble, makes it look like the person they're posing as is to blame OR ends up suffering (depending on who they're impersonating), and they either get caught or get away leaving nothing resolved." Fanatic added. "Meanwhile, the REAL identity is either bound and gagged somewhere, living the culprit's life, or ends up showing up whenever the identity-thief is out of sight and takes the heat for whatever happens."

"You've guys seen this happen before, haven't you?" Max quipped.

"Only on every single show made in the history of television." WG replied, then clapped her hands together. "So! Lets roll with it and see what pattern follows. …We're going to need back-up though, these situations tend to be tricky."

"I'm waaaaay ahead of you, Wherever." Fanatic said coolly, then turned off-set. "HEY _DARK_! WE NEED YOU TO MAKE ANOTHER CAMEO, PRONTO!"

"But I just- Er, I mean, Darkwing isn't here at the moment!" the voice of Drake Mallard called.

"Well, tell him he'd better be, otherwise I'll tell my boyfriend- who need I remind everyone that as of my story 'Family Traits' owns the Disney Studio in the tooniverse- that he can skip the idea of making Fanatic's Darkwing Duck movie-fanfic a theatrical release!"

Suddenly there was a puff of smoke. "I'm the terror, that flaps in the night! I'm the star that never fades away! I… am-"

"Skip the intro, we've got a plot to get to." WG yanked Darkwing Duck out of the cloud of smoke.

"Hey! You spoiled my dramatic entrance!"

"Actually it's only dramatic when you're facing your enemies- otherwise it's a waste of special effects."

Bonkers let out an excited gasp. "We're having Darkwing Duck help us on the case?" he asked.

"Not only Darkwing, but…" WG said, then held up her finger in a 'one minute' gesture then ran into the club.

The others just stood there. "…but, what?" Lucky asked, arching an eyebrow.

WG came running back out, carrying Detective Basel of Baker Street in the palm of her hand. "Basel of Baker Street! If anyone can help deduce where the criminal is AND spot him from the original Goofy, it's this fella here."

"Pardon me, my dear-" Basel began, then observed WG closely. "…'girl', but could you PLEASE inform me of why you picked me up while I was in the middle of my tea and crumpets?"

"Sorry, Basel, but we'd like your assistance. We need all the help we can get."

"Ah, yes- from what you just mentioned two sentences ago, there must be a 'Goofy' impersonator on the run," he then looked at Lucky and Bonkers. "And from the torn-up state that fairly plump man is in, as well as the excited look on his bobcat partner's face, they are on the hunt for him and have tracked him to this very location, possibly from the scene of a bank heist."

"That's right! How do you do it?" Bonkers asked, amazed.

"Well, it's all elementary, my dear man." he turned to the Security guards. "And, if I might also deduce, with Goofy's clumsy nature and reputation of a klutz, everyone will begin to notice that he isn't the real waiter, as well as notice how frustrated he will get once the dinner rush picks up. However, there's also the chance that this criminal may be the master of impersonation, and the only way to tell them apart is to have them together and from reasons of questioning find out who the real Goofy is."

"Wow, he's good." Fanatic said.

"Yeah, well… I bet he doesn't know where the culprit is now!" Darkwing sneered, trying not to sound jealous.

"Actually, it's quite simple." Basel said, hopping out of WG's hand and walking down the sidewalk, finding a penny on the ground. "A-ha! This is a 1978 penny, and from the scuffs on it, as well as the feel of the temperature, it has been in a fabricated sack, which has a hole in it…" he looked down the alley. "And it seems he has snuck around to the back entrance, and from the way that trash can is slanting there were signs of a struggle."

Darkwing crossed his arms. "Show off." he muttered.

"Thanks, Basel. All we have to do now is find Odd-Rod and catch him before he ruins Goofy's reputation," WG said.

"Is there anything to ruin?" Lucky joked, only to get a glare from Max. "Uh, no offense."

"Good luck with it, chaps. I'd assist you, but I've given you enough," Basel said, then motioned to Darkwing. "Not to mention, you have Darkwing Duck on your side, so I guarantee you'll have this case solved in the matter of…" he took out his pocket watch. "…ten minutes and 23 seconds."

Darkwing grinned. "Well, you heard the mouse! Lets catch that clone!" he exclaimed.

"Right. Fanatic and I will look around the dining area; Lucky, Bonkers, you too search around backstage; Darkwing, grab your team and search the alley and kitchen area, see if Goofy is alright." WG said. "Lets go, guys, GO!"

They split up… while that kick-awesome soundtrack from 'Mission: Impossible' played in the background.

Max scratched his head. "Hey, Basel, you're a great detective- you could've had the case solved in one minute flat… why aren't you helping?" he asked.

"In case you haven't noticed, Maxamillion, we're only on the sixth page and the plot has just begun, meaning it would be nothing but wasteful drabble if we cut from the problem to solution without anything worthwhile in the middle," Basel answered, lighting his pipe. "…Not to mention, as egotistical Darkwing Duck happens to be, I immediately noticed the look of jealousy on his face, and considering this case is more of his level." he walked back into the club. "…Not to mention, the story needs the comedy relief, other than Goofy and his criminal-clone causing mishaps."

"Speaking of which, I'd better go make sure my dad is alright!" Max then took off down the alley.

"…Ah, yes. That too."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile, the criminal- Odd-Rod- snuck across the kitchen with the bag of money, stashing it behind some sacks of flour. "All I have to do is blend in, then when this joint closes, I can grab the goods 'n' go!" he said.

"Yes, but right now you'd better go and get these orders out to their tables!" shouted a French voice, and he turned to see the talking stove from Beauty and the Beast, holding up several order-tickets and motioning to several plates. "Come come, make haste! The customers won't wait forever!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it bub- er, I mean… 'hyuck', okey-dokey stove-a-roni!" Picking up the plates and tickets, he walked out of the kitchen, grumbling.

As soon as Odd-Rod was through the door, Darkwing, Gosalyn, and Launchpad came through. "With Goofy's diabolical double on the loose, and only a few clues left behind, Darkwing Duck enters the scene of the crime, where the culprit had entered last…"

"…all the while narrating his every move like he always does," Gosalyn commented. "Really, Darkwing, you should stop that habit, otherwise your enemies will figure out your every move."

"Ha! I'll have you know, I know how to keep my phrases to myself- no one probably heard me anyway!"

"Hey, if you're looking for Goofy, he just went through the door." the stove told them. "Be careful, though, he's in a strange mood- stranger than usual, I mean."

"Told you so," Gosalyn whispered to Darkwing.

"Just keep moving!" Darkwing said, sternly.

They exited the kitchen, and the stove shook his head. "Oi, why so many characters speak their plans aloud, I will never know." he said, then turned to one of the penguins. "Hey, one of you, bring over those sacks of flour!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile, Goofy came to in the alley, rubbing his head. "Gawrsh, that was weird," he said, a bit dazed. "I had a dream some feller grabbed me, knocked me out, and dressed up like me, then ran into the kitchen with some bags full of money." he shrugged, standing up. "Oh, well. Better get back to my job,"

He walked into the kitchen… much to the stove's confusion. "What the…? I thought you were- didn't I see- weren't you just…?!" he stammered, then shook his head. "Never mind. Hand me that sack of flour!"

"Sure thing," Goofy said, then grabbed a sack of flour, carrying it over his shoulder.

Darkwing, Gosalyn, and Launchpad walked back in by that moment, the masked-mallard holding his hand over one eye. "Nobody move! I dropped a contact lens somewhere in here…" he called.

"HEY! THERE'S THE CROOK!" Launchpad shouted.

"LETS GET HIM!" Gosalyn exclaimed, and the two of them attacked Goofy!

"YEEOWHOHOWIEEE!" Goofy cried his trademark yell, as he was pinned to the ground.

"Ah, here it is," Darkwing said, picking up his contact, wiping it clean, and putting it back in his eye… then realized his sidekicks were wrestling with Goofy. "GUYS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Catching the criminal, what's it look like?!" Gosalyn sneered.

"That's not the criminal- didn't you hear the trademark yell?!"

"But, he might know how to do his voice!" Launchpad reminded him.

"Just get off him so we can question him!"

They got up, and Goofy sat up, a bit nervous. "*gulp* This wouldn't have anything to do with that tag I tore off my mattress three years ago, does it?" he asked.

"Come with us, Goofy- IF THAT'S YOUR REAL NAME!" Darkwing then grabbed him by the arm. "We've got a few questions for you!"

"Golly… I hope it's multiple choice…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Bonkers and Lucky were backstage, when WG and Fanatic came up, wearing sunglasses. "Well, we haven't seen any sign of Goofy in the dining area," WG said.

"Huh, I figured he was always running around there," Lucky questioned.

"Well, we literately didn't see him," Fanatic said, and they took off their sunglasses. "It's hard to see anything with lenses this dark!"

"I knew we should have gone with the NCIS look rather than the Miami Vice," WG added, tucking away her sunglasses.

Lucky arched an eyebrow. "And you guys got hired as security guards… how?" he asked.

"Manager desperation." The two answered in unison, then arched eyebrows at each other. "Hey, how'd you do that? …How are you doing that? …You did it again! …That is weird, like you know what I'm going to say right as you- Dude, that's amazing! Awesome! Cool! …Yeah… Okay, now it's getting creepy. Stop it. …You stop it! No, you! You! I said it first! Nuh-uh, we said it at the same time, it's a tie! I mean it, stop it! St- … Op- … IT!"

Lucky pinched the bridge of his nose. "We're not getting anywhere. Lets check the dining area," he sighed.

"Right behind you, Lucky!" Bonkers said.

They walked out… while WG and Fanatic stood in front of each other. "Super cali fragilicous expi ali docious!" they shouted together. "HEY! YOU PRONOUNCED IT WRONG!"

"WOULD YOU GUYS CUT IT OUT?!" Lucky shouted, then pointed at Fanatic. "You! Come with me! Bonkers, you go with the girl,"

Fanatic shrugged and followed Lucky, and Bonkers looked at WG. "…Wanna hit the kitchen?" she asked.

"Okay!" Bonkers exclaimed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

With Odd-Rod, he had dropped off all the dishes to their tables, and was about to run back to the kitchen…

"HEY WAITER! YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG ORDER!" Timon shouted from his table, then held up a plate of bones. "What do I look like, a dog?!"

"Ew, there's bugs all over this plate!" One of Ariel's sisters cried, and they all shrieked in disgust.

"Hey, who ordered the wood chips?!" Dodger called.

Pinocchio looked at his plate, which was covered in seaweed and dressings. "Doesn't look that bad…" he said, then his nose grew.

Odd-Rod ran from table to table, switching the orders with the right customers. "Sorry/My mistake/Here you go/Eat up," he said quickly, then ran toward the kitchen…

"Oh, waiter!" Snow White called from the Princess table. "Can we get some apple-martinis… non-poison, if you'd please, we're driving home tonight."

"Uh, right away," he ran into the kitchen, returning with some glasses filled with the drink and handed it to them. "Enjoy!" He ran back to the kitchen…

"Yo, Goof-my-man!" King Louie called. "Mind hitting me and my boys up with a fruit salad- hold the salad!"

"Coming right up…"

"Oh, while you're at it, could you bring us a cheese platter?" Bianca asked.

"Sure-"

"Hold it, Goofy! I dropped my fork, can you get me a new one?" Robin Hood asked.

"One moment-"

"Hey, waiter, we need a towel over here!" Hades called, sitting with the Titans… the magma one spilling lava on the tablecloth. "Preferably one that's fire-retardant!"

"Grrrr…!" Odd-Rod was steaming, then raced into the kitchen, grabbing everything and practically throwing it all to the customers.

He then ran to the kitchen, wiping his forehead. "Glad that's over…"

"HEY GOOFY! You're falling behind! Get these orders out there!" came a shout.

Odd-Rod looked, seeing a tower of trays at least ten feet high. "…mother…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fanatic and Lucky peeked out from underneath a tablecloth, looking over the dining area right after 'Goofy's' display of rushed service. "Weird… Goofy tends to screw up, but not that much, let alone he went three laps without a single trip," the co-author said, rubbing his chin. "Methinks he's either OOC, or that's our culprit."

"I'll radio the others," Lucky said, taking out a walkie-talkie. "Bonkers,"

"Yes Lucky? (over)," Bonkers answered.

"I think we've found our guy."

"Same here, WG and I just spotted him! (over)"

"What's your position?"

"We're crouching under Aladdin's table (over)."

Lucky paused. "Bonkers…"

"Yeah, Lucky? (over)."

"THAT'S WHERE WE ARE!"

Zooming out, we see the foursome are under the table, Bonkers and WG facing the other direction. WG held up her walkie-talkie. "That explains why this thing kept getting jammed," she said.

"C'mon, Odd-Rod just went into the kitchen!"

"I'll go fetch Darkwing and see if he's found the real Goofy," Fanatic said, then raced off with WG.

"Lets go, Bonkers, before he tries to slip out,"

"Roger that, Lucky. (over)." Bonkers said, still using the walkie-talkie.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile, Darkwing was in the closet, a spotlight shining on Goofy who sat in a chair, as the masked mallard was questioning him. "Alright, buddy-boy, you can't play dumb for long…" he said, darkly. "Now, let me ask you this…" he got up close. "How many seasons did Goof Troop last for?!"

"Gawrsh, I don't remember! Time sorta flies when you're watching your kids grow up," Goofy answered.

Darkwing pulled away. "Hmm, Goofy never did know the answer to that question… BUT, that's probably the same kind of answer any criminal double would give!" he said. "We can do this all night if we have to…"

*Knock Knock*

"Come in!" Launchpad said… getting clonked by Darkwing.

"How many times do I have to tell you, don't invite guests in during questioning?!" Darkwing hissed.

"What's going on in here?" Max asked, opening the door.

"Hiya, Max! …Say, would you mind telling these guys to let me go? My break's been over with for the last five minutes," Goofy said.

"Not until we get some answers, bub!" Gosalyn said. "You ain't going anywhere unless you have proof that you're the real Goofy!"

Max rolled his eyes. "If he wasn't, he wouldn't have known my name," he said.

The trio paused. "Huh. Should have asked that question first." Darkwing said, a bit embarrassed.

Fanatic and WG came running in just then. "We found the crook- and why does the closet look like an interrogation room?" WG asked.

"Long story, but first things first!" Darkwing said. "Lets. Get. Dangerous…"

"TO THE KITCHEN!" Fanatic exclaimed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

With Odd-Rod, he was carrying a tray with a large cake in the shape of the entire Disneyland amusement park on it, and as large and heavy it was, he was having trouble lifting it. "Stupid… Unbirthday… Special…!" he grunted.

"Alright, bub, hold it right there!" Bonkers shouted. "We know you're not the real Goofy, so put your hands in the air!"

Odd-Rod glared, but smirked. "Okay." He then threw the cake into the air, and it landed on the two cops! "So long, coppers!" he then ran into the kitchen…

…only to see the Darkwing Duck crew waiting for him. "Going somewhere?" Darkwing Duck asked, holding out his gas-gun.

Odd-Rod took out his gun. "Don't try anything… I've got a gun!"

*ZAP!*

The gun was blasted out of his hands… and he looked, seeing Fanatic holding WG like a rifle. "Yeah… well, I have laser-vision." WG said.

"Say hello to my little friend!" Fanatic exclaimed.

WG looked up at him. "Was that a crack at my height, or were you just ripping off a cliché?"

"Uh… basically both."

WG rolled her eyes.

"You can't stop me! I'm going to grab my money and- HUH?!" Odd-Rod looked over, seeing that the bag of money, as well as all the flour, was gone! "What happened to it?! It was right here!"

"Ooh, you didn't put it with the flour, did you?" Gosalyn asked. "Because the whole kitchen staff had to use all of it to make that cake you walked out with."

Odd-Rod's jaw dropped, and he ran out, looking over and seeing the cops creamed with cake… and money, gold, and jewels. "Oh, yum! Chocolate!" Bonkers exclaimed, taking a bite… with a *crack!* his eyes bugged out, and he stuck his tongue out, seeing a few diamonds in the frosting. "Huh. I always thought you only found prizes in your cereal!"

"Get that imposter!" Max shouted.

Odd-Rod then made a break for the exit. "I'm outta here! So long, suckers!" he shouted, rushing out the doors…

Outside, Fanatic was eating bananas and threw a peel down, and the criminal slipped on it, sliding across the pavement and toward Darkwing, who held up a pair of handcuffs which the criminal slid into wrists-first, then WG stuck her foot out and tripped the criminal, making him fall into the back seat of the police car.

"I love cartoons," WG quipped.

"Well, thanks for helping us catch that criminal," Lucky said.

"And keeping my dad's name clean," Max added, putting his arm around his father.

"All in a day's work for the average heroes," Darkwing boasted.

"Well, everyone, hope you all had a good time despite the mishaps tonight. See you again real soon!" Mickey called on stage, then walked over to the security guards. "…Would you all mind telling me what all happened tonight? There's been talk about messed up orders, and jewels in cake, and doubles, and… and…"

"Relax, Mick, it's all taken care of," WG said, patting him on the back. "But from now on, lets start checking everyone's ID."

"Just so we won't have to deal with another evil-twin episode again?" Fanatic asked.

"That… and I'm pretty sure Cruella's driver's license expired twenty years ago,"

*SCREEEECH!*

*CRASH!*

Cruella's car sped by, knocking over a fire hydrant as she did.

"…Yep. ID check. Good idea." Fanatic agreed.

**End of Episode… whichever one it is, I forget.**

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: Gotta love these kinds of scenarios.

Please review. No flames or an army of rabid kittens will lay siege at your front door.


	9. Ep 7, Back Up Time!

And now for a somewhat chilling- yet nonetheless hilarious- chapter ;)

Disclaimer: *looks at watch* Still own nothing…

0o0o0o0o0

"It was yet another regular night at the House of Mouse… At least, that's how I remembered it. It was around 7:45 when everything became amiss, when I felt a strange presence following me on my way to work. I kept looking over my shoulder at the crowded streets, having a feeling someone or something was following me- who or what it was, I didn't know, I was just hoping it wasn't some princess knock-off, as I was getting bored with fending them off with my machete, laser-vision, and other lethal advantages.

I arrived at the club at 8, meeting up with Fanatic, both of us waiting for guests to arrive while the rest of the staff went to their own posts… and suddenly, in a blink of an eye, we were back in time. Having gained knowledge of such circumstances thanks to my boyfriend, I knew it only meant one thing… Weeping Angels. Mickey, as soon as you receive this letter, I advise you to warn the guests and whatever you do- don't turn around, don't look away, and do NOT blink.

…Oh, and also Fanatic wants you to make sure no one touches his autographed Darkwing Duck poster and that someone feeds his kitty, Tiger.

Sincerely, Wherever Girl- from the year 1978."

Mickey looked over the letter again and again, standing out front with Max. "It's got to be some sort of prank. Maybe the two authors are just using an excuse to take time off," the mouse guessed.

"I don't think so, Mickey. I was walking over to them, blinked, and they were suddenly gone." Max told him. "And I know they wouldn't just abandon their posts before showtime. Face it, Mickey- our security guards have been kidnapped."

_(Insert House of Mouse theme song here! Namely just for dramatic pause and stuff. Anyone still remember how it goes? …Anyone?)_

Mickey had gathered the rest of the staff backstage, showing them the letter. "I called up FF2, he says he'll be along to help," Goofy said.

"When will he get here?" Donald asked. There was a strange humming sound, and an old Police Contact Box began to appear around him. "WAH!" he quickly ran out of the way before the image became solid. "What the heck…?!"

The doors of the TARDIS opened… and out stepped Fangface the Second (aka, FF2, for those of you who don't know). "Alright, Dad, care to tell me why you called me up as I was playing _Dead Rising, _telling me my girlfriend is gone?" he asked, firmly.

"I'm really sorry, FF2, but Max here told me some crying angels took her and Fanatic away," Goofy said, wiping a tear. "Poor kids… they were so young!" he then busted out crying.

"Dad. They're not dead." Max put bluntly. "They were taken by weeping angels."

"One moment." FF2 said, then picked up a glass of water, took a sip, then did a spit-take. "WEEPING ANGELS?! Great Scott, guys! Why didn't you inform me sooner?!"

"Um… we don't really know what 'weeping angels' are," Daisy spoke up.

"Don't you watch Doctor Who?"

Everyone shook their heads.

FF2 sighed, face-palming. "Weeping Angels are the deadliest creatures you could ever face, who can move quickly and silently, and feed of time-streams, such as by sending one back in time. However, if they are observed, they become quantum-locked, in which they are frozen in position yet difficult to destroy."

"Why are they called 'weeping angels' then?" Minnie asked.

"Because of the way they cover their eyes- they can't look at each other, otherwise they'll be frozen until an outside force moves them away. No one really knows where they've come from… but apparently, they're here, and they've taken your two security authors away to a different time."

"That's what the letter said! They were taken to the year 1978. " Mickey said, showing him the letter.

FF2 looked at it, gritting his teeth, then looked around. "Mickey, follow WG's orders- everyone keep your eyes open for any stone-angels. Stay together!" he turned to Max. "Max, come with me… we're going to hunt some angels."

"Wait! We need a security guard!" Minnie exclaimed.

"Don't worry, I'm sure WG made sure to send a note for back-up." With that, FF2 and Max took off.

"…I thought HE was the back-up," Donald questioned.

"If it's not him, then who is it?" Daisy wondered aloud.

There came a descending whistle…

*CRASH!*

… and a safe fell in the street, opening up and revealing two familiar faces: Sailor Androm3da (formerly known as Ojamajo Boy) and Supah KND Operation Colin (…or Colin for short). "Wow, Fanatic was right! Traveling by a catapulted safe IS quicker than driving!" Colin exclaimed, stepping out.

"And no need for licenses, too!" Sailor Androm3da added.

"Oh no… not two more!" Donald groused, face-palming.

"Are… you two the replacement security guards?" Minnie gulped.

"We sure are! WG advised that if anything were to happen to her and/or Fanatic, we could fill in!" Colin exclaimed. "…We were going to make an appearance around Season 2, but considering the circumstances, an abrupt cameo was amust."

"But how did you guys find out?!" Mickey asked.

"She sent us an e-mail, filling us in about the situation, but how she didn't have much time left to do anything," Sailor Androm3da said, glumly. "I suppose… she's aged so much and has gone to meet her maker…"

"I ain't dead, you dimwit!" came an elderly voice… and up walked an old lady with a cane, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and looking like a wrinkled-up WG. "Good grief, you age a few years, and people assume you're dead! You youngsters have no respect for old people!"

"WHA…?! WHEREVER GIRL?! B-but, you said you didn't have much time left…!"

"Because I haven't paid for my internet connection in months and they were shutting it off, not because I was going to die! Sheesh!"

"But… where's Fanatic?" Colin asked.

"Oh, he's gone… *sniff*."

"Oh my gosh! He's…?"

"*sniff- hack! cough* Ugh! Stupid phlegm… As I was saying, he's gone- to the bathroom." she looked over her shoulder at some public restrooms. "HEY FAN! HURRY IT UP, WILL YA?!"

"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying! Don't rush me, woman!" an elderly man's voice shouted, and out walked an old man with a gray beard, thick-framed glasses with very thick lenses, wearing a 'I 'Heart' Bacon' shirt with plaid pants and suspenders, walking with a walker… and, as revealed, was actually Fanatic. "Good gravy, can't an old feller take his time in the bathroom anymore?"

"If you took your time, we'd be dead!"

"Oh shut up! You're the one who said we should eat at Taco Bell!"

"Uh, I hate to interrupt your conversation but… WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!" Mickey shouted.

"Oh, well we just came to warn you about the weeping angels… in case you didn't get my letter." Old-Wherever-Lady said.

"Yeah, you can't really rely on proper postage anymore," Old-Man Fanatic added. "Ooh, I see the recruits arrived," he adjusted his glasses- through them, everything seemed to be maximized about 100 times. "…my, what big heads you've got."

"So how are we going to get rid of the bawling angels?" Goofy asked.

"Well, I'm guessing someone's already told FF2, so he's probably on the case," Old-Wherever-Lady said. "So the most you can do is keep your eyes open and make sure no other guests get snatched up."

"In the meantime, I'm taking a nap… walking two blocks really takes a lot out of y- zzzzzzzz…" Old-Man Fanatic said, then fell asleep standing up.

"Don't worry, guys! We'll guard this place with our lives!" Colin exclaimed with a salute. "C'mon, Sailor, lets scout around for more angels!"

"Right behind you, Colin." Sailor Androm3da said, and they ran inside.

"Well, at least we've got some security-" Mickey began to say.

"OH MY GOSH! IT'S THE CAST OF 'THE SECRET WORLD OF ARRIETTY'! CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPHS?!"

"Yep… they're OUR recruits, alright." Old-Wherever-Lady said… then fell asleep standing up.

"This is going to be a stressful night…" Donald sighed.

What they didn't notice was Calvin and Hobbes listening from the alley. "WG and Fanatic are trapped in time?" Calvin gasped.

"That means we can get into the club now, right?" Hobbes asked.

"Are you kidding? They've got two other psycho-authors on duty! …But, we DO have a chance on getting into the club a DIFFERENT way!"

"How so?"

"Follow me… this is our moment to shine!" With that, they ran off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

FF2 and Max stood on the roof-top, back to back, looking around. "Those beasts could be anywhere, keep alert." FF2 said.

"Why do you think they've come here?" Max asked.

"Like I said, they feed off time-streams, and send people back in time to do so, and sent WG and Fanatic back 35 years,"

Max scratched his head. "They haven't aged well… WG would only be in her mid-50's."

"True… perhaps she wasn't able to write that letter until 1978- being trapped in the past has a way of keeping you from thinking about things like this. But right now, we have to focus on-"

*ZAP!*

"What the…?!" Max looked over the edge, but saw nothing strange. "I thought I heard something."

"Any clues down there?" FF2 asked, looking downward.

"Just two canes on the pavement."

"Good heavens, they're even going after old people! …And if they did it in front of the House of Mouse…" he gasped. "THEY MIGHT BE INSIDE!"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Sailor Androm3da and Colin stood on the catwalk, looking over the audience as Mickey welcomed everyone. "Alright, we just have to keep our eyes peeled for any stone angels, and with us watching the place, they'll be frozen!" Colin said.

"I think they'd be frozen anyway, with such a crowd." Sailor Androm3da said. "Unless there was a way no one could see them…"

"And now for a Minnie cartoon!" Mickey exclaimed.

Sailor Androm3da gasped as the lights began to dim. "WAIT! STOP THE CARTOON!" he shouted, leaping onto the stage as the lights shined bright again, and the crowd gasped. He turned to the famous mouse. "Mickey, we can't turn off the lights or even dim them! If no one can see the angels, they'll be taken back in time too!"

"Hey! Where's the cartoon?!" Timon called.

"Uh, s-sorry folks, but we can't roll any cartoons tonight," Mickey announced.

The crowd booed. "Why not?!" The Reluctant Dragon demanded, pouting.

"Um… well…"

Colin quickly lowered himself down from a cable just then… getting tangled up as he did so. "Because all the cartoons got switched with episodes of _TMZ!" _he cried out, frantically.

The whole crowd gasped, a few people screamed, and one of the R.O.R fraternity brothers (from Monsters University) fainted.

"So, uh, for some entertainment… here's the Quackstreet Boys!" Mickey introduced instead, and they hurried offstage. "Thanks for the warning, boys. We could've lost the whole audience!"

"It's what we're good at, Mick." Colin said, coolly. "Now lets scout around for those angels!"

They walked off… not noticing a stone-angel standing behind the curtain, its eyes covered.

"HOLY MOLY THERE'S ONE!"

…not noticing- for about three seconds.

"What do we do?" Mickey gasped.

"Stand here, and do NOT take your eyes off it- don't even blink!" Sailor Androm3da said. "We'll search for something to destroy it with!"

With that, the two substitute-guards took off, leaving Mickey with the statue. "Wait, where are you guys-" he asked, turning around for a second, then quickly turned back…

…seeing the angel was smack-dab in front of him, looming over, their face looking demonic and their clawed-hands outstretched.

He paled. "…Minnie… help me…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

FF2 and Max were back in the TARDIS, standing at what appeared to be a scanner. "From what I can tell, there's three angels in the club," he said. "We have to find a way to trap them, and destroy them."

"How can you destroy them?" Max asked.

He paused. "I don't know, WG didn't get that far into the series yet. BUT, there IS a trick we can use."

They ran back into the club, spotting a Weeping Angel near the restrooms… and the gargoyles from _The Hunchback of Notre Dame _were standing by it. "So… you come here often?" one of them asked.

"Guys, don't take your eyes off that angel!" Max warned.

"No problem with that, Max," the shortest one said, smiling flirtatiously at the statue. "This one is a real looker,"

"Yeah, and it can snap your neck, steal your voice, and even send you back in time half a century," FF2 deadpanned.

The gargoyles froze. "Uh, in that case, better call some other gargoyles!" They then took off.

"Very well. GOLIATH!"

Goliath swooped down. "What do you want?" he asked.

"Keep an eye on this Weeping Angel, don't look away or blink at all- these things are deadly."

"Very well." Goliath stared cold-heartedly at the statue…

…and it crumbled to bits. "Wow. I guess it couldn't handle the pressure." Max claimed.

"Don't let your guard down, these things don't die that easily," FF2 said, then swept the gravel-remains into a box, which was made of mirrors on the inside. "This may seal it away. Now to find the other two."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daisy came running up to Mickey, frantic. "Mickey, bad news!" she cried.

"I've got bad news too!" Donald exclaimed.

"I've got worse news!" Horace yelped. "The Quackstreet boys are running out of songs, and the audience is wanting more entertainment!"

"Yeah, well the battery running the electricity is starting to wear out which means we'll be cast into the dark, and I can't find the charger!" Daisy cried.

"WG and Fanatic went missing AGAIN!" Donald shouted.

"What are we going to do, Mickey? …Mickey?"

They looked, seeing Mickey was standing stone-still, his eyes taped open. "Don't. Blink." He said slowly, and pointed over at the Weeping Angel.

Everyone froze. "We're doomed." Donald gulped.

Colin and Sailor Androm3da came running up just then… holding laser-guns, sledgehammers, and for some reason 99 bottles of pop. "Alright, we got some weapons- but just in case, everyone drink soda so you'll stay wide-awake!" Colin advised.

"EAT LASER, ROCKY!" Sailor Androm3da shouted, zapping the angel, which turned to dust.

"HOORAY!" Everyone cheered.

…but a few seconds later, it regenerated back into form.

"CRAP."

"Wow, these things ARE hard to beat." Sailor Androm3da commented. "Colin, hand me the sledgehammer, we'll reduce it to rubble and seal it in the freshly-poured concrete down the street… Colin?" he turned around, seeing Colin facing the other way. "Colin, what are you… oh…"

Colin was looking over at a Weeping Angel, who had its face covered. "These things are fast." he put bluntly.

FF2 came running, box-in-hand. "Good news, one of the angels turned into rubble and I sealed it inside this mirrored box and… oh, there's the other two." he said, noticing the situation.

The lights flickered just then, and the angels moved closer about a couple inches. "GAH!" Mickey and Donald screamed, diving into Daisy and Minnie's arms.

"Don't worry, we've still got one of them-"

The lights went out for two seconds, and when they came back on, one of the weeping angels had the box in hand- lights flickered again, and the box was opened, and the third angel stood before them.

"Oh buggah."

"Wait, wait, WAIT! They're facing each other, that would mean they're still frozen if they're looking at each other, right?" Colin pointed out.

"Wrong- this one is facing to the left at a 90 degree angle, while the one next to it is facing the right, and the third still has its eyes covered." Sailor Androm3da said. "But… maybe if we can put mirrors in front of the two that have their faces uncovered, that'll solve one problem."

The lights flickered again… and the third angel was now standing closer to them, its face only half-covered. The others quickly stepped out of the way towards the wall… the lights flickered, and the angel was now standing next to the other two, all of them facing our heroes.

"We need mirrors now that they're all looking!"

"On it!" Colin said, running out into the dining area… coming back with the Magic Mirror from Snow White, the Enchanted Mirror from Beauty and the Beast, and the Looking Glass from Alice in Wonderland (the old TV series… anyone remember that show?). "These might work!"

The lights went out for a second-

*SMASH!*

When they came back on, the mirrors were smashed. "I hope you all have insurance," The Magic Mirror said, darkly.

"Oh… crud." Colin stepped back with the others.

"Stand back!" FF2 said, taking out his Sonic-Screwdriver. "I'll handle these things… you beasts made a wrong move in taking away my girlfriend! Now you're going to-"

The lights went out completely, and everyone screamed.

They came back on…

And to everyone's shock, the angels were facing actual mirrors!

What shocked them more was, behind those mirrors, stood WG and Fanatic- in their youth. "Nice idea with the mirrors, guys." WG said to Colin and Androm3da. "I figured calling you guys for back-up was a good idea."

"What the…?! How the…?!" Mickey stammered. "What happened to you guys?! You were old the last time we saw you!"

"Oh… well those parts of us no longer exist in this timeline, now that we've been brought back." Fanatic explained.

"How were you brought back?!" FF2 questioned.

WG stepped aside, showing Calvin, Hobbes… and their time-machine cardboard box. "Hello!" Calvin exclaimed.

"Here's what happened…" WG began.

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Back in 1978…**

WG and Fanatic looked around. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!" Fanatic shouted.

"We've, obviously, been transported to a different time… either that or they're re-printing the old Garfield comic-strips." WG noted, holding up a discarded newspaper.

"How?!"

"Don't ask me! I don't just have answers fly right out of nowhere!"

Calvin and Hobbes suddenly flew through a time-portal in front of them. "There you guys are!" Calvin exclaimed, then turned to Hobbes. "I told you making a left near the Jurassic Era was a good idea."

"Calvin? Hobbes? What's going on here?!" Fanatic demanded.

"Everyone in the present said you guys were kidnapped by Weeping Angels and taken to this year, so we came to retrieve you." Calvin said.

"Weeping Angels, huh? I think I know how we can defeat them… but we'll have to go into the future a bit," WG said, rubbing her chin.

"Why?"

"To cheat a bit."

Calvin grinned. "I like the way you think!"

"Well, lets get going then!" Fanatic said, climbing in.

WG looked at the newspaper once more, analyzing the date. "WAIT! Let me do something real quick first!" she exclaimed, then took off.

They only blinked.

About three hours later, WG returned. "Okay, I'm ready."

"What did you do?" Hobbes asked, suspiciously.

"You'll see. LETS GO!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Present**

"We went forward in the future a bit to ask Androm3da and Colin how the Weeping Angels were defeated and they said we placed mirrors in front of them… so we grabbed some mirrors, came to this exact moment, and voila." Fanatic finished.

"…I am so confused right now…" Mickey said, rubbing his head.

"Get used to it. FF2, being an expert on Doctor Who-related stuff, take these things away, if you don't mind." WG said.

"Will do… I know a lovely room-of-mirrors," FF2 said.

"Thanks again guys for taking care of things," Fanatic said to Colin and Sailor Androm3da.

"Anytime… now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hang around the cast of _My Neighbor Totoro!" _Sailor Androm3da exclaimed, rushing off.

"And I'm going to harass the villains!" Colin exclaimed, running off next.

"Looks like we're back on duty," Fanatic sighed.

"Yep… lets take a break first." WG said, and they walked off.

"Hold it!" Calvin called. "Since we pretty much saved you guys from turning into old geezers 30 years early…"

"Can we get an honorary membership?" Hobbes asked quickly.

"Hmmm… Okay, sure." WG said with a shrug.

"HUH?!" The rest of the staff gawked.

"Hey, they earned it. …Plus, you never know- with Calvin around, other freaky things might stay away."

"Because I'm just that awesome?" Calvin boasted.

"No- your ugly face would give them a heart-attack."

"I resent that!"

"Lets just end the chapter, before anything ELSE happens," Fanatic said.

They all walked off… not noticing a fourth Weeping Angel watching from the cat-walk-

"HEY! HERE'S ANOTHER ONE!" Colin shouted, popping up behind it and pushing it over…

*CRASH!*

Androm3da, dressed as a janitor, swept the remains onto a plate, and handed it to Stitch. "Here, buddy- extra dessert."

"Ooooh!" Stitch wooed, then ate the gravel, belching.

The two author-cameos smirked, walking out. "Our work here, is done."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Back with FF2, he finished disposing of the Weeping Angels, then passed by a videostore… backing up when he saw a Fangface DVD poster- claiming to have 50 more episodes than what the series originally had. He walked in, picking one up and looking over the episode lists… noticing most of them consisted of familiar fan-fiction titles, and other ideas he remembered being mentioned.

"Only Wherever Girl…" he chuckled, then walked out.

0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: …hey, who wouldn't?

Nice job, Colin and Androm3da. …And don't worry, you'll be getting another cameo in the future.

Please review. No flames or we'll set Weeping Angels around your house.


	10. Ep 8, Fan Art Frenzy!

And now for a new chapter. But, there's one thing I have to say…

_**This chapter is a reference to all the Youtube and DeviantArt Fan-art/videos made out there, and based on what the Disney characters think of them. It is not an insult to anyone's work, just used for entertainment purposes. We apologize if anyone finds it otherwise.**_

Disclaimer: We don't own anything.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**11:45 PM**

WG quickly ran out to the streets, her hands covering her mouth and nose, as if she were trying to hold something in…

*SPLURGE!*

…and suddenly blood shot out of her nostrils.

_WG: You may be wondering why I'm having a nose-bleed. Well, in case you didn't notice the warning at the beginning of the chapter, a lot went down at the House of Mouse. _

**Earlier that night, around 8:13…**

_You see, Fanatic and I have a job of making sure everything stays safe at the house of mouse- making sure no villains pulled anything, keeping out knock-offs, driving crazy fan-girls away, and just making sure nothing dangerous comes along. Well, what we never knew that, while protecting the club that night, we'd also end up having to protect our guests' reputations. _

…_Which became difficult the night I let Clarabelle borrow my laptop._

"…which became difficult… the night I let Clarabelle… borrow my laptop…" WG murmured as she typed at her laptop.

Fanatic scratched his head. "Uh, WG? Isn't it a little confusing to be typing the chapter DURING the chapter of which you're writing?" he questioned.

"Yes, but give me a break, I'm behind in my updates."

Fanatic sighed. "Can we at LEAST make something useful of your laptop then? Like look up Transformers vids, AMVs, or trailers for _Grown Ups 2_?"

"Oh fine! I'm going to be stuck with writer's block with you jabbering anyway." she then pulled up Youtube. "Hey, how about if we look up some Disney AMV's?"

"Why?"

"I dunno. Just because we're at a Disney joint and it would fit and we need something to lead to the plot?"

"Oh. Okay."

They began watching an AMV, when Clarabelle came up. "Hi, WG, Fanatic. Say, can I borrow your computer real quick? I need to finish up typing the latest gossip on the Long Lost Eighth Dwarf, Wimpy, and the deadline is tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, sure. Let me close out real-"

"WHEREVER GIRL! FANATIC! WE NEED YOU IN HERE- MALEFICENT AND LADY TREMAIN ARE TRYING TO BEAT UP THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC FOR NOT PUTTING EITHER OF THEM AT NUMBER ONE ON HIS 'TOP 11 DISNEY VILLAINS' LIST!" Daisy shouted from inside.

"OH. MY. GOSH." Fanatic gasped. "…The NOSTALGIA CRITIC IS HERE?!"

"HURRY! WE MUST GET HIS AUTOGRAPH WHILE HE'S STILL ALIVE!" WG shouted, and they raced inside.

…leaving Clarabelle with the laptop…

…while the Youtube page was still up. "Hmm… what's this?" she asked, scrolling through the videos. "Huh? JimxAladdin, Slash AMV?" she clicked the video… and her eyes widened. "(GASP) Forget about the eighth dwarf! THIS is going to be the biggest thing!"

And so it began.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Over the next hour or so, Clarabelle looked up many videos of Disney slash-couples. "Oh, just wait until Ariel finds out Jim is dating her daughter, but is cheating on her with Aladdin-" she said, then clicked another video. "Oh! Jim is dating Ariel too? I wonder if Eric knows!"

She had written down so many things: Jim and Aladdin are going out behind Jasmine's back, while Jasmine is going out with Esmerelda, while Esmeralda is cheating on Jasmine with Cinderella, who's secretly seeing Jim, who's cheating on her with Aladdin and Melody until Cinderella found out and started seeing Prince Eric, who broke up with her to go out with Belle, who found out he was going out with John Smith and dumped him and started dating Jim next, until Princess Aurora dragged her away and…

Good grief, how many Disney crossover-couples are there?!

After watching a lot of videos that included fan-art from Deviantart and spliced-together clips- not knowing NONE OF THEM WERE REAL- Clarabelle shivered with anticipation. "This is going to be juicy! I can see the headlines now: 'Multitude Madness: A Chain of Cheaters- Disney heroes and heroines show a different side to their stories!'."

With that, she quickly ran to her printer.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**9:25 PM**

"Thanks for signing our T-shirts and 'Kickassia' and 'Suburban Knights' DVDs, Critic!" Fanatic said as he and WG waved to the Nostalgia Critic as he exited off-screen.

"And don't worry- those gashes in your abdomen aren't that noticeable and will heal up quick!" WG assured, then turned to Fanatic. "Well, Fanatic, how about we do a perimeter check just to make sure nothing else is going down behind our backs that could result in complete chaos?"

"Sounds good to me!"

With that, they walked along, passing Clarabelle. "Oh, thanks so much for lending me your laptop, WG! I found out SO MUCH MORE than I expected!" she said, handing the laptop back to the authoress.

"Anytime, Clara." WG said as they continued on, opening her laptop. "I wonder if the second season of Accel World is on Hulu yet… WHAT THE FRENCH FRY?!"

They pulled up the web, seeing the 'Watch History' was up… and there was a whole ton of Disney-slash videos on the list. "Ew, WG, you actually watch these kinds of things?!" Fanatic sneered.

"NO! Someone must have gotten their hands on my laptop and pulled this trash up and-" WG paused, her eyes widening. "Oh my gosh…"

"You know who did it?"

"No- someone made an UrsulaxHades video, how would that work?!"

"…how would any of them work?"

"EXACTLY! But the real question is, who had my laptop long enough to pull up so many-"

They froze, remembering Clarabelle's statement: "I found out SO MUCH MORE than I expected!"

"Oh."

"Dear."

"Muffin."

"Cake."

"WE GOTTA STOP CLARABELLE!" The two authors shouted together, and raced off to find the cow.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**10:00 PM.**

The authors looked all around the dining area, but saw no trace of Clarabelle. "Oh man, where is she?!" WG stammered. "If we don't stop her, we're doomed!"

"WG, calm down. Just because Clarabelle shows a bunch of pictures and videos- which, I should add, are already on the internet- doesn't really mean we're doomed… just the reputation of the Disney stars."

"Dude, think about it! If Clarabelle thinks those pictures are real, and makes the other Disney starts think they're real, then we're going to have total and complete MAYHEM that will end in bloodshed!"

"Oh, yeah, because so many characters will be killing each other thinking the other is going out with their lover?"

"That… and I might get a nose-bleed."

"But… I thought you said you're not into this stuff."

She gripped him by the shirt. "I'M NOT! I just don't want to risk it… people would get the wrong message and I'd forever be ashamed…"

Fanatic turned to the audience. "You got that, people? She's NOT into it! …but, um, how come we're writing this chapter then?"

"Because it was YOUR idea!"

Fanatic paused. "Oh. Right. …Uh, lets find Clarabelle."

"Right."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile, Clarabelle was in the Women's Restroom, sharing her gossip (a little early) with Minnie and Daisy. "And it's all over the internet! Ooh, I just can't wait to release the article!" Clarabelle was squealing, showing them a sample of her article.

"Uh-huh… Clara, I hate to burst your bubble, but these aren't-" Daisy began to say.

"Aren't easy to take in all at once, right? That's what I'm aiming for- something to really pack the thrills!"

"But, Clarabelle, you're going to hurt a lot of people if you show these!" Minnie spoke up.

"Well, the truth has to be let out somehow- it would be more wrong to just keep quiet and let everyone keep cheating on each other."

"No, Clarabelle, what Minnie meant was…" Daisy tried to say.

"I have to go. I'll be on in less than an hour, and there's so much prepping to do!" with that, Clarabelle walked out.

"She wouldn't even let us get a word in! Minnie, what are we going to do?"

"Find the authors, maybe they can help-" Minnie began.

WG then ran in. "Is Clarabelle in here any where?!" she asked, checking the stalls.

"…I guess there's no need to tell you," Daisy said.

"Clarabelle just left. She said she was going to prep for the show." Minnie answered.

"GAH! We gotta stop her! Humiliation is on the lines! We're talking nostalgic scars! The end of dreams! Cats and dogs living together! Mel Brooks making a sequel to 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights'! Mayhem! Chaos! Nosebleeds!" WG was crying out, frantically.

Minnie grabbed her, shaking her. "WG CALM DOWN, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER RESPIRATORY ATTACK!"

WG took in a long, deep breath, and slowly let it out. "Sorry, Minnie, I just don't handle slash-situations well. …Just ask Jim Hawkins and Silver- they paid me to get rid of their slash-fans."

"Who are they?" Daisy asked.

"You mean, who WERE they?"

"Uh… lets just go stop Clarabelle."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**10:15 PM. Muffin.**

Fanatic raced around, looking for Clarabelle. "I wonder if I would get more done if I didn't run everywhere and look at one spot for two seconds." he said to himself, looking around quickly as he ran. He then spotted Mickey. "Mickey! Hey! What time does Clarabelle go on?"

"11:00, why?" Mickey asked.

"You can't let her on! Delay her until the end of the show if you can!"

"Why?"

"It's a state of emergency! She's got gossip that'll shut this club down!"

"Oh, no, what now?"

"Two words: Disney. SLASH."

Mickey paled. "WHAT?! I'm going to have a word with her!"

He stormed over to her room, seeing Minnie, Daisy, and WG there already. "Clarabelle! I want to talk to you about this article of yours!" the head Mouse shouted.

"Sorry, no spoilers!" Clarabelle called back, sternly.

"It's no use, Mickey. We already tried talking to her, but she won't listen." Minnie sighed. "She thinks it's all real… and won't stop until she 'reveals' everything."

"Minnie, please! This story is only under a 'T' rating!" Fanatic gasped.

"Well, we have to stop her, otherwise she's going to end up like those Jim and Silver slash-fans WG handled." Daisy said.

Fanatic looked at WG. "They have slash-fans?"

"Not anymore." WG said darkly.

"Wait… Jim and Silver knew about their slash-fans, right?" Minnie asked. "Isn't it possible that everyone in the club knows about these videos and fan-arts too?"

Everyone paused. "…Time to take a survey!" Fanatic exclaimed.

"You stall Clarabelle, we'll handle this!" WG said to Mickey.

Mickey paused. "Why am I left in charge of the stalling?" he demanded.

0o0o0o0o0o0

**10:30.**

Over the next half-hour, everyone went to the tables of everyone who'd be a victim in Clarabelle's article. "Oh yeah, those videos? Yeah, we see them pop up all the time and pick on each other for it," Aladdin told Fanatic.

"Yeesh, me and Ursula? Heh, only in some crazy-fan's fan-art, kid. Now, if you see fan-art with me and Maleficent, then it would be more realistic." Hades told WG.

"They paired me up with Aladdin?!" Jim questioned, appalled, as Daisy told him about it.

"Ugh, we just hate those saucy fan-arts about us," Jasmine said at the Princess table, while the rest of them nodded. "I think a bunch of fan-boys have too much time on their hands."

"It was bad enough they made crossover pairings with me, but could they please leave my daughter out of it?" Ariel said, annoyed, when Minnie informed her.

"They paired me up with John Smith too?!" Jim sputtered when Daisy told him more.

"I can't really criticize the fan's imaginations… but yes, I do find it disturbing in a lot of cases." Belle told WG and Fanatic.

"Disgusting." Maleficent sneered to Minnie.

"Uh… I don't see the chemistry in those pairings at all," Hercules scoffed.

"They paired me up with URSULA?!" Jim shouted, then looked around. "That's it, I'm hiring WG again!"

0o0o0o0o0o0

**11:07 PM. …Strudel.**

Once everyone had been informed, everyone met up by Clarabelle's dressing room with their own notes. "Tell me WHY can't I go on, yet?" Clarabelle was demanding to Mickey.

"Because, uh, the stage is being renovated!" Mickey stammered. He had used every excuse from poor audio transitions, a Goofy cartoon running long, and the last musical act left a hole in the floor. But this excuse aroused suspicion.

"In the middle of a show?"

"Uh… well… you see…"

"We don't want you going on just yet until you have ALL the facts for your article on the fan-art criteria!" Fanatic said quickly.

"The… what?" Clarabelle asked.

"Yeah, all those pictures you showed us were really fan-art others made." Minnie told her.

"We tried telling you earlier. We didn't want you to show them and use made-up stories and hurt everyone's feelings." Daisy added.

"BUT, we decided to help out your article- we went around and interviewed everyone about what they think of all the crossover pairings. We figured you could include them in your article, and let everyone know what THEY think of them." WG put in.

"Yeah, you could call it, 'Fan Art: The Characters Input.'" Fanatic added.

Clarabelle looked at her notes, then theirs. "Oh my gosh… I feel like such an idiot! Thanks for telling me all this. I would've ruined everything!" she said.

"You can go on now, Clarabelle, now that you know." Mickey said.

"Yes, but first, let me get the whole story straight."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**11:30 PM.**

"And now with the word on the street, here's Clarabelle Cow!" Mickey announced, stepping off stage as Clarabelle sat on her stool.

"Ooh, do I have a story for you all!" Clarabelle exclaimed. "We all know about all this fan-art that goes around the internet, and how so many fans either love it or bash it. Tonight, we're going to discuss what so many characters think of the fan-art and fan-videos they've been included in! Such as this picture of the Disney Princesses bald- some poke fun at it, but what they don't realize was this was one's fan's way of showing support for cancer victims,"

All the Disney Princesses nodded at the picture when it was shown. Some laughed, but not that much.

"And what is the deal with so many crossover pairings? While the fans think some of them work, the real characters think they're a threat to their REAL relationships- and don't get me started on what they think of the slash!" A lot of characters booed. "Too right! Fans, have any fantasies you want, but leave us out of it! And why is Jim always a victim?"

Everyone watched from backstage. "Well, we managed to save the day once again," Fanatic said. "The crowd isn't trying to kill anyone- and no nose-bleeds!"

"Yeah, we managed to work things out without any setbacks!" WG said.

"…And now, just for a special treat for you ladies out there, some fan-art of your men… in ANIME FORM!"

"Oh no."

On the screen showed an AMV of some anime fan-art of all the Disney guys. A lot of the women cheered, while the guys argued which of them looked hottest…

And WG was holding her face. "WG, what's wrong?" Fanatic asked.

"I forgot! Anime-styled cartoons make my blood rush too! Too… much… it's too much! NI!" she then bolted out the door.

"LOOK OUT! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Donald cried.

*SPLURGE!*

Everyone cringed. "And she denies being a fan-girl," Fanatic scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"*sigh* I'll call a blood-donor…" Daisy muttered.

_WG: And from that day forth, I never looked up Disney fan-art ever again._

WG lied in the middle of the street, blood splattered everywhere. "Dang it…" she groaned.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: You were warned.

Please review… and unless you can handle the blood-loss through your nostrils, stay AWAY from the extreme fan-art!


	11. Ep 9: We Represent The Hub

WE STILL OWN NOTHING WHY!?

WG: I wish I knew.

0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

_Inside a darkly lit room…(note: NOT Stephanie Meyers' house)_

A group of figures sat around a table, each with a light on the Table in front of them. One of them stood up, and then began speaking.

"The Council of the HUB shall now come to order." The person said, banging what appeared to be a hoof on the Table.

"Hear, Hear." The others said.

"Today's concern is this invitation which we received from the House of mouse in Toontown."

"WHAT!?" All of the others gasped.

"But that place is for Disney Characters only!" A male voice broke out from the others.

The head of the Council nodded, as a letter floated in the air in front of her. "It states that, 'Due to the Censor Monkey's telling us we should invite characters of other cartoon companies, we have decided to ask you, the most recent Children's television network, to come and visit us at the House of Mouse.' "

"We should send a representative…..I say Chris."

"WHAT DAN!? You can't be serious!"

"Shut up Monkey face."

Suddenly the lights went on, reveling Princess Celestia, Dan, Chris, Blythe Baxter, Raiden Pierce Okamoto, Strawberry Shortcake, Tenderheart Bear, Lucky, Snake Eyes, and Chief Charlie Burns.. At the far corner of the Room, the imposing sight of Megatron with his finger on the light switch, glared at them with a smirk on his faceplate.

"Don't tell me you thought that you could just walk in here, and hold a meeting without me did you?" Megatron asked with a chuckle. "I'm surprised at you all to think that you could slip past Soundwave's sensors."

Celestia growled, while Dan called out. "IT WAS ALL THEIR IDEA! Besides that, Chris dragged me here against my own free will while I was planning my revenge on someone!"

"Dan you don't blow up a plane to get revenge!" Chris scoffed.

Megatron let out a loud laugh. "You actually think I would be mad, upset, but more concerned …you're where the Insecticons sleep you do know that right?"

Everyone looked to see a MASSIVE Insecticon hive, of which all of them were awake...and looking hungry. Hardshell though just looked ticked. "Okay first I get killed off, and now NO ONE WILL LEAVE ME ALONE!" he groused.

The entire group rushed outside as the door closed. Megatron grinned. "And this is why you need to make sure you know where you are holding your meetings." Then he saw the letter lying on the floor, and he scooped it up before anyone could react. "Hmmm." He turned to face Celestia. "Is this real?"

The Princess groaned and then sighed. "It is, we were talking about sending a representative,"

"I accept."

"WHAT!?" Everyone said, suddenly looking angry…until Megatron pointed his gun at them all..

"Remember whose ship your on." He sneered evilly. Soundwave walked up to him and Megatron turned to him. "Get them all off the ship, find me Shockwave.. and then respond to this letter."

"It was actually an E-Mail." Chris pointed out.

"THEN HE'LL RESPOND TO THE EMAIL!" Megatron roared into his face.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

And now back to the plot that most of you care about.

Fanatic blinked and shook his head as he stood outside with WG, thankfully he had no plans to cause harm to her anytime soon, and she apologized nicely (referring to that 'Host' chapter). And the Darkwing Duck episodes were in Production order.

"I feel, like something involving a favorite character of mine that will impact the plot later on just occurred." He said to WG and Max.

"You should know." WG said "You're the one who's coming up with the chapter, and the opening which I really don't get…for example, WHAT THE HECK IS AN INSECTICON!?""

Fanatic pointed a thumb at his Co Authoress. "Out of the loop involving Transformers folks."

WG rolled her eyes. "First my boyfriend says I should catch up on Doctor Who, now I gotta look up Transformers stuff."

"Could be worse- you could be forced to look up Twilight." Max joked.

Suddenly Mickey let out a loud scream of shock. "Do you SEE what happens when you mention that God-forsaken series?!" Fanatic snapped at Max.

Within a second, WG and Fanatic had barged into his room, they found Mickey hiding underneath his desk.

"What's the matter boss?" WG asked. "Have the Knock offs returned?"

"I hope not, there not due back until Episode 13 or 14!" Fanatic said to the reader.

Suddenly something crawled across Mickey's desk, a spider. "AHHHHH!" Fanatic shrieked as he jumped in WG's arms. WG deadpanned, and dropped him to the floor. "Seriously guys…a spider?" The spider crawled in front of her. "EEK! DIE, SPIDER!" she then swung a sledge-hammer down upon it, and it stumbled off-set, dazed.

Mickey blinked. "No that's not I'm afraid of, you guys burst into my room like you were some angry Spider Man fans!"

"Not my fault you guys killed him off." Fanatic said.

"I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!"

"Funny/ Derrick Wyatt said the same thing about the Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated Series finale."

WG grabbed Fanatic by the scruff of his shirt. "I TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THAT DISGRACEFUL SPIN-OFF UP!" She screamed.

"Mommy." Fanatic whimpered.

Mickey sighed, as he pointed to his computer. "I sent this to the Characters at the Hub, and this is the response I got back."

The E-mail was a video, which Mickey than clicked on and it played, showing the Face of Transformers Prime Megaton.

"Greetings insects of the House of Mouse, we at the HUB have decided that some representatives shall be sent to look over your club, as such: Myself, My Communications Officer Soundwave, and My scientist, Shockwave shall be arriving within one week. Until then…" Megatron said and the video ended.

WG and Fanatic just stood at the video, then Fanatic breathed in through his teeth. "We're dead."

"Why? I thought he was one of the good guys." WG said.

Fanatic looked at her like she just took an extra helping of crazy-pills. "Dear lord, woman, you have SO MUCH TO LEARN!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Later Mickey was addressing the clubs staff, and he had told them everything, the reactions were what you expect, especially after what happened with Minnie and Fanatics Transformers.

"MICKEY MOUSE! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU INVITE AN EVIL ALIEN OVERLORD HERE?! FANATIC'S GUY ROAD HAZARD WAS BAD ENOUGH AND HE WAS A _GOOD_ GUY!" Minnie shouted.

"They'll crush us flatter then I've ever been crushed before….and then they'll take me back and fry me up and then eat me!" Donald said, mainly because he bought tabloid newspapers.

"I'll kill you Mickey Mouse if- instead of them signing my book- they destroy it." Daisy quipped.

"This will make a GREAT GOSSIP THOUGH! 'Mickey Mouse killed by those who were his employees of the club, right before Deceptions raze said club to the ground!''" Clarabelle said happily.

"How do I know that they won't use that magic cube thingy on my projector!?" Horace said, and then at once the rest of the staff began talking and arguing all at once.

Mickey sighed as he turned to face Fanatic, noticing that WG was absent, as well as Goofy and Max. "umm…" Mickey said about to inquire when Fanatic said, "They went to see FF2 and their relatives one last time before getting destroyed."

Mickey sighed. "I don't get it. Why do they act like they are going to get killed? All they have heard is what they have seen in commercials and those live action movies!"

Fanatic smirked. "Actually seeing as how it's Transformers Prime…..its an even bigger problem. But you're in luck Mickey,"

Fanatic then suddenly reached into his back pocket and pulled out all of the Transformers Prime episodes on DVD, and then a laptop from out of nowhere set to the Site. "You've hired a transformers expert!" he pulled Mickey close. "Now, here's what we can do…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Less than a week later everything had been set…. Sort of, they had stockpiled enough energon, as Fanatic called it…to power thirteen Unicron's for the next 3,000,000,000 years, and that that energon was just the Welcome Present.

They had made an extra, extra, extra, extra, extra, EXTRA large Table to accommodate Chernabog and all of the giant toons in the club and they would still have enough room to place all of their feet on the table, and everything had been reinforced.

Soon the big night had arrived,. And everyone was really tense though they wouldn't show it.

"Did you know that Cops crack jokes and make strange comments in real life?" Fanatic asked a terrified WG, while he was calm, for some reason given his likening of Transformers, everyone was scared crapless.

"Why?" WG asked, shaking.

"T keep them sane…no really my Real Life Counterpart told me that cops do it to keep themselves sane."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"Huh, learn something new every day… so Fanatic how will these guys show up? Will they fly in like Aladdin does on carpet?"

"No, they will most likely show up on stage."

"…..so why are we here instead of inside the club?"

"That would be a good option wouldn't it?"

Both Authors stood there for a few more seconds and then took off running into the club dashing until they came to the stage where Mickey was addressing the club.

"Hey there everybody, we've got a great show tonight, but that's not all we have some new visitors coming tonight!"

The crowd cheered. "Please let them be anime, please let them be anime…" Arietty was silently hoping.

"Please don't let it be Garbage Pail Kids, please don't let it be Garbage Pail Kids…" Kermit at the Muppets table was silently praying.

"It's Megatron and Shockwave from Transformers," Mickey announced…

…and everyone in the room practically went into shock. (Lambert the sheepish lion practically fainted).

"Don't worry anyone they are not to Dangerous, and Fanatic has assured me that, he has everything planned out for their…."

As he finished speaking he heard what sounded like a portal opening. Behind him a swirling green vortex had appeared.

"Mother." Was all that Mickey could say.

Minnie, bit her nails; Goofy, looked ready to pee himself; Clarabelle was jotting down notes; WG had her machete ready, and Fanatic…was drinking a Root Beer.

He turned to the reader, "What do you expect? May I remind you of _my_ OC's from last time?"

Soon, a figure emerged from the Vortex, a bright Sliver with Purple Highlights, Red Optics, and a large Purple cannon on his right arm. Followed by a Mech who if he put on a suit would look like Slender man with a screen for a face, and bulky Decepticon with one optic and a cannon for an arm.

Megatron soon stood over Mickey Mouse, towering over him. "Hello there Mickey Mouse, I am Megatron leader of the Decepticon Army, and I thank you for inviting me to your humble club."

Mickey could feel about 1,000 eyes glaring at him. "he he." He said lamely.

Megatron let out a deep booming laugh, and then he gestured to those behind him. "Allow to introduce my Chief Scientist, Shockwave, and my Communications officer, Soundwave."

Soundwave, was noticeably playing Battlestar Galactica on his visor screen, until Megatron growled at him, and he shut it off, and Shockwave just looked over the crowd.

"Well….this is odd, I feel like I stepped into a nuclear waste dump with all of these odds of people with such bright colors, it is illogical for some of these beings to even be alive, furthermore," Shockwave said.

SLAP!

CRASH!

Shockwave rubbed his helm as he had been backhanded into the screen for the club, cracking it slightly. "ow." Shockwave said as he got up and then went to his knees. "Forgive me Lord Megatron."

Jafar turned to Hades. "Where Can I get one of those?" Jafar asked.

"I think at Wal Mart." Hades replied.

Jafar, then pulled out his wallet. "How much are they?"

"How should I know? I don't go to Wal-Mart that much." Hades said.

Megatron looked down at Mickey, "I trust that proper seating accommodations have been provided for us?" he asked.

Mickey raised an eyebrow confused for a second as, while he knew what it meant, he was still on Mickey Mouse Club House mode meaning that big words were challenging for him at the moment.

"He means a proper sized Table." Shockwave said.

"I think I see one." Another voice said. They three Decepticons turned to see a slim Sliver Transformer with wings….half of the girls in the club went,

"SQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, IT"S STARSCREAM AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

WG Deadpanned. "SERIOUSLY! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS LITTLE TO NOTHING ABOUT TRANSFORMERS AROUND HERE?!" she bellowed. "…and from what I understand…why does he have fan girls?"

"He's the Decepticon Loki, that and his Armada Incarnation REALLY set the bar for Fangirlism over Starscream." Fanatic replied.

WG looked at him Shocked and confused, "You know this, and yet you have no shame?"

Fanatic looked down and then dug his toe into the ground, having taken off his shoe for some reason, actually it was to pick at some eczema that the real Fanatic had on his ankle and it ended up on fan-fic Fanatic's.

"I read the fanfics with him in it…I SWEAR THAT ALL! IT SAID THAT IT WAS A BETTER VERSION OF TRANSFORMERS ENERGON!...and I never said I didn't have any shame."

"SAY IT!" They heard Starscream cry.

"ALL HAIL STARSCREAM!" All of the girls screamed. Starscream was performing a very strange dance routine which we have too much dignity to describe…

(Calvin: Since when do you guys care about dignity?)

(WG: Since when are you allowed to interrupt the story?! *kicks Calvin out*)

"OH YEAH THE SCREAMER IS IN THE HOUSE!" Starscream yelled out. Megatron face-palmed, Soundwave was visibly shaking and Shockwave was aiming his gun at Starscream's head.

"WOO!" Fanatic cried happily. "THIS IS GONNA BE FUNNY!" HE then pulled out some Popcorn and began eating it.

BEW!

ZAP!

BOOM!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Starscream yelled as he flew across the club and into a wall.

"Were doomed." Mickey said. While Fanatic and WG broke down in laughter.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile at the Club Entrance, Pete, (who was having his car and entire bone structure fixed after that safe landing on him in the first chapter) was watching and he chuckled evilly. "Well, Well, Well, looks like that Mouse has some destructive machines on his hands." he said. "This is my chance to drive this place out forever- after all they can't have a club without a club."

"MUAHAHAHAHH!" He began laughing and then he turned and saw Starscream's head next to him.

"You know that one boy was right- you really are like my son if I got a fat dog pregnant." he commented.

"GRRRRRR!" Pete growled and he rose his fist angrily. "Why I outta-"

"You'll what? I'm made of metal, you can't hurt, me you cannot even scare me- I am Starscream, and nothing scares me."

Then he was suddenly pulled out of the hole by Megatron. "Starscream, as you have decided to come along with us, you'll be seating with us as well, CLOSELY with us." He snarled.

"H….h….how close?" Starscream whimpered.

WG then walked up to Fanatic, careful not to trip over the fan-girls that were passed out on the floor. "So What now Fanaticiumus Prime Leader of the Autobots?" She asked sarcastically,.

"First off, don't call me that. Second just keep energon in constant supply and whatever you do _don't show them to ending to Dark of the Moon."_

"Why…..and should I be concerned if this is your advice to keep the Decepticons happy?"

"Because Megatron gets his head and spine ripped out, Shockwave gets his side punched out and his eye torn out through his throat, Soundwave gets his head destroyed by Bumblebee and Starscream gets beaten by Sam/ Shia Lebouf."

"Meh. I've written worse in my fanfics- ever see a ghost-werewolf stick its claws through Freddy Krueger and rip him apart, then listen to my sister since a poor parody of a 'Grease' song?"

"And that's why I love discussing violence with you." He said with a teasing smirk, "And whatever you do NOT mention Shia Lebouf to Starscream."

WG snorted and then let out a laugh. "I'd not want to hear that name if another version of me got killed by a former 'Even Stevens' star… yet still, I miss that old series. OH 90's DISNEY CHANNEL, HOW I MISS YOU SOOOOO!"

Fanatic cringed. "And, uh… try not to get emotional over your nostalgic childhood."

Unbeknownst to them Pete had been listening in, a grin on his face. "So they don't like the third movie eh?"

He then pulled out as copy of Transformers 3 and then laughed. "Well then looks like we've got a movie to watch tonight."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

As the cartoons played Pete up the the projector room where Horace was sitting getting ready to pick the next cartoon. "Now Let's see here hmmm...Mickey's railroad is a good one, but Toy Tinkers is a classic."

Suddenly there was a loud clang, as Horace fell over onto the ground, stars flying over his head. "Tinkle Tinkle little star..."he said before he passed out.

Pete let out his trademark villain laugh as he placed the disk into the projectors DVD slot...and he pressed 'play'. Right before everyone's eyes the cartoon switched the scene in Transformers Dark of the Moon, where Sam stuck a bomb in Starscream's optic, and then his head blew up, followed by Soundwave getting blasted into scrap by bumblebee, Prime tearing Shockwave's eye out through his throat and MEgatron getting his head and spin ripped out.

Everyone was staring at the screen with eyes the size of saucer plates.

Pete laughed. "Ho boy, this is going to get really good!" He said rubbing his hands together as he saw MEgatron stand up, and fling the table onto grumpy at the same time.

":OUCH!" The dwarf yelled out as he was crushed. Megarton stormed up to Mickey who had ran on stage. "Was that your idea of a joke mouse?! BECAUSE IT WAS NOT FUNNY!" Megatron roared at him.

Mickey Let out a gulp. "I can assure Mr. Megatron that it wasn't our intent- you'd have to um take it up with Horace he's the projection manager." Mickey said quivering.

"He lies." Shockwave said and reached into the projection booth. "I have looked up images of this Horace."

Shockwave held Pete up for all to see, the DVD case for Dark of the moon fell from his fingers into Fanatic's hands...he looked pretty peeved off as well. "Okay I can accept that your a villain but stealing from me is crossing the line!"

Pete found Mickey, WG, who had shown up just to beat him up, Fanatic and the Decepticons glaring at him. "Heh...oops."

In less than five seconds Pete found himself flying to the moon.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he crashed landed, where Sentinel Prime stood looking down at him.

Sentinel looked at the audience. "I know he's a loved *Somewhat* villain...so I'm going to eat him just to be a jerk."

"Why are you on the moon anyway?" Pete asked.

"Ironhide Fanboys won't leave me alone." Then Sentinel saw a space ship with said Autobot's fan club inside of it. "AUGH THEY FOUND ME!"

And with that he went tearing across the lunar landscape.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Back at the House of Mouse, Megatron was backstage with Mickey. "Well, mouse, despite that little incident, we have enjoyed our stay." he said. "You have passed our inspection."

_Oh thank God Almighty, Hallelujah joy to the world! _Mickey wanted to shout, but only let out a relieved sigh. "Glad to hear it. So, I suppose you'll be coming back more often?" he asked… hoping the answer would be 'no'.

"Perhaps, but right now we're heading to the Nickelodeon area to try to boost the network's ratings with a show that people would actually WANT to watch, rather than another Lord-forsaken Spongebob episode." Shockwave scoffed.

"It could be a while." Starscream added.

"According to my calculations… there's no hope." Soundwave finished.

"Here is our final report," Megatron said, giving Mickey what looked like a report-card.

"An 'A' minus?" Mickey asked. "But, I thought you said you enjoyed yourselves?"

"Do you want me to lower it?"

"Er… still a passing grade."

"Good. Now, lets blow this joint," With that, they left.

"Wow, and we were all scared out of our wits for nothing!" WG commented. "For a moment, I thought something horrible was going to go wrong!"

"ALRIGHT, BRONIES! HAVE AT IT!" They heard Shockwave shout… and there was a stampede as a bunch of Bronies came running to the house.

Fanatic gave WG a glare. "You had to say something, didn't you?" he sneered.

WG only cringed. "I didn't think they were that evil…"

He only face-palmed. "Woman… you have so, SO much to learn… Just go get the riot shields! …Oh, and while you're at it, tell Mickey we need to set up certain character restrictions!"

WG saluted then ran off, while Fanatic whipped out another root-beer and a shot-gun loaded with horse tranquilizers, blasting them at the Bronies and forcing them to drop in the street, snoring.

"The things we do for fanfiction,"

**The End.**

0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: All in favor of getting a raise, say 'Aye'!


	12. Ep 10, Gaston the Host

And now for a new chapter. Bring on the funny!

Disclaimer: We still own nothing… but if anything's for sale, we'll take it!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

*Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!*

WG hit the 'off' button on her alarm clock. "Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed, then ran over to the calendar. "OH my gosh!" She then raced down the street, towards the House of Mouse for her Security Guard shift. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh…!"

She reached the club, where she ran in circles around Max and Fanatic.

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!" she then gripped Fanatic by the shirt. "OH MY GOOOOOSSSSSHHH! *Squee!*" she then raced inside.

"Um… what the heck was THAT all about?" Max asked Fanatic, totally confused.

"Oh, ever since Mickey started to allow cartoons from other networks into the club, WG has been trying to get some of her cartoon friends to come visit," Fanatic said. "And they finally said they'd come tonight."

"Who are they?"

"If you know WG as well as I do, you should know who it is."

Max thought about it, which didn't really take long. "Let me guess: the Fangface gang?"

Fanatic gave a nod. "The Fangface gang."

"OH MY GOSH!" WG exclaimed at the top of her lungs, popping up behind them as she did and scaring them up into the air.

Fanatic was clinging onto a street light for dear life, while Max hung onto a telephone line. "She must be a big fan," he quipped, sarcastically.

"How can you tell?" Fanatic scoffed, sliding down to WG… who was hopping up and down in excitement like a five-year-old going to Six Flags. "Alright, WG, calm down!" he grabbed her by the shoulders… but ended up hopping as well as if he were on a pogo-stick with blonde hair. "Duh! Be! Yu! Gee! That's! Ee! Nuff!"

"I! Can't! Help! It! Fan! At! Ic! I'm! Too! Ex! I! Ted!" WG said, then finally stopped bouncing.

"I know, but PLEASE just calm down!"

"How can I calm down when I'm feeling so UP!" WG's feet suddenly turned into little rockets, and she shot up into the air…

…Fanatic still hanging on. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

_Up in space…_

An astronaut was hovering outside his spaceship, when the two authors shot by like a comet. "MOMMY HELP!" Fanatic screamed.

"Uh, Houston? We have a problem," the astronaut said.

_Back on earth…_

Max looked up, blinking a couple times. "Wow… normally Fanatic is the more hyper one," he said to himself, then let out a sigh. "Well, this is going to be one heck of a night."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Max didn't know how right he was.

Inside Mickey's dressing room, the famous mouse sat at his dresser, Pluto at his side… Yeah, Pluto's in this fic too, didn't you notice? Anyway, the host was quite stressed- well, more stressed than he had been since Chapter One.

Last week, as a way to earn more money to pay for the bills AND because they figured Mickey could use some time-off, the staff came up with an idea for a contest- for ten dollars, any guest could enter their names in order to win the prize of being the host for this week, using any theme, running any of their favorite cartoons, and choosing any kind of entertainment. Well, sure enough, every toon in the place paid up to 10-100 dollars in order to win such an opportunity.

The only downside was, the villains were allowed to enter as well… and one of them won.

"Gosh, Pluto, you think this was a good idea?" Mickey sighed, his voice wavering.

Pluto whimpered, shaking his head 'no'.

"I didn't think so… and it's too late to call it off now. Well… maybe it won't be all bad. At least we've got Fanatic and WG to help… and on the bright side, Calvin didn't win."

"Yeah," Pluto panted.

Mickey looked at his watch. "Time for me to go on… Lets pray nothing goes wrong tonight."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are they here yet? How about now? Now? Are they here now? Now are they here? What about now?" WG asked excitedly, she and Fanatic having finished their quick space-venture and were back at their posts.

Fanatic was picking chunks of Saturn's rings out of his hair. "No, stop asking." he sneered. "Why don't you go check the perimeter or something?"

"Can't, too excited to move!"

"You're bouncing up and down like a flipping bouncy-ball!"

"Doesn't count. You go check!"

Fanatic sighed, then turned to Max. "Make sure she doesn't leap up and put a hole in Jupiter,"

Max walked over to WG, attaching chains and cinder-blocks to her feet to keep her weighed down. "On it." he said. "Hey, see who won the contest while you're in there, too."

"Will do," Fanatic walked into the club, just as Mickey was announced on stage.

"And now, here's your host for the next minute and a half, Mickey Mouse!" Mike announced, and the spotlight shined on Mickey.

"Hello, everybody! Welcome to the House of Mouse!" Mickey said. "Now, last week, we asked you all to fill out your names and enter our contest to be the next host for tonight! Well, I'd like to say that many of you would be great at the job, but there's only one winner…"

"GET ON WITH IT!" Iago shouted… and Genie zapped his beak so that it was strapped shut with duct-tape. "Mmf!"

"Thanks for that, Genie. …Well, without further ado, say hello to your host for the night (drumroll, please)…"

Hewey tapped his sticks on the drums.

"Here he is… Gaston!"

Gaston then stepped onto the stage.

The reactions were typical: A lot of people did spit-takes, many gasped, some shrieked, his three fan-girls swooned while Lefou held up a foam finger with his name on it, and Belle and the Beast gave each other worried glances.

Oh, and Calvin was miffed. "WHAT?! NO FAIR! I DEMAND A RE-COUNT! THIS WHOLE THING WAS RIGGED! THIS IS TYRANNY! I OUGHTTA-" he was shouting… until Genie zapped his mouth to cover it with duct-tape too. "Mmf!"

"Thank you, Mickey. I can assure you that this will be a good night to remember," Gaston told Mickey, patting him on the back. "After all… No one can host a show like Gaston."

"Oh, brother…" Minnie muttered from backstage.

"Well, Gaston, now that you're host, what kind of theme do you have in store for tonight?" Mickey asked.

"What else? Hunting." Gaston said, and the audience gave a gasp- and it was no surprise Bambi's Mom ducked under the table. "Now, now, everyone it's not what you expect- I'm talking more about the dangers of hunting and how to keep safe. …For example, take this Donald cartoon!"

A cartoon rolled of Donald going hunting, only resulting in Chip and Dale getting the better of him.

Backstage, Mickey was having a talk with Gaston. "You really had me worried there, Gaston… I thought you were going to cause harm!" he said.

"Nonsense! I may be a villain, but I still respect the way you run this club to help show everyone a good time and keep your guests happy. There's nothing I want more than to serve our guests with great entertainment in a worry-free environment!"

"Oh, good. I'll be in my dressing room if you need anything," With that, Mickey went into his dressing room.

Gaston's grin shifted into an evil smirk, as he placed a chair in front of the door to keep Mickey trapped. "There's nothing I'd want more than to run this club safely… except to fulfill my plan to hunt down every kind of beast in this club- starting with Belle's!" With a malicious laugh, he walked off.

…Not noticing Fanatic had been listening from around the corner. "WHEREVER GIIIIRRRRRRLLLL!" He screamed, running outside. "Wherever Girl! Wherever Girl! Where for art thou Wherever Girl?!"

"Wuh-oh, Fanatic's using Shakespearian code, this must be bad." WG said… being chained down, super-glued, and stapled to the ground, while Max was using a welder to secure the chains into the concrete.

"What's going on?" Max asked, turning off the welder and lifting his mask.

"WG, we've got a major-league problem!" Fanatic cried.

WG gasped. "They ran out of Popcorn Shrimp?!"

"NO! Gaston won the award of being the host… And he just announced his evil plan to hunt down the Beast, and any other creature!"

"OH NO! Bambi's Mom!"

"Darn right Bambi's Mom! What are we going to DO?!"

"Okay, this is simple- he's a host, right? And, like that episode where Pete tried running the club, he thinks it'll be easy, right? Well… we WON'T make it easy for him, he'll decide to quit, Mickey will be back in charge, and then the problem will be OH MY GOSH THEY'RE HERE!"

The Wolf Buggy pulled up, and out stepped the Fangface gang: Biff, Kim, Puggsy, and Fangs. "Hey, guys, how's it- why is WG tied down like a deranged animal?" Biff asked.

"You really have to ask?" Puggsy quipped.

"Guys! I'm so happy you came!" WG stated the obvious.

"BUT, we've got a BIG problem!" Fanatic spoke up. "Gaston won a contest and is now the host for tonight, and he's planning on killing anyone with fangs!"

"What?!" Fangs gasped.

"No, not you. He meant he's going to kill anyone that's a beast… INCLUDING the Beast." WG cleared.

"Oh, great… the night she persuades/threatens us to make a cameo, and it includes a villain trying to whack off anything with fur." Puggsy sneered.

"Why would he do that?" Kim asked. "I mean, I thought the villains here called a truce."

"Only when Mickey's the host! He'll kill anything that is or close to a beast!" Fanatic scoffed.

"…Except those who are beasts on the inside," WG said, then looked at Puggsy. "So you're safe."

He gave her a glare. "Are you going to spend this whole chapter insulting me?" he questioned.

"Ah, I'm just kidding." she then turned to the audience. "Not. …You guys head inside- and make sure Fangs stays human!"

"What do you mean? I'm as human as the next guy!" Fangs scoffed, thumbing at Fanatic… though looked at him and lowered his hand. "…okay, bad example."

"C'mon, we have to make sure catastrophe doesn't strike… which it probably will… but that's why we're security guards!" WG said, then ran into the club… her shoes still stuck in the trap Max had tried to seal her in.

Max looked at it, then sighed. "Next time, I'll just seal her in cement." he muttered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile, Gaston was meeting up with LeFou. "Alright, LeFou, you know the plan." he whispered.

"Sure do, Gaston! They won't know what hit 'em!" LeFou chuckled, then paused. "Um… What was the plan again?"

The villain rolled his eyes. "We lock up all the members of the staff, so none of them can stop us!"

"Oh, right! I got it! …But, why are we doing this? Won't we get kicked out of the club if we get caught?"

Gaston grabbed him by the collar. "Which is why we WON'T get caught! Now get going!"

With that, they split up.

Gaston went back on stage. "Now, for your enjoyment, here's the Red Queen reciting some poetry!" he announced, as the Red Queen stepped on stage.

"(ahem) Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow," The Red Queen was saying. "With silver bells, and copper shells, and red, UNPAINTED, rose."

A few audiences clapped, the queen's deck of cards cheered loudly. "Boo!" the blue caterpillar sneered.

The Red Queen fumed. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" she was then ushered off-stage quickly.

"Eh, yes… well, lets be glad she wasn't reciting limericks." Gaston said. "Now, to stick to our theme, here's a Mickey, Donald, and Goofy cartoon!"

"Hit it, Horace!" Minnie said in her walkie-talkie, then turned to Gaston as he walked over. "Oh, Gaston, have you've seen Mickey anywhere? I haven't seen him since your introduction."

"Yes, Minnie, I think I saw him go in his dressing room there." he pointed over to a door… which had a paper star taped to it, with the word 'Mikky Mowse' written on it.

Minnie arched an eyebrow, walking over to the door. "I don't recall his dressing room being here…"

"Oh, well, he moved out of his other one- something about seeing another spider… and WG using her laser-vision to try to kill it, missing a few times."

"Oh, well that makes sense… though I would think everyone knew how to spell his name right- it was part of the theme of the 'Mickey Mouse Club' a long time ago." she walked into the room… and Gaston locked the door behind her. "Wait a minute… this is the broom closet!"

The star fell off, revealing the title, 'Closet'. Gaston snickered and walked off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are you sure he's in there?" Donald asked as LeFou led him and Daisy to the stage, opening a trap door.

"Oh, yeah. Mickey went down there to check on the new elevator they put in, but it got stuck halfway up and he needs help getting out." LeFou told them, pointing down the trap door. "See, he's riiiight there."

Donald and Daisy leaned over to look down. "I don't see-" Daisy began…

LeFou kicked them both down the trap-door, then ran off laughing!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Oh, Goofy! Could you help me with something real quick?" Gaston called from around the corner.

"Sure, Gaston, what do you need help with?" Goofy asked.

"Just hold still…"

*Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack!*

He walked off… leaving Goofy stapled to the wall. "Hey! What did you need help with?!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Minnie! Donald! Goofy! …Daisy, even?!" Fanatic called as he, WG, and the Fangface Gang looked around. "Crud, where is everyone?!"

"Lets go get Mickey, he should still be stuck in his dressing room like you said!" WG said.

"Why didn't we check there, first?" Puggsy questioned.

"Hey, I'm writing under pressure, here! Just keep an eye on Fangs! C'mon, Fanatic!" The two authors took off.

Puggsy turned to Fangs, who was wearing sunglasses… with actual pictures of the sun printed on them. "Pugs, can I take these off now?" he asked.

"No."

"But it's hard to see!"

"I could tell that when you mistook Cinderella for Snow White. Now, c'mon, lets look around for the staff."

Fangs and Puggsy searched with Biff and Kim, looking around the tables, asking a few characters if they've seen anything, but getting nowhere.

Gaston then stepped on stage, now that the staff at been captured. "Alright, everyone, I have an important announcement." he said. "Tonight's musical entertainment, O'Mally and the Alley Cats, has been cancelled."

"Oh, that's a big surprise! I think I might have a heart-attack and die, from not surprised!" Timon scoffed… and was smacked upside the head by Iago.

"Stop ripping off my lines!" Iago snapped.

Gaston grinned. "Instead, in order to fit our theme, a few friends and mine have found a new source to entertain you all… mostly, ourselves." he announced, then took out his gun. "Tonight, my fellow hunters and I are going beast hunting! Anyone who is or is friends with a monster shall be hunted down and captured! …with the exception of my fellow villains, of course."

"Oh, crap!" Fanatic gasped.

"You go get Mickey and find the others! I'll deal with the antagonist!" WG said, quickly shoving Fanatic off while she approached Gaston.

"Let the hunt begin!" Gaston announced, and a few other villains/hunters grabbed their own weapons, letting out a few battle cries, while the rest of the crowd fled to safety. Gaston smirked, searching the crowd for signs of the Beast… until a laser-blast shot by, an inch from his face.

"HEY GAS-HEAD! OVER HERE!"

He turned, seeing a very angry WG, her eyes red and ready to fire lasers. "I forgot about you. Shouldn't you be outside keeping knock-offs away?"

"My job is to protect this club and everyone in it… and that includes kicking your butt!" She zapped at him again, but he dodged. "Hold still so I can fry you!"

Gaston pulled out a small pistol, shooting at WG-

*Thunk!*

She got hit with a tranquilizer dart, which she plucked out. "Nice try, but it's going to take more than one dart to-"

*Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!*

Several more darts were shot into her. "…that'll do it…" she then collapsed on the ground, and Gaston kicked her off the stage.

Puggsy and Fangs stood in the middle of the room, as the crowd ran around frantic. "What's going on?!" Fangs asked, taking off his sunglasses.

"The host for tonight went nuts, that's what happened!" Puggsy said. "We gotta find the others and-"

"GANG WAY!" Baloo cried as he and a few other animals made a stampede to the nearest exit, trampling Puggsy as they did.

"…find a medic…"

Fangs helped his now-flattened friend up. "Ooh, ooh, we gotta get outta here!" he said, looking around, his eyes falling on a poster for _The Princess and the Frog, _which happened to have the moon on it, and he began to spin.

"Oh, no-o-o-o-o!" Puggsy cried, spinning along with his friend who still had a hold on him.

"Arrroooooooo!" Fangface howled, after he stopped spinning, and began shaking Puggsy. "Gotcha now, Pugs!"

Gaston had leaped off the stage to finish off WG, when he noticed the werewolf. "Now that looks like a good prize for my wall!" he said, then took aim…

*WHAM!*

…until he was hit over the head by a frying pan. "You leave our friend alone!" Kim snarled after hitting him.

"Puggsy! Fangface! Run!" Biff shouted as he picked up WG, and the gang took off.

Gaston rubbed his head. "I'll get those meddling kids for that!" he growled, and ran after them.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fanatic managed to free Mickey. "…And he's trying to kill everyone!" he finished saying as he and the mouse ran around, looking for the rest of the staff.

"I figured that already," Mickey said. "I haven't been in this much trouble since we aired _Mars Needs Moms! _Where's WG?"

"Last I checked, she was about to brutally dismember Gaston… heck, he's probably curled up crying somewhere even as we-"

They stopped when they found the Fangface Gang, with an unconscious WG with them, Fangface pulling out the last of the tranquilizer darts out of her face.

"…never mind."

"Anyone got a plan?" Puggsy asked.

"Yeah- wake up WG and stop Gaston!"

"Why can't you stop him?" Mickey asked Fanatic.

"Dude, he has a whole gang of villains on his side- and taking them out isn't fun when you do it alone! I'm going to call in back-up!" he then took out a cell-phone, dialing.

While he was on the phone, Mickey turned to the Fangface gang. "Do you guys know how to help?"

"Don't worry, we've handled worse. We need a plan, though," Biff said, thinking.

"Excuse me… but, I have a plan." came a voice, and they looked over to see Belle and Beast, Belle being the one who spoke.

"Belle! Beast! You're alive!" Fanatic said, hanging up the phone.

"We managed to sneak off back here while Gaston was busy with WG. We knew he was up to something the moment he stepped on stage, and I did some investigating," she took out the ballot-box for the competition, opening it up. "Look, every paper in here has Gaston's name on it- he cheated!"

"I KNEW IT!" Calvin shouted, running by.

"So what's the plan?" Kim asked.

"Well, Gaston is trying to hunt Beast and a few other creatures, and everyone is too scared to stand up to him and his goons." Belle explained. "We just need to find a way to get everyone on our side and fight back… and there's one thing we can do that will make them angry enough to do so,"

WG came to. "Ugh… did I miss the bus…?" she asked.

"Take it easy, WG, you're still a little delusional," Puggsy said. "Well… more delusional than usual."

"Okay, mommy…" she then zonked back out.

"C'mon, lets go stop Gaston already," Beast said, cracking his fists. "I have a bone to pick with him… and maybe a couple lungs, a liver, a spleen, and a throat."

WG weakly raised her hand. "Don't forget his manhood…!"

"Okay, lets cut to the next scene already!" Mickey said quickly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Gaston searched through the crowd… when he saw Fangface and Beast running by. "You're mine now…" he said, taking aim and firing, but they managed to dodge. "Drat!"

He kept shooting, they kept dodging, until finally…

*BANG!*

"OH MY GOSH!" Fanatic cried. "HE SHOT BAMBI'S MOM!"

Everyone froze, gasping, as they looked over at the mother deer, lying on the floor, covered in blood (no one noticing a bottle of ketchup hidden behind her). "Oh… not again…" she groaned.

"Mother? Mother!" Bambi cried, kneeling by his mom.

His father walked up just then. "I'm sorry, Bambi. But your mother can be with you no more." he said, sadly.

Everyone turned and glared at Gaston- and believe me, you haven't lived until you received a death-glare from a baby deer.

"I-I didn't mean it! I was aiming for the Beast, I swear!" Gaston stammered.

"The only beast I see here is you!" Kim shouted.

"Yeah! You killed Bambi's Mom… I'm not even that evil!" Chernabog snapped.

"Heck with this hunt! If it involves reliving the most tragic part of my childhood, I'm out!" One of the hunters cried, throwing his gun down.

"Ditto!" The rest cried.

Gaston backed away, running for the first exit… only to be intercepted by the now-free staff. "Going somewhere?" Minnie asked, very crossed.

He turned and ran for the next exit, where the Fangface gang stood, the werewolf growling. He looked around, seeing no way out… then saw WG staggering out, and he grabbed her. "NO ONE MOVE! Otherwise, the boy gets it!" he shouted.

"She's a girl!" Fanatic called.

Gaston did a double-take, looking at WG. "Really? …Well, no matter! One move, and I'll blow her head off!"

"If my body wasn't half-numb and my vision wasn't blurry, I'd make this guy pay for turning me into a damsel in distress," WG slurred, as Gaston dragged her towards the exit.

"Pardon me… but would you let my girlfriend go?" came a voice from behind him.

Gaston turned and gasped, seeing FF2 behind him, along with another author-friend, Tracker. "Why should I?"

"Oh, well because…" FF2 then transformed, turning into his werewolf half, Silver. "I'm going to throttle you."

"Me first," Tracker said, then kicked Gaston upside the jaw, releasing WG.

Silver then lunged and swung the hunter around, slamming him into the wall. "I just remembered something!" WG gasped.

Gaston grabbed his gun, aiming it at Silver. "That's it! You're all on my hunting list!" he shouted… until he felt a tap on his shoulder, and he looked…

…seeing that WG had transformed into her werewolf-half, Stalker. "About time I appeared," she said to the audience, then grabbed Gaston by the throat. "THIS is for the trouble you caused." she slammed him onto the ground. "THIS is for trying to shoot my favorite cartoons," she swung him into a dining cart. "And THIS… is for trying to take me hostage!" She then threw him across the room, where he crashed into the wall.

"Gaston, from now on, you are BANNED from the House of Mouse!" Mickey declared.

"I'll take if from here," Beast said, dragging the villain outside, Belle following… there were sounds of violence, until he walked back in, brushing himself off.

The others looked outside, seeing Gaston in a beaten and bloody state. "Good grief, Beast! That's enough to bring this fic up to an M rating!" Fanatic gasped.

"What are you talking about? I just held him up- Belle beat him up,"

Everyone looked at Belle, who shrugged. "What can I say? No one tries to kill the love of my life," she said.

"I here you on that," Silver said, putting his arm around Stalker.

"Okay, next scene before the romance makes me vomit!" Fanatic said quickly… and Tracker nudged him.

"You hush," she said, then turned to the others. "So, what are we going to do, now?"

"Well, first of all, we're going to hire you guys as back-up security guards from now on." Mickey said.

"Especially since WG is still a little loopy," Stalker said, then began to revert human. "Whoop, looks like it's affecting me, too…"

"Speaking of which…" Puggsy held up a picture of the sun, turning Fangface back into Fangs.

"What happened? What did I miss?" Fangs asked.

"The less you know, the lower your therapy bill will be," Tracker told him.

WG stumbled after transforming back, and Silver caught her. "You okay, WG?" he asked.

"...yeah, just need to go lie down for a bit," she said, trying to walk down the hall, swaggering left and right. "_It's a small world, after all…"_

Everyone looked at each other, and shrugged.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Once the mess was cleaned and everyone was assured that Bambi's Mom was really alive, everyone in the club was given a free apologetic gift basket, a continental dinner, and free therapy sessions… as well as getting to beat up the villains who tried to hunt them.

After the club was closed, WG met the gang outside. "Well, sorry for the trouble tonight, guys." she told them.

"Hey, we're just happy that psycho is gone and no one got hurt," Biff said.

"We'll see you next week!" Kim added, and they drove off.

"Well, that night could have gone better," Fanatic said.

"Yeah… well, at least next week will be better," WG added.

"How do you know?" Tracker asked.

"Because… I invited the minions over!"

Suddenly, a swarm of minions ran over, carrying Fanatic off while cheering. "Whoooaaa!" he cried.

"Fanatic!" WG ran after him.

FF2 and Tracker looked at each other, shaking their heads. "Working here is going to be quite interesting…" FF2 said.

Tracker nodded. "…You think we could get the cast of _A Monster in Paris _to come, next?" she asked.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the alley, a shadow fell over Gaston's unconscious form.

An evil chuckle is heard as a figure passes by, and suddenly Gaston is gone.

All that's left is a large footprint with a logo on it.

The logo read: _Tempus._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: Dun dun DUUUUUN….

Review.


	13. Ep 11, Falcon Trouble

We own no Disney characters.

Fanatic: *is holding The Golden Falcon's Copy right* MY PRECIOUS!

o0o0o0o0o00o00o00oo0oo0o0o00

"Yep, this is definitely the work of a bird." WG stated as she looked at the hallway.

"It had been a Normal night at the club...HAD being the word here. Fanatic had gone to patrol the perimeter but when he came back… or should we say _didn't_ that got everyone curious and-"

SPLAT!

"I hate these things." Tracker said as she threw Narrator Smurf out of the club on his white keister "So anyone got any leads as to who did this?"

"Nope." Said FF2, walking up with Mickey,

"We've interviewed everyone with a a bird with sharp claws, we even looked at Transformers G1 Soundwave." Mickey said, and he and FF2 turned around showing claw marks bite parks, punch marks and Bite Marks.

"As you can see he's defensive, especially since Fanatic promised HIM a story arc."

WG slapped her forehead. 'DEAR LORD HE TOOK THAT JOKE SERIOUSLY!?" She snapped. Both FF2 and Mickey nodded yes. "Geez…"

"Anyway..." Said Daisy. "Let's get back to the subject- what exactly happened here?"

They looked at the hallway, which was torn up, dented and had what appeared be a brown, meaty, spicy-smelling substance splattered all over the wall.

"Garwsh!" Goofy said. "Poor Fanatic he must have been KILLED!"

"I doubt we're that lucky." Donald said under his breath until Tracker smacked him. "HEY!"

WG walked over to the wall and placed her hand on the brown substance. She sniffed it, and pulled some of it off and licked it. "Hmm..." She said.

"It's a burrito" She said in a poor Mexican accent. "And judging by the claw marks I'd say that it would have to be an anthropomorphic Falcon wearing a Golden Suit of armor called the Golden Falcon who is mad at Fanatic and wants revenge."

Everyone looked at her in wide eyed Shock.

"Well that didn't take long." Tracker said.

"How did you figure it out so fast?" Goofy asked.

WG showed them all her phone with a text from Fanatic..

"HELP I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY AN OC THE GOLDEN FALCON WHO WANTS REVENGE SO HE KIDNAPPED ME AND SPLATTED MY BURRITO AGAINST THE WALL HE'S LOCKED ME IN A CRATE THAT SMELLS LIKE FARTS THANKS TO MY BURRITO... and I'm 90% sure I'm in the prop room the script to Treasure Planet 2 is here and it looks AWESOME!

Love Fanatic. P.S Tell Soundwave I've got his story arc done."

"Well, looks like we've got another author in distress." Tracker said.

"Who was the first?" Daisy asked.

(_A flashback of Sailor Androm3da and Colin running from deranged hamster over-lords wielding chainsaws is shown, the other authors pursuing with advanced weaponry.)_

. "Long story." FF2 replied.

"Just then Minnie ran…" came a voice

"GET OUT OF HERE!" WG shouted as she hit Narrator Smurf with a crochet mallet, sending the blue moron flying out the door again.

"MICKEY," Minnie said with alarm. "The guests are getting attacked by some weird Falcon in a Gold Suit!"

"Oh gosh, he's going after Darkwing too!" WG said. She looked at Tracker and FF2 and she grabbed her boyfriends arm. "Come on, we need to get moving!"

"Wait what?" Tracker demanded. "Where are you two going?"

"We're going to go and beat the ever loving snot off a Falcon...why?" WG said.

Tracker gave her a deadpanned look. "But I have every Gun Imaginable why am I not coming along?"

"Because you need to find Fanatic!"

"He's trapped in a crate yelling HELP he shouldn't be that hard to find."

"Yeah, but that basement is huge! …Plus your name IS 'Tracker'." WG shouted as she dragged along FF2. "Now, come my love-interest! We have a Falcon to fry!"

"Well I'm off." Tracker said as she pulled out a gun...only for it to suddenly get taken away. "WHAT THE…?!"

Everyone looked up to see the Censor Monkey placing a censored Bar over her gun. Than she felt he gun pack being removed as well.

"What's going on here?" Mickey demanded. "She needs those to get Fanatic back!"

"Well she will be doing it without guns." One of them said.

"Guns are bad they kill people." another said.

"Cannot allow it." said another.

"Simply can not." said another.

"Will never allow it." They said and they zipped off.

Tracker saw Red and she grunted with anger. "Stupid Adam Lanza and his stupid spree and the stupid stupid stupid GAHHHH!" She said and she stormed off.

"Gosh what now?" Goofy asked.

"I guess it's up to us to save Fanatic." Mickey said. He turned to Daisy, Minnie, Horace and Clareabelle. Daisy prepared to say something but Mickey cut her off.

"Horace, you're in charge; Minnie try and get Tracker her guns back; Daisy stay off the stage; and Clareabelle no writing about this." Mickey said as he grabbed Donald and Goofy. "Let's move!" And with that Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Pluto all ran off.

Daisy grumbled as she followed the others to their shifts. "Leaving the horse in charge while there are more girls, typical." she muttered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00

_**SCREECH! **_

The Golden falcon swooped overhead of of the guests once again and landed on a catwalk his eyes scanning the seating area. "Where are you you meddlesome Duck.. AHA!" he exclaimed.

HE swooped in low ready for the kill...except for one thing.

It wasn't Darkwing.

"Umm NegaDuck, LOOK OUT!" Bushroot exclaimed.

The Alternate Darkwing just pulled out a shot gun and aimed it at the Falcon. "SUCK LEAD JERK FACE!" he shouted and let off a few rounds.

But the Golden Falcon just grabbed him and threw him at Ariel, Eric and Melody's table.

"Mother," Melody said. "I think this ducks a little underdone."

The Golden Falcon screeched once again and flew over the crowed, dropped Marahute his phone number and flew back into the wings… right as WG and FF2 burst in.

"ALRIGHT LET'S ROAST THAT BIRD!" WG shouted.

Half of the fowl in the club fainted. including all of the members of F.O.W.L.

"He he, Sorry force of habit."

"So where is he?" FF2 said as he looked around.

They heard a screech as he crashed in front of them and stood two feet taller than FF2.

"You were looking for someone?" The Falcon asked with a sneer.

WG looked him over. "Well you got taller… although that would be biased measurement compared to me." she commented. "I don't get it. You were about the size of Launchpad, if an inch taller… what happened?" .

"I got an upgrade." The Falcon said with a grin as his right arm melted and became a chainsaw.

"Okay could he do that before?" FF2 asked WG.

"Nope.. but if he really thinks that it can make a difference," she said with a grin. "THEN HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!" She shouted as she pulled out her machete and slashed his arm.

CRASH!

Make that...she tried to and her machete broke. She stared at the shattered remains and so did FF2 as the Falcon just stared at them both.

"Are you quiet done yet?" The Falcon asked.

"Nope." FF2 said, whipping out a bo-staff and attacked The Falcon, only to be socked in the mouth and tossed onto Eric's family's table.. again.

"Is this going to be a running gag?' Ariel asked.

The Goldon Falcon let out an evil laugh as he dove at FF2 ready to rip him apart...until that is WG jumped onto his back.

"GIDDY UP YA FALCON! YAH FALCON!" She shouted, placing reigns over his mouth and steered him up so he crashed into the ceiling.

WG however crash landed on Ariel, Eric and Melody's table. Eric began looking around. "There has to be a target on this thing." he sneered.

FF2 pulled WG out of the table. "Are you alright?" He asked, concerned.

"Been through worse.. MUCH worse… did I ever tell you bout the Time Fanatic drank pop and tried to rebuild the Titanic of of swords Knives and other sharp objects?" She asked.

"Okay maybe… but right now we have to find a way to stop this Falcon guy. You said he's Fanatic's OC?"

"Yeah from DARKWING DUCK THE MOVIE!" WG shouted.

"Why did you just shout that?"

"Because Fanatic wrote this and likes to use the CAPS lock… muffins."

"Ah Okay, so how is he defeated?"

"Well Okay what happens is-"

**WE INTERRUPT THIS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR A TEN-SECOND COMMERCIAL BREAK!**

**In a time where all hope is lost, where a dark villain is lurking in the shadows, only one can save him… (image of Falcon and Darkwing facing each other, epically). **

**Darking Duck: THE MOVIE! (A Fanatic97 Production)**

**We now return to our regularly scheduled drabble.**

"…and that's it." WG finished.

"Okay..." Said FF2. "So all we need to do is get Darkwing to help us defeat him."

"Right." WG said. "HEY DRAKE!" She shouted into a bull horn only for Launchpad to walk up. "eh Sorry guys no can do. DW's out for the night. DW from _Arthur _is trying to sue him for using her name!"

"Your kidding me." FF2 deadpanned. "Who would ever listen too that brat?"

"Somebody does." WG said with a grunt.

"Wait Launchpad you fought the Falcon in the movie so you can help!"

"Are you kidding me?" Launchpad asked. "I'm getting out of here! That bird KILLED ME." He than tore off his flight jacket reveling a Hawaiian T-Shirt. "Uhh let me know when this all blows over!"

And with that he ran off, but tossed the keys to the Thunderquack to them.

WG looked at FF2. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so WG, but how are we going to get Sam and Max to appear in our 'Warners: Unleashed' story?"

"Well… that too."

Than they heard a screech and they looked to the Falcon flying at them his arms literally lasers.

"YOUR DEAD AND YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT!" He shouted.

The Two authors began running for their lives.

"Was he like this is the story?" FF2 asked.

"Not really… okay a little, but since this isn't a full fic we can't flash Mr. Goldmember there that much."

FF2 gasped. "WG, language!"

0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o00

Meanwhile in the prop room Mickey and the others were searching for Fanatic.

"FANATIC!" Donald called out. "FANATIC!"

"(Whistile) HERE FANATIC HERE BOY!" Goofy called.

"Ah this is getting us now where he could be anywhere!" Mickey said with a grunt and he kicked a crate.. only for a pile to fall down reveling Fanatic in a leather Jacket, Black pants, shoes a Black Shirt and wearing sunglasses on the other side.

"Well gawrsh, that was easy." Goofy said. "HEY-A FANATIC!"

Fanatic turned and he suddenly raced off.

"Gosh maybe I scared him."

"Doesn't matter AFTER HIM!" Donald cried.

With those words the brave idiots- I mean heroes chased after Fanatic.

…little did they realize the crate read: "WARNING: EXPERIMENTAL CLONE 7-25, DEFECTIVE. DO NOT OPEN! (Calvin, this means you!)"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Back with Minnie, she was trying to reason with the Censor Monkeys. "You must understand, our security guards NEED weapons in order to protect everyone!" she argued.

"Sorry. They'll have to learn how to protect people without them," One monkey huffed.

"What if someone broke into the club, who HAS weapons, but no one could stop them because THEY had no weapons?!"

"People over the ages have learned how to handle it with their brains," Another monkey replied. "It's not like some big, ferocious monster is going to break in, or anything."

"(ahem)" came a voice.

"The censor monkeys turned… and in their sight was a tall, ferocious creature that-"

The she-wolf present grabbed Narrator Smurf, squeezing him tight. "Ruin this story any more, and I'll find out what happens when someone chokes a smurf!" she snarled.

"Uh… bye!" With that, the little smurf ran off.

She turned back to the monkeys, who were frightened. "So… since you Obama supporters don't think we need guns, how about if I just use my claws and fangs to handle things… or would you change your mind and agree that weapons ARE required to handle dangerous situations?"

The monkeys let out panicked shrieks and handed the guns to Minnie. "We can take the threats… but saying we support Obama is going too far!" one of them snapped, then ran off crying.

"Huh, I never thought the authors would include political bashing in the story, too." Minnie replied, then turned to the she-wolf. "And you would be…?"

"Oh, I'm Tracker- in my werewolf form, Tracker." Tracker replied, then grabbed her guns. "Now… what was I about to do?"

*BAM!*

FF2 and WG ran in just then. "The Falcon got an upgrade! We need help!" WG cried.

"And lets hurry- my TARDIS is double-parked!" FF2 said pointing outside.

(Outside, the TARDIS was taking up two parking spaces, with Pete driving by. "OH COME ON!" he was shouting)

Just then, the Falcon arrived- breaking through the ceiling. "HA! I'VE GOT YOU NOW!" he shouted.

"Uh, dude… you were right outside the door. Why did you break through the ceiling?" WG asked.

"Because… well… more for the sake of dramatic entrance, NOW SHUT UP WHILE I KILL YOU! …AND STOP USING THE CAPS LOCK SO MUCH, YOU'RE GETTING AS BAD AS FANATIC!"

"Before you do, can I say something?" FF2 said.

"What?"

He pointed downward. "Your fly is open."

The Falcon looked down, gasping. "Oh dear evilness! How embarrassing, and I was flying all over the club destroying things!" he zipped his fly. "Thank you. …Now then-"

He looked, seeing- while he was zipping his pants up- that they had all took off.

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" he then raced off after them.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Back in the basement, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto were trying to get a track on Fanatic, Pluto sniffing around trying to find his scent… then his face turned green and he passed out. "I think we're getting close- I'M starting to smell him!" Mickey said, turning green as well.

Donald and Goofy donned gas-masks. "Same here," Donald said.

"Fanatic! Yoo-Hoo! Where are you?" Goofy called.

"I'M IN HERE, SUFFOCATING FROM MY OWN BODILY ODOR!" came Fanatic's voice… from inside a crate marked: 'Ship To Madagascar'. "HURRY AND GET ME OUT! THE FLIES EVEN DIED!"

Quickly as they could, they grabbed the crate, pried off the top-

…which turned out to be a mistake.

*PHOOOOOM!*

A large green cloud shot throughout the basement. Several bats dropped from the ceiling, dead from the stink.

Fanatic popped out next, taking in a breath of air. "Air! Fresh air!" he wheezed. "Thanks guys, I thought I'd never breathe again! …Guys?"

He looked around… seeing that they had been blown flat into the wall, their pupils dilated, noses bent upward, and having stunned expressions. (Like Donald in that episode where Pete stuck Pumbaa in the air-duct, fed him stink-bugs, and then Donald had to rush him outside… man that was funny).

Pluto, thankfully, was wearing a clip on his nose and was still conscious, pulling up a respirator. "Thanks, boy. Lets revive these guys, quick… we've got an OC villain to dismantle!" Fanatic said.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Speaking of the Falcon, he was once again in the air. "Where are those idiots?" he groused.

Tracker snuck over to a table, where the Looney Toons were sitting, then whispered something to Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam, pointing upward. "Woo doggy! That's a big one!" Yosemite cried.

"I got dibs!" Elmer said, and they both raised their guns.

*BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!*

The bullets only bounced off the armor… though the Falcon still found it annoying. "OH GOOD GRAVY! NOT AGAIN!" he shouted, swooping down and getting out of the line of fire. "Bad enough I always have to go through it during Hunting Season." He landed on the stage, looking around. "Now where…"

A spotlight shined on him just then, and WG- dressed in a tuxedo- stepped up. "And now for your musical entertainment, THE FALCON!" she announced, then patted him on the back. "Break a leg, dude- don't let your public down!" and she rushed off.

The Falcon stared at the audience, awkwardly, feeling nervous (even the most fearsome villains get stage fright). Music began to play, and he tried to ad-lib. "Uh um… _Oh, I would fly a thousand miles and I would fly a thousand more, just to be the villain to fly two thousand miles just to see you fall… da da dum! da da dum! da-radada-radada-radada…"_

As he sang his poorly-written lyrics, the audience booed, and an onslaught of veggies, fruit, pies, and unidentified processed meat at the villain, forcing him to shut his beak.

"IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?!"

*CRASH!*

Someone threw an entire refrigerator at him, and the door swung open and he stumbled out, off stage. "Everybody's a critic…"

Shaking off his daze, he ran to find those pesky authors and kill them once and for all (oh how _original… _not!). He ran backstage, searching for them, using some heat-seeking goggles to track them down…

"Phone call for the Falcon!" FF2 called, holding up a phone. "It's the Disney Studio- they said you've won the honor of being declared an actual villain and they're going to give you a better movie deal."

"Oh, really?" The Falcon grabbed the phone… not noticing the lit fuse that was the cord. "Hello?"

*KA-BLAMO!*

Luckily the Falcon's suit was also explosive-proof… though now it was slightly blackened, as well as any exposed part to his face. "…why did I fall for that? In fact, WHY am I falling victim to all these mediocre tricks?! I'm smarter than this! I am the FALCON! The most dangerous threat to all! The greatest villain in history! The nightmare for heroes! The… the…"

He paused, looking over and seeing WG was mimicking him behind his back! She stopped, seeing his death-glare, smiled innocently, gave a wave, then took off.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT! YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET DEGRADING MY CHARACTER!" he ran after her, taking a sharp turn-

*CRASH!*

Ending up falling victim to Cartoon Cliché #101: Crashing into a brick wall.

"I despise pointless fillers…" he groaned.

FF2, Tracker, and WG ran to the basement while the villain was trying to get rid of his headache. "Okay, lets go help find Fanatic now," Tracker said.

"You mean like I asked you to do half an hour ago?" WG sneered.

"Asked me? You TOLD me to do it while you and your boyfriend could run along and throw caution to the wind!"

"Is there any other fun way for a couple to spend their weekend?"

Tracker rolled her eyes. "Lets just go,"

They ran to the basement, but by the time they reached the bottom steps, the Falcon swooped overhead, landing in front of them, every piece of lethal arsenal artillery aimed at them. "I've had enough of your games! Prepare to die!" he snapped, then fired-

*KA-BLAM! BANG! POW! ZAP! SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE! CRACK! SNAP! POP! BADA-BOOM! OTHER EPIC SOUNDS!*

Once the smoke cleared, all the Falcon could see was a crater where they had last stood, and then began to laugh manically. "I did it! I've finally did it! I'VE KILLED THOSE AUTHORS!" he shouted.

"Missed." Tracker said, popping up behind him.

"GAH!" The Falcon jumped high enough to hit the ceiling, then turned to them. "What the…?! How the…?! Why are you still alive?!"

"Classic Cartoon Gag #155: Making the antagonist believe they have the heroes defeated, only for the heroes to pop up behind them, unscathed." FF2 said, pulling out a novel labeled 'Da Big Book of Cartoon Tricks'. "Seriously, if they just re-aired the classic cartoons, we wouldn't have to explain all of this."

"AAARRRRRGGGHHH! Enough with the slapstick! I'm killing you, and I won't stop until I do!"

"Boy, does this guy need a hobby." WG quipped.

"ENOUGH WITH THE HUMOR!"

"Sorry, it's the genre of the story." Tracker replied.

The Falcon broke out his weapons again. "No more one-liners! You die now!"

FF2 looked at his watch. "Uh, hold it. We've still got another five minutes to spare." he said.

The Falcon fired, and the authors dodged. "Hmmmm, I don't know why, but I think he's mad at us," WG quipped.

The Falcon approached them. "Say goodbye, you idiotic twits!" he growled.

"Oh, are they going on a trip?" came a voice, and the Falcon turned around, seeing Fanatic standing there, along with Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto. "Because, last time I checked, we weren't booked for any vacation time yet."

The Falcon glared. "You can't stop me! I am undefeatable! My suit is invincible, and has every kind of weapon ever made!"

"…it also has an off-switch." Fanatic pointed at a little button on the Falcon's suit.

The villain blinked. "Was that there before?"

"It is now," Fanatic hit the button, and the suit shut down, rendering the villain disabled.

"Curse your humorous yet lazy solution!"

"Now, what shall we do with him?" Mickey asked, and the authors all grinned.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"LET ME OUT! I CAN'T BREATHE!" The Falcon shouted, having been sealed away in the same box he put Fanatic in… which hadn't aired out yet. "The vapors are KILLING MEEE!"

Everyone exited the basement, while Mickey went on stage and announced the villain's defeat.

"Well, glad all that is over with," Minnie sighed with relief.

"Yeah… but, there's still something I can't figure out," Goofy said, scratching his head. "If Fanatic was locked away in that crate… then who was that other kid we ran into?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Back in the basement, that 'kid' was walking along a line of crates, seeing a whole row full of other 'defective experimental clones'.

He grinned.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: And there's another cliffhanger for you! …Boy, we're just throwing out a lot today, huh? XD

Please review. No flames or I'll eat you!


	14. Ep 12a, Fanatic97 VS Hater79

WARNING: These next two Chapters are MAJORLY extreme and have less comedy and more action...enjoy

We own no Disney Characters

But Fanatic owns the villains.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0oo0o

Down in the Prop room

The Fanatic look alike from last chapter stood before a row of crates, hies eyes gleamed red as he looked at the crates.

"Soon." He said in an electronic voice. "Soon very soon."

From behind him a swirl of shadows appeared along with a set of glowing red eyes. From within the black mass a voice spoke.

"Is everything in place?" It demanded in a booming raspy voice.

The Fanatic look alike turned around, not even fazed. "Of course my master, with the other authors down here, it will leave him open to attack, I will not be preforming the clone cliche, instead an open assault will catch him off guard, why should I ruin his name and than attack?"

The voice chuckled. "This is why I keep reviving you, you always know exactly what needs to be done with the boy! "

The Fanatic look alike laughed. "of course I do, after all, I am practically him already."

"Do what you must i cannot not keep this open any longer without being detected, good luck." And with that the shadow faded away. The Fanatic look alike turned around and beamed at the crates. He raised his hand which glowed bright blue and than he held it high.

The crates began to glow blue as well and the lids fell off reveling more Fanatic look a likes. Some were complete others were just robotic Fanatic's without synthetic skin and some were half with synthetic skin and others with out.

"It begins and ends tonight!" The Fanatic doppelganger said with a grin. "And I'm not gonna laugh cause it's too cliche

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0

Outside the club the authors were standing outside as usual, there was just one problem...

WG looked around with a ticked off look on her face clearly growling about something, her face turned red and tan she screamed out, "WHERE THE HECK IS HE!?" She shouted causing everyone to jump.

Max looked at FF2 and Tracker. "Um who is she looking for?"

FF2 looked at his brother. "Fanatic. They made a bet recently and he lost, so he owes her a night off from security duty."

"What was the bet?" Max asked.

"That she could watch One Episode of Transformers, of her choosing, based off the titles she looked up, and not get confused… she chose an episode in the Middle of the season of Transformers Prime."

"So basically she knew that she wouldn't get it and faked him out than." Max said. "That is GENIUS!"

"Yeah, it would be… YET HE WON'T SHOW UP!" WG bellowed causing an earthquake in Japan.

"Calm down, I'm right here." A voice said. Everyone turned back to see Fanatic, wearing his usual attire...except that he now had a a leather jacket.

"About freakin' time! You were supposed to be here half an hour ago! Give me a reason why I shouldn't-"

FF2 held a muffin in front of her, instantly calming her down.

"…I'll let it slide THIS time. *munch munch munch*."

"guys I need your help there is a problem in the Prop room!" Fanatic said in a slightly monotone voice.

"Now what is it?" Tracker asked. "I've been here only a few weeks and already we've had to go down there five times, Once for the Falcon, one time for the ghost, the other time because Goofy got stuck on a firework, and another time because Dreadwing from TFP got mixed up and lost!"

"look I know that the prop room has been a source of alot of things going on but there is a major problem down there!" Fanatic said. "I found something so important that it could determine weather or not we all die young!"

"I've dealt with these things before, so I can handle it Fanatic." FF2 said. "So what is it?"

"Disney's planning on giving Justin Bieber at TV series!"

Everyone's eyes went wide and Max promptly fainted… and I think an old man had a heart attack across the street.

"WE CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN!" WG shouted as she flung Tracker, FF2 and Fanatic over her shoulder. "TO THE PROP ROOM!"

*BAM!*

She crashed through the wall… instead of using the door… and ran past Daisy who just looked at them. "*Sigh* a typical night as usual" she said, shaking her head.

WG than kicked in the door open to the prop room and deposited everyone on the floor of the stair landing, and whipped out a flame-thrower. "Alright where are they?" she demanded.

"Where are what?" Fanatic said, backing toward the door.

WG, and the others turned toward him. "Umm what are you doing?" Tracker asked.

"What am I doing, what are you doing?" Fanatic stated as he grabbed the door.

"We are looking for the stuff about a Bieber Fever TV show to destroy it!' WG said.

"Oh yeah.. I LIED!" Fanatic slammed the door before any of the authors could do anything more. His arm then turned into a blow torch and he welded the door shut, than bolted it, and than he took a giant slab of diamond and glued it to the wall in front of the door.

'Fanatic' laughed as he press a button on his wrist changing his clothing black and than he slid on a pair of sunglasses. "Now that they are taken care of time to find my worthless counterpart." he said.

He suddenly hard a metallic clicking, he turned to see the REAL Fanatic holding a cybertron laser rifle. "Worthless huh? Then how come it didn't take me that long to track you down?" The real Fanatic scoffed.

Upon finishing the sentence he let loose a large blast from the cannon that struck the FAKE Fanatic dead center in the head knocking it back a few feet. The fake Fanatic looked up some skin torn off reveling a robotic skull but the Synthetic skin quickly grew back over it.

"You came prepared tonight, tell me, why is that you allowed me to trap the others instead of letting them help you?" He taunted as his right arm became a chainsaw blade, the other forming the barrel of a chaingun.

Fanatic put away his blaster and pulled out two blades akin to the ones TFP Wheeljack used. "Because Hater, this is my fight… besides they can take care of themselves. You'd be surprised what FF2 can do with dynamite."

"So be it." Hater said his optics glowing read through his glasses. "NOW PERISH!"

Hater charged toward Fanatic and the author responded by meeting his charge, chainsaws and blades crashes together with Fanatic blocking Hater's chainsaw blades; but Hater in return raised his chaingun arm ready to fire, but Fanatic jumped down and upper cut him causing the blasts to enter the ceiling.. Hater growled and kicked Fanatic knocking him back.

Fanatic got to his feet and in no time was charging once more. Hater raced forward and then to the side to try and confuse Fanatic for a side attack but the author just threw one of his blades- it struck Hater in the right shoulder, right into the part where the shoulder was connected to the torso.

Hater stumbled and looked at his shoulder- the blade had cut in deep, sparks flew and some energon dripped out. Pulling out the blade he tore it in half with his bare hands, he looked up to see Fanatic jumping into the air, and the author decked him in the face.

Hater stumbled as Fanatic's feet hit the ground he was on the move again and this time upper cut the robot in the chin. Hater flew back as Fanatic readied another punch-

Until Hater grabbed a hold of his arms, keeping them from going any further.

"You're improving. Who knows? You may actually put up a good fight this time." Hater said sneering.

Fanatic lowered his eyes. "May?" he asked cyclically. And with that he decked Hater, sending the clone falling to the floor.

Fanatic raised another fist to punch him again, but Hater jumped back up and turned his arm into a blaster. He fired off several rounds while Fanatic charged once more, raising his blade to the side he sliced across Hater's arm where the elbow would be, metal tore against metal as the blade broke as well as Hater's arm.

Hater roared in pain, as Fanatic smashed the blade hilt into his head knocking him against the wall. Hater grunted as he looked up. "Oh tonight's gonna be interesting." He said as he grabbed his arm and forced it back into place. He got up and raised his fits. "Ready for more?"

"Yeah." Fanatic said with a smirk...as he pulled out a giant mallet.

"Okay, now that is just pushing it."

*WHAM!*

Hater went sailing across the room, into the wall and out the next one. Right next to Clarabelle Cow.

"Fanatic, what are you doing busting through walls like that?' She asked. "You do realize that you could of hurt me and would have made me miss my gossip corner tonight- the only part of the show that really matters."

"OH SHUT IT YA OLD WING BAG!" Hater shouted.

Clarabelle stepped back offended. "Why Fanatic!" She gasped.

"HEY HATER!" Fanatic called. "PILE DRIVER!" The author screamed as he jumped ready to slam him but Hater caught him and proceeded to bash him into the wall, much to Clarabelle's confusion.

"Two Fanatics...EQUALS TWICE THE STORY!" She cried out.

Fanatic slumped slightly in Hater's grip as he looked at him. Hater than grinned and reared his fist back and punched him. Fanatic flew back and wiped some spit from his mouth, but looked up as Hater charged once again to deck him once more. Fanatic blocked his arm with his own and twisted Hater around. A metallic *thud* sounded out as Hater's head smashed into the ground.

Hater suddenly got up and sucker punched Fanatic in the gut. Fanatic heard a *crack* from one of his right ribs. He stumbled back and Hater socked him once more knocking him into a wall. Fanatic groaned as Hater grabbed him by the shirt.

"Any last words?" Hater asked.

"None that aren't under an M rating!" Fanatic sneered.

"Smart kid." Hater mocked, and than punched him once more.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o

"MICKEY, MICKEY, MICKEY, MICKEY, MICKEY, MICKEY!" She shouted as she ran until she saw the mouse and Pluto and Minnie.

"MICKEY, MICKEY, MICKEY, MICKEY, MICKEY,MICKEY!' She shouted in his face.

Mickey grabbed Clarabelle. "Calm down Clarabelle! Now what seems to be the matter?" he demanded.

"Mickey, I have big news! Big big big big big big _big_ news!"

"As big as news as when The Autobot Acree was feeling sick and you claimed she was pregnant and Megatron was the father?" Minnie sighed.

"Or that most of the patrons were holding a Frank Welker voice actor reunion?" Mickey stated.

"Or what about when you said Ron Stoppable was Deadpooll in disguise- and let's not forget the SLASH thing." Minnie added.

"Ruff ruff, bark woof," Pluto put in.

"Trust me Mickey, I may have had my flops in the past, but I assure you I saw what I saw- why it even called me an old wind bag!" Clarabelle told them.

"I think Elmer Fudd called you that." Minnie pointed out.

"FANATIC HAS A TWIN!"

"What? Clarabelle you've made up stories in the past, but that just sounds ridiculous."

"Well Minnie." Mickey said, thinking back to the last chapter. "That would explain where that Fanatic looking kid in the prop room came from.. tell you what Clarabelle, I'll look into this matter myself."

"Oh no Mickey you shouldn't! They are having a family dispute at the moment. Why Fanatic even tried to pile drive his twin.. he uh.. failed miserably I might add." Clarabelle said, cringing at that last part.

"Clarabelle are you sure you didn't mistake WG for a boy again?" Minnie asked softly.

"WG's not a boy!?" Clarabelle asked shocked.

Mickey face palmed. "This had better not be our next running gag." He muttered under his breath.

"MICKEY!" Horace shouted as he ran in. "Fanatic and uh.. Fanatic are tearing up the CLUB!"

"WHAT!?" Both Mouse's screamed.

"Told ya so." Clarabelle said.

"What have they been doing?" Mickey demanded.

"Well actually not much. I just came down here after I saw Fanatic fly into a table and the other one ready to attack him...reallyI just said it as precaution considered his already destructive behavior."

CRASH!

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN MURDER YOU!" They heard one Fanatic shout.

"Good precaution." Mickey put bluntly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00

Fanatic dove under an empty table as laser blasts scorched the surface. As he hid Hater smashed down onto it and ripped it in half...to see the barrel of Fanatic's gun pointed at him.

Hater grunted as he looked at the seven now angry dwarfs. "What?"

"You know what? You knocked us over!" Doc snapped.

"Really well than.. SHOVE IT UP YOUR TAILPIPE!" Hater roared in their faces.

After he said this Fanatic came flying and kicked him to the floor, knocking him flat, but he once again got up and began grappling with Fanatic. His arm shifted into a taser and he got Fanatic in the chest. The author screamed and than stumbled back.

He then found a fist flying at him, with a loud *CRACK* Fanatic hit the ground. He moaned as he stumbled to his feet coughing, and Hater kicked him in the gut once more.

Fanatic stumbled once more but he managed to block Hater's fist and flipped him over, sending him crashing down an The Mad Hatter and March Hairs table. "Is there tea in there?" He asked pointing at Hater, and he opened the robots mouth and.. pulled out a teacup.

"Why by Jove, so there is!' The March hair said happily.

Hater just stared at them with a an angry, 'WTF?' expression.

He stumbled to his feet just as Fanatic sucker punched him once more, but this time Hater grabbed the fist, an angry glare on his face. and than he twisted it down slamming him into the floor. Fanatic moaned as Hater lifted him up his optics glowing bright red again.

But Fanatic was once again ready and kicked and nailed Hater in the side of the head knocking it to the side and than he grabbed his head and smashed it against the Mad Hatter's table and then he threw Hater back into Aladdin and Jasmine's table.

"AH!' Jasmine shrieked as she stared at Hater, his head clearly having been twisted around 180 degrees and his spin should have broken.

"If I was human.. THIS WOULD HURT!" He shouted, then stood up and twisted his head back around and turned.. right as Fanatic decked him once again. This time he wrapped his hand around Fanatic's wrist and his arms and twisted it, this time there was another crack, and Fanatic grimaced holding back a yell.

"Aladdin do something!" Jasmine said. "I think that Fanatic is about to get killed!"

"I Would Jazz, but I can't tell who is who!" Aladdin admitted.

"Really, Aladdin? REALLY!?" Iago said.

Suddenly Fanatic's eyes burst opened he tore his arm from Hater's grip. He looked around, he knew that this fight would devastate the club at this rate… so he did they only thing he knew he could do.

He ran. Literally.

He tore out of of the club so fast that there wasn't even a trail of dust, leaving everyone and Hater surprised.

"Boy he's agile for someone's who had an arm cracked and a couple of ribs broken." Hades pointed out.

Hater let out a growl and his entire left arm shifted, the clothes followed back as part of the synthetic skin as his arm transformed into a large BFG, Cybertronian style. His right arm that became a machine gun with bullet trail. "Right. He thinks he can run… well he's got another thing coming-"

"Excuse me." A voice said. Hater whipped his head around to see the Censor Monkeys.

""You are the most violent person we have met." One of them said.

"Yes you have clearly made this story beyond K rated." Another pointed out.

"Are your weapons even legal, and how do you know Fanatic 'Mr. I can just destroy whatever I want'."

"You ought to resolve your conflict peacefully=== after all violence is never the answer." All of them said.

COOOM!

All three Censor Monkeys, and their table had been reduced to a pile of ashes, though the Censor Monkeys ashes had eyeballs. Hater smirked and than turned to the others. "Let me make one thing clear mess in my affairs again.. and I'll let you in a little secret," he said.

His large gun suddenly filled up with a green substance and he let loose a shot that struck a cartoon hamburger on Jafar's table much to everyone shock it was a real life looking liquid...it was only one thing...

"Oh my gosh, it's DIP!" Maleficent shrieked in horror.

Hater grinned. "I think that you know." And with those words he raced out of the club area. Racing backstage he looked around searching for Fanatic. "WHERE ARE YOU!?" He shouted out. "Huh, becoming _Starscream_ are we?"

His large BFG became a laser gun once more and he began shooting wildly destroying everything he saw a maniacal grin on his face. "COME OUT COME YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE!" He taunted. "COME OUT GIRL!"

"I'M NOT A GIRL! …'sides you locked WG in the basement!" Fanatic said forgetting that he was supposed to be hiding. "...crap."

"That was a girl?" He asked, then shrugged. "Anyway…" he suddenly activated a pair of rocket-boots and jumped to the catwalk.. to see Fanatic holding another blade, along with is gun. "Oh I walked right into this one!" Hater deadpanned as Fanatic let lose another blast, forcing him back to the wall.

"Yeah, you're kind of dumb that way." Fanatic quipped.

Hater let out a roar and flew forward, but Fanatic dodged and began running up the catwalks, but Hater flew up to the top one as Fanatic came running up there. "Oh slag." Fanatic gulped.

Hater grinned and then decked him, knocking him into the railing. Fanatic looked over the edge and he saw the club patrons down below with Mickey trying to keep everyone calm. Fanatic looked and Hater held back a grin. He than bashed him downward, and Fanatic heard a crack in his nose.

Fanatic stumbled up his nose was now broken. He stumbled as Hater smacked him and then blasted him with a low level pulse. "Fanatic, I'm ashamed- first you run away and now you're barely fighting at all… did you really think that you could get away from me?" Hater said tauntingly.

Fanatic stumbled up his hand still firmly gripped around his gun. "I wasn't running Hater.. it's called strategy."

He pointed his gun towards something and than fired. Hater heard something break and he looked just in time to see a steel beam come down. He didn't have time to avoid it and it smashed into his right arm, it crashed to the catwalk and tore his entire arm off, the gun that it had formed exploding shooting fire out.

From the stage below Mickey saw the blast. "What the…?" He gasped. He looked at the crowd. "Nothing to worry about folks! Just uh, some minor problems..." He then looked off stage. "Minnie, tell Clarabelle to get her act ready..NOW!"

Hater stared at his arm and both he and Fanatic felt the catwalk buckle. Before anything more could be said Fanatic charged he slashed Hater across the face with his blade and than punched him. "I'm shocked that Tempus didn't do some re-wiring to your systems, otherwise you may have seen THAT coming." Fanatic scoffed as he drove his sword into Hater's other shoulder blade. Sparks flew and Hater let out a roar, as Fanatic kicked him and forced the blade out.

Hater stumbled back and stood up his sunglasses knocked off and his optics showing. "You cannot stop it Fanatic… it has begun… my arrival is just the beginning… he is making it through without your detection... my master will triumph and you will be powerless to stop-GUH!" he grunted.

Hater looked down. As he had been speaking, Fanatic had driven his blade directly through his chest, out the other end. Fanatic twisted it slightly, and then he raised his gun up to his chest. "Hater..you talk too much!" He said and fired.

*POW!*

Hater's body flew backwards and it crashed into the catwalk which was now shaking, it buckled and twisted, the wires began to snap.

"Oh I should have thought of this!" Fanatic said, bluntly. He than felt the thing tilt, and he saw Hater's body slid off, it fell off the catwalk and than crashed into the one below that, and than it slid off that one and than hit the railing of the one below that one.

Finally Fanatic saw it slid off the last one, and than it began falling to the stage below, Hater's optics flashed once and he grimaced up at Fanatic a scowl on his face. He than raised his arm up and it turned into a gun. "YOU HAVEN'T WON!" He shouted and, before Fanatic could react, he fired.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

"And now for my last story, as many you have seen, there are two Fanatic's roaming around the club- okay more fighting than roaming- and I am here to give you the inside scoop on just what is going on." Clarabelle was announcing on stage.

Before she could begin her fabricated story about Hater being born with Fanatic to Disney and his heart was placed in a robotic body because of Fanatic going insane… Hater crashed down next to her.

"What the…?' She said and looked closer. Hater had energon leaking everywhere; one arm was missing; his face was carved up; there was a massive hole in his chest; and an optic was missing… and yet he grabbed her chair and stumbled to his feet.

…right as the catwalk and Fanatic crashed down behind him.

Hater whirred around, a grin on his face that said, "You don't want to know what I've done to this kid- let's just say I've given him the TOUCH one to many times." He than raised his arm which turned into a chainsaw blade.

Fanatic grunted and pulled himself up, covered in cuts and bruises and he had a sprained ankle as well… oh and he was bleeding somewhat. He glanced up at Hater. "TIME TO END THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL, THE WILL OF TEMPUS WILL NOT BE DENIED ANY LONGER!" Hater roared and brought his blade down, only for it to be shot off. Hater growled as he looked up to see who took the shot… and his jaw dropped.

There stood Tracker, standing there with WG, being supported by FF2, and they all looked to be in the same condition as Fanatic was.

"WHAT?! HOW ARE YOU ALL ALIVE!" he demanded.

"We'll explain the whole 'Authors vs. Clones' scenario in the next chapter," WG sneered. "And buddy… you owe me another new machete!"

Hater glared, then raised yet another blade. "How about THIS one?!" he then ran forth.

That did it. Fanatic snapped up and grabbed his head and kneed him in the 'unmentionable area' and than smashed his head into the ground. "NO ONE TIRES TO KILL MY FRIENDS!" He roared and he smashed Hater's head into a wall. "NOBODY, DO YOU HEAR?!"

Fanatic than raced backwards and he threw himself and Hater into an electrical box just offstage. "NO!" Hater shouted as his back crashed into it, a power surge shot from the thing as it zapped and sparked, as he tired to get free, but Fanatic held him there. Hater's screams echoed all across the club as his systems fried. He gave a final glare at Fanatic before his system crashed and he slumped forward.

The others raced back. "Fanatic, that was AMAZING!" Tracker exclaimed.

"Dude that was AWESOME! Gimme five!" WG shouted happily and raised her hand, but he didn't move. "…Fanatic? Hey, don't leave me hanging!"

"Fanatic…? What's wrong?" FF2 asked.

Fanatic turned towards them… and what they saw was the most horrific sight.

Hater's hand had become a blade and had broken off… buried into Fanatics' side.

"F-Fanatic?' WG asked feeling tears welling up.

The young author suddenly hit his knees and fell forward bleeding heavily from his side.

"NO!" WG shouted in despair at the sight. "NO… FANATIC!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0

From within a dimension of shadows a figure watched Fanatic Fall and Hater die.

"Well now Hater… looks like your mission is complete. Shame that you couldn't be there in person… luckily you can at least watch."

The figure turned his head towards a rack of tanks full of energon, and one was drained and slid open… and Hater79 stepped out.

"Well?' Hater asked. "Did it work?"

"Yes… you did well, Hater, stabbing him before your systems shut down was tricky but you pulled it off… but do not get too excited. He has been through worse as you and I both know."

They both looked at the screen.

"We shall begin the next phase of our plan… as soon as we get word that Fanatic97 is indeed DEAD!"

They both grinned, watching as the other authors grieved over their friend, FF2 draping his jacket over him and scooping up his body, as Tracker put an arm around WG, both women sobbing as they all walked off-screen.

Truly, the villains thought, this was one challenge they failed to handle, and doom would soon be upon the rest of them.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: Well, hate to leave it on a cliffhanger, but I believe we've seen enough epicness. Next chapter will be more of an in-between segment of what all happened while Tracker, FF2, and I were locked away in the basement with the clones, building up to this ending. THEN the story will continue.

Please review, and don't flame… it's bad enough watching what happened to Fanatic… :(


	15. Ep 12b, Authors VS Clones

And now for a in-between look at that last chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything… no, really. Fanatic owns all these kick-ass villains, Disney owns a bunch of awesome characters, and I don't own anything and I'm the frickin' author- what the heck?!

Tracker: WG, just start the chapter before you go on another rant.

FF2: Yeah, we don't want to waste an entire page with the disclaimer.

Me: Alright, alright, just pointing out the obvious…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_During the last chapter…_

"Oh yeah, about that… I LIED!" the Phony Fanatic shouted, slamming and sealing the door shut.

"…Fanatic?" WG questioned, then knocked on the door. *knock knock*. "Fan-aaaaatic?"

"Uh, WG, I don't think that was Fanatic… unless you've done something to miff him off again." Tracker told her.

WG sighed. "That's what I was afraid of… I CAN'T believe it, we fell for the ol' 'Evil Twin' gag! What is WRONG with us?!"

"Only our therapist knows for sure," FF2 quipped.

"Well, this isn't so bad. WG, you can just open us a portal out of here." Tracker said.

WG gave her a look. "Tracker, do you remember the LAST time I tried to use my portal-powers to get us out of a locked room?" she asked.

She cringed. "Oh, yeah… how we got kicked out of Switzerland."

"Well, there's just one thing we'll have to do- find a bunch of explosions and other lethal objects and blast that door open,"

"Good grief, have you've been hanging around Vinny again?" FF2 asked.

"Yes."

"Just wondering. Alright, this basement is huge so we'll have better luck if we separate and search. Tracker, you check near the lethal construction equipment, I'll go check by the nuclear missile section, and WG you can check near the pointy kitchen utensil containments."

"Right, we'll meet back here in ten minutes," Tracker agreed.

They all walked off… oblivious to the hundreds of red eyes watching them from the shadows.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Tracker's POV**

It was against my better instinct to agree to split up in the Club's basement- it was practically the size of Cuba, and easy to get lost in. Fortunately, since we started working here, we learned how to navigate through it and be careful of every kind of hazard… let alone mastered 'Marco Polo' while exploring.

I came across a ton of construction equipment, from wrecking-balls to fork-lifts to welders to giant buzz-saws, et cetera. They stored all this stuff down here so they could pull it out later for a cartoon that involves chasing a baby, kitten, or some cute thing through a construction site and the pursuer ending up getting hurt, though it's been ages since anyone has done those classic gags, and I was pretty sad to see that most of the equipment was beginning to collect dust.

"Lets see, should we use the bull-dozer, or the kegs of dynamite?" I asked myself.

"_How about the wrecking ball?" _came the sound of multiple voices.

I looked over, just in time to see a wrecking ball swinging right at me! "WHOA!" I leapt into the air, on top of a metal beam of an unfinished building under construction, looking down to see someone was working the controls, then leapt down onto the ball as it was swinging back, breaking through the window of the machine. "Alright, who's the dead man who tried to knock me off?!"

I gasped, seeing what appeared to be Fanatic working the controls… but his eyes were red. There was another that looked just like him, but half his face was torn revealing a metallic skull, and a third whose arm-skin was torn off revealing a robotic arm and shoulder. _"He is," _They said simultaneously, pointing at each other. _"And you're going to die now."_

Their arms suddenly became weapons, pointing them at me. "Ah, crud," I leapt out when they took charge, blasting or slicing at me. "First we're dealing with zombies, now crazy robots. What's next, gremlins?"

I paused, hoping I didn't just spring a new idea for this story, then raced around to a cement mixer, starting it up and pouring concrete onto the three bots, watching as they hardened and became nothing more than mere statues. "Ha! Try to stop me, eh?! Well it'll take more than three dumb-bots to take out…" I paused, sensing danger, and looked behind me…

…seeing hundreds of robots like the last three, crouched on the unfinished building, their red eyes glaring down at me.

"…Tracker… seventy… eight."

"_Resistance is futile. Surrender now and your death shall be quick." _All the robots said, using lines we've heard thousands of times in movies. Behind me, the first three bots broke out of their concrete prison.

"Oh, buggah."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**FF2's POV**

Searching for lethal weapons was practically like Christmas shopping for me, as I browsed through all the different kinds of bombs and missiles, half of which were used in the old Disney shorts they aired during WWII. It felt like I was in a store full of Animaniacs, Sam and Max, TMNT, and Doctor Who merchandise- so much I wanted to grab, yet very little time to gather it all.

"Lets see, I think I'll take the 300-missile launcher, a couple 50k bombs, a barrel of gun-powder with the detonator attached, and the arm-cannon." I said, grabbing said items.

"_Don't forget the exploding gift-box," _a robotic voice said, as I was handed a wrapped-up present with an ignited fuse.

"Oh, thanks I- YOW!" I chucked the box, watching as it exploded in the distance. "Alright, what's the big idea?!"

My eyes widened, seeing I was surrounded by several bots who struck an appearance to Fanatic, half of them without any skin.

I sighed and took out my weapons. "Should've known."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**WG's POV**

I think you should know the plot by now.

I'm looking for weapons. Some bots try to kill me via trying to drop a refrigerator on me, and I suddenly realize I'm surrounded by a bunch of Fanatic-like (or, as I've come to realize, Hater-like) robots either with full skin, missing skin, no skin… or, for some reason, nothing but skin (inching along only to end up getting stepped on).

"Ah man… we're using the whole 'Attack of the Clones' idea?" I grunted, taking out my [new] machete, and began hacking through the numbers. "As if taking out evil hamster overlords took up ENOUGH of my time…"

*Crash! Shatter!*

I swung my machete, missing a bot as it ducked, and ended up shattering it on the wall. "OH COME ON! THIS WAS BRAND NEW!" I couldn't help but shout in all-caps, tossing away my weapon. "Guess I'll have to go all-natural,"

*ZAP!*

And thus, I began using my laser-vision, blasting all of the robots into busted circuits. "HA! That was easy…"

"_A-hem,"_

I turned… seeing another hundred bots standing behind me.

"Of course," I muttered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Back to 3****rd**** Person POV**

The Hater-Bots lunged at Tracker from the beams, raining down towards her. She reached over and grabbed a thick metal lead pipe. "I don't think so!" she shouted, then began hitting them as they leapt at her, busting their metallic skulls open or breaking their heads off, while she dodged and rolled to avoid getting tackled. Another bot climbed inside a steam-roller and drove towards her, inches from crushing her, until she turned and leapt up onto the concrete wheel, running up it and climbing onto the engine, breaking through the window and kicking the robot in the face hard enough to make sparks fly, then threw it down in front of the machine. She then whipped out her rifle and shot at some barrels of tar, spilling the substance on the robots and forcing them to be stuck in place as she ran them over.

She looked out the window, seeing several more bots were climbing up the machine towards her, and climbed through the broken window and onto the roof, leaping and grabbing a grappling hook, swinging away as the steam-roller crashed into the cement mixer, pouring wet cement everywhere, watching as several of the bots got stuck. Before she could celebrate, however, the wrecking ball was swung back at her, as two more bots got in control of the machine, and knocked her off, into the wet cement, her ankles and wrists getting caught as the concrete hardened.

What made it worse was how some robots driving a fork-lift was coming her way. She struggled to break free, but it was no use- she was going to be impaled road-kill! And it didn't help that a crowd of robots were surrounding her, weapons fired up and preparing to blast or stab her on the spot.

"_You cannot win, Tracker-Seventy-Eight," _the robots said in unison. _"You are trapped. There is no one to save you. Your end is now."_

"Save me? What am I, an old-fashioned Disney damsel in distress?" Tracker scoffed. "I'm stronger than that…" her eyes began to glow yellow just then. "MUCH stronger…"

The robots lunged, slicing at her and firing as the forklift sped forward…

*POW!*

Tracker, in her werewolf-form, broke free of the cement, leaping high into the air, causing half the robots to blast/slice each other while the fork-lift creamed them, ripping their metallic bodies to shreds, oil and circuits spilling everywhere as the skin was ripped off and the gears ripped out, until a blast hit the gas tank of the forklift…

*BOOOM!*

Tracker leapt off the top of the now-falling beams, over the flames and onto solid ground, however she felt the attack was long from over as she looked into the fire, seeing a few robots staggering out, half-burned, sparks flying from open gashes or sockets that once held limbs.

"I gotta find the others," She told herself, then sprinted off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

WG stood on top of a large boulder (in the prop department of the basement) using her machine-gun to blast away the robots, a blast grazing her arm, deep enough to shoot a pain up to her shoulder and cause her to drop the weapon. "Agh! Dang it, first my machete, now my machine-gun," she groused, then looked down again, using her laser-vision. Sure, she could use it constantly, but what no one really figured about laser vision was… well, it really stung in the eyes, and blurred the vision, and the authoress could only use it for a long enough time until she temporarily went blind. She stopped after blasting a few dozen, covering her eyes and wincing from the sting.

"_Give it up, boy, you can't win this fight on your own," _the bots taunted her.

"I'm a GIRL!"

***KA-BOOM!***

There was an explosion not too far off… and suddenly FF2 landed beside her, while severed robotic limbs, heads, gears, circuits, and wires rained down from the mushroom cloud. "And she's not on her own," FF2 added.

WG arched an eyebrow. "How'd you defeat your armada so fast?" she asked.

FF2 grinned, holding up a stick of dynamite. "As it was mentioned in the last chapter, I'm quite handy with dynamite… especially when I'm able to shove it up a robot's-"

*BLAM!*

Another blast cut him off, and he ducked, looking down. "Sheesh, these things must multiply faster than rabbits,"

"Yeah, and if I use any more of my laser-vision, I'm going to become blinder than Calvin after seeing Rosalyn in a two-piece."

"You realize you've got more than just one power, right?"

WG paused. "Oh yeah…" she transformed into Stalker. "Man, why is it I can remember my abilities when hunting down flamers, but when we're in a life-or-death situation, it slips my- WHOA!"

A robot pulled her off the rock, and she fell to the swarm of robots below. "STALKER!" FF2 cried, watching as the robots enveloped her, and was suddenly grabbed from behind and several robots piled on top of him.

*BZZZZAAP!*

*KAPOW!*

An electronic shock shot through the robots, causing them to explode. The robots on the rock looked down, confused… not feeling FF2 shift and change into Silver, the werewolf throwing them off him, grabbing one and using him as a weapon, swinging him around and knocking the others off, then ripped off one of his laser-arms and blasted at any surviving clones. He leaped down off the rock, landing on the spot where the robots had exploded, where Stalker stood, her fists covered in an electronic charge. "And everyone thought a werewolf with electric-powers was a dumb idea," she scoffed.

"You can rub it in the critic's faces later, Stalker. We've still got company," Silver replied, nodding in the direction of another swarm of Hater-clones.

The robots shot at them, and the werewolves dodged, ducking behind several crates. "We need a plan- these things keep popping up all over the place!"

"We need to figure out where they came from… where could it be?"

"A-hem," Tracker said, sitting on a crate above them, then pointed over. "Perhaps THOSE can answer your question?"

The werewolves looked over, seeing thousands of crates open, all of them labeled 'Exp. Clone- Failure- Hater(s) 0001-5000.'

"Oh. That's convenient," Stalker put, bluntly.

There was another blast, and Tracker grabbed onto them. "Hang on to me," she whispered, and suddenly turned them all invisible.

"Didn't know we all had so many powers, did you?" Silver asked the reader, as they walked over to the empty crates, the clones still searching for them.

"Hey, there's some blue-prints here," Stalker whispered, pulling up a sheet of paper. "It reads here that all the bots will be shut down simultaneously if the master-chip is destroyed,"

"Where can we find the master-chip, then?" Tracker asked.

"According to these assembly instructions," Silver stated, holding up a pamphlet found inside the crate. "The master-chip must be placed in one robot, so that it may communicate and control the rest… so we just have to figure out which robot has the chip."

They looked over at the swarm of robots, who were knocking over crates and blasting props, searching for them.

"I'd figure the odds are 1 in 5000," Stalker muttered.

"How are we going to figure out which robot could be it?" Tracker asked.

"Easy, I can locate it with my Sonic Screwdriver, all we have to do is scan them- as long as you keep us invisible, they'll never suspect us," Silver replied.

"_Heat-seeking vision, activated,"_ The robots announced, and all the clones shifted their visions to heat-seeking…

…spotting the werewolves by the crates. "Or… we could go for plan B."

"What's Plan B?" Stalker asked.

"RUN!"

"I could've guessed that."

The werewolves took off, the army of clones racing after them. They all raced around the corner, passing by an ice-machine… not realizing the werewolves hiding inside it, peeking out once they all had passed by, and raced out, heading towards the exit. "Okay, new plan: We bust out of here, we set off a round of explosions in the basement to blow every bot sky-high, and we figure out where these things came from," Silver said.

"Yeah… I mean, who built these things?" Tracker asked.

"They came from Hater97," Stalker replied. "Fanatic once warned me about him- he was built to be like a duplicate for Fanatic, but something went wrong, he went through a lot of pain, became evil, and now he's after Fanatic… and created a whole army of clones to help get rid of him AND us!"

"How do you know all this?" Silver asked.

"He PM-ed me his ideas on Hater- I'd discuss them all, but I'm too focused on getting out of here alive to reveal the full-backstory!"

"Who's Hater79?" Tracker asked next.

"If my guess is correct, he's that phony who locked us in here with his killer copies!"

"You think he's the one with the master-chip?"

"I don't know- Hater created these clones, and probably is fighting Fanatic (who, I should point out, is even more insane than I am) even as we speak! He's a determined droid, but he's probably smart enough to install the chip somewhere else in case he was defeated,"

"And he probably thought that 5000 clones would be more challenging and the odds of us destroying the chip would be minimal?" Silver guessed.

"Bingo- problem is, none of the robots give orders, they all act out on their own, yet in unison. There must be someone working behind the scenes. But who? WHO?!"

"Not so loud, Stalker! Those crazy clones will…" Tracker hissed.

*Stampede sound*

The clones surrounded them all just then. "…hear you."

"_Your procrastination from death is pointless. Prepare to be eliminated," _The clones said, charging their weapons and taking aim.

"Stalker… please tell me there's a weakness these Hater-bots have that Fanatic told you about, that may have slipped your mind," Silver gulped.

"I don't know. The only other thing I know is that Hater hates everything Fanatic loves and loves everything Fanatic hates," Stalker replied.

Tracker's mind raced furiously with the new information, then got an idea. "Hey, look! It's that script for that Justin Bieber TV series we were sent down here to destroy!" she shouted, pointing in a random direction.

"_Where?" _All the Hater-bots asked, turning their heads in that direction.

The werewolves then sprinted, leaping and running/stomping on the clones' heads. "Gang way/coming through/move it or lose it," they said as they ran.

One of the clones looked at the other. _"I thought robots like us were supposed to have an advanced intelligence not to fall for that," _it said.

"_Oh, shut up, we have orders to destroy those authors!" _the other replied, and all the robots raced after the werewolves, who raced up the stairs, trying to break open the door.

"Budge, darn you! BUDGE!" Silver shouted, slamming his shoulder into the door.

"Stalker, we have no choice- you're going to have to turn back into WG and open a portal, NOW!" Tracker said frantically, as she watched the clones come forward.

"Alright, alright, I'm on it!" Stalker said, then shifted into WG. "Portal powers, don't fail me now…"

Concentrating hard, WG tried to focus on opening a portal for them to escape through, yet the robots were already five feet away and closing. "Wherever Girl, hurry!"

"I'm TRYING!"

"_Prepare to die," _The clones said, advancing.

"WG!" Tracker and Silver both cried.

WG opened a portal…

But it wasn't to a way out…

Instead, she opened it to a live volcano, which spilled lava out of the portal and toward the clones, flooding the basement and causing all the clones to sink in the lava, combusting and exploding as they sank lower. Bad news was, it was melting half the basement too! "Wherever Girl, close the portal!" Silver cried.

WG cut off her concentration, then looked over, seeing a crate that read: 'Sorcerer's Apprentice Act 3', stacked high above some melting crates. "Open that crate!" she cried.

Silver ran and leaped from one crate to another, avoiding the grasps of still-melting clones as they reached out for him, until he reached the crate and, using his sonic screwdriver, busted the lock and opened it.

Now, for those of you who don't know or may not remember, 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice' was a classic Disney sketch from Fantasia, and Act 3 happened to be the scene where Mickey has brought to life too many mops and they begin to flood the basement, losing control.

So, when Silver opened the crate, a blast of water shot out like a water-fall, waves upon waves washing over the lava and- when hot lava comes into contact with cold water- it forms hardened rock. Thereby, the destroyed clones were buried beneath solid magma, and only a few props were melted.

Silver returned to Tracker and WG, all of them taking deep breaths. "Wow… I never slaughtered so much since our zombie-attack," the authoress said.

"Yeah, though we didn't exactly get out of it unscathed, this time." Tracker said, pointing out the scrapes, scratches, and bruises they had gained while fighting the robots.

"Worst yet… we still can't get out!" Silver grunted, pushing and pulling the door. "Hater sealed us in, good!"

Tracker sighed, sitting down. "It's no use… we're trapped down here, until someone finds us,"

"Yeah… And I had invited the cast of _Turbo Teen _and _Sam and Max _to come visit tonight, too." WG added.

"**You what?!" **Tracker and Silver shouted, and raced towards the door-

*CRASH!*

…breaking through it. "Wow- pent-up psychotic fan-enthusiasm can break through anything," WG commented, looking through the hole, seeing Hater went as far as sealing a giant diamond to it- which now had a giant hole in the middle.

Tracker and Silver stumbled a bit- a bit dazed at crashing through such a thick barricade- and reverted back to their human forms. "Lets go find Fanatic… then get some autographs," FF2 slurred.

"You guys sure you don't want to sit down for a bit and let me handle it?"

"Hey, we can handle it, we're fine." Tracker scoffed, rubbing her head.

"Are you sure?"

Tracker gave her a look. "For the last time, Sailor Androm3da, we're fine!"

WG blinked. "Okay then…"

There was suddenly a loud *CRASH* from the stage, and they looked over, seeing that the cat-walk had come crashing down… and Fanatic was suddenly at the mercy of Hater. "C'mon… we've got a robot to hack to pieces," FF2 sneered, and they stormed on stage.

After Tracker shot off Hater's arm-weapon and WG chewed him out, Hater then turned his attention in getting rid of the three authors before him, angering Fanatic into having one last brawl with him, jamming him into the power-box and short-circuiting him… yet at the last moment, the robot had stabbed him in the side, much to the despair of the others.

"What… what are we going to do?" Tracker sobbed, as FF2 carried Fanatic's body towards the doors.

"I… don't know." FF2 replied. "We have to get him to a doctor,"

"No doctors can help him," came a voice, and they looked up, seeing Optimus Prime standing there. "There is only one place he must be taken to, in order to heal,"

The authors looked at each other, then back at the Transformer. "Take us there" WG said, pleadingly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

They didn't know that Tempus and Hater79, who's energon had been saved and stored in a spare body with all his memories of the event downloaded into it, had been watching them. "Are you sure he shall die?" Tempus asked, more in a questioning tone rather than an anxious one.

"I did a number on him and weakened him… but I believe it'll take more to beat him," Hater admitted. "Same goes for those friends of his- 5000 clones, and they still defeated them." he grinned. "Then again… those were only the prototypes."

"Yes… and as long as I have the master-chip, their masses will be undefeatable," From within the shadows, his eyes gave Hater a dark glance. "As well as you… as long as you avoid failure- or should I remind you of the first time you screwed up?"

Hater sneered, lightly grasping his chest, where his heart would be (if he had one). "I will not fail this time,"

"For your sake, you'd better not. Do not think you are irreplaceable, Hater79,"

With that, the lights went out, and Hater79 stood there in one spotlight, glaring into the darkness before turning away and disappearing into the shadows.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fanatic, meanwhile, was rushed to the ER… namely at the Base he had taken Minnie to in that episode where WG was the host. "Why did we have to bring him here?" Tracker asked.

"Because, this is where we always bring him in order to be restored back to health," Optimus explained. "Cryogenic Regeneration can work wonders,"

They looked, seeing Fanatic was placed in a chamber- one like the chamber used in _Beast Wars _to restore robots, yet this one was built for humans.

"Will he be okay, afterwards?" WG asked, concerned.

"Oh yeah, Fanatic has gone through WAY worse things," Brain Wave spoke up. "Like the time his skull was reduced to nothing but powder,"

"Or the time his arm was ripped off and had to be reattached?" Head Case added. "And how about when Tempus ran a strand of energy through his heart- and he still survived!"

"Who's Tempus?" Tracker asked.

"What, Fanatic didn't tell you about him? He's practically his number-one enemy… besides Hater,"

"They've put Fanatic through a number of injuries, some fatal, some minor, yet he's survived many of them." Bumblebee added. "Your friend is going to be alright once he is restored."

FF2 looked into the machine. "Soooo… when will he be able to wake up?" he asked.

"It's hard to say, the process takes days, weeks, months, sometimes years to finish," Brainwave replied. "But, when it comes to Fanatic, it may not take that long. We'll see,"

Tracker's phone rang just then. "Hello?" she asked, answering. "…Yeah, we're still at the base. Ah, don't worry about what Pete has to say about the damage, Mickey, we'll handle it. …Yeah, they say he's going to be fine, but he'll be absent from work for a while. …No, we don't mind working his shifts. …I'll let her know. …Thanks," she hung up, turning to the others. "Mickey wants us to work after-hours to make sure no one tries to break into the club while it's closed,"

"I'll call Colin and and Androm3da and see if they'd like to fill in," FF2 said, taking out his phone, turning to WG, who looked at Fanatic in his chamber. He sighed, putting an arm around her. "C'mon, WG… it's been a long night. Lets go home,"

WG nodded. "I'll be right there," she said. Tracker and FF2 began walking out, while she stepped closer to the chamber, resting her hand on it. "I promise, when you come back, I'll stick to your side. …No one tries to kill my friends and lives to tell it,"

With that, she walked out, leaving Fanatic in his chamber, in a suspended animation as, slowly and carefully, his injuries were tended to.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: And no cliff-hanger this time. The next few chapters will be absent of Fanatic, but don't worry, we'll keep checking up on him so you won't miss him.

Please review. No flames.


End file.
